Spider-Man Switches Universes

The centre of New York was often full of hustle and bustle. Men, women, and all things in between, all were welcome in the huge hotpot of humanity. The Big Apple was where you could see a blind man jumping around Devil’s Kitchen, where you could see a woman control the weather in Westchester, and today, where you could see a man in a massive mechanical suit hung from a single web.

“Hoo~ly moly. That was rough on the ol’ muscles,” Said his captor, rubbing his shoulder and practically hearing the creak in his bones. “Why can’t you ever rob banks around Luke Cage’s neck of the woods?”

There was little arguing that could be done from the man with an ivory horn, which left him to just yell, “Screw you, Spidey!” At the shorter arachnid.

“Woah! Language, Rhino!” Peter Parker quipped, putting his hands up defensively before giving a frown through his mask, “Come on, Alexi. You should be thanking me! If I hadn’t stopped you then you’d have barrelled your fifty ton hide right through that little old lady over there. Is that what you want? Hm?” He said while pointing to the small shaking woman that was still sitting on the bench near them.

“No…” Rhino admitted, looking kind of pitiable, even while hanging upside down covered in webbing. If it wasn’t for the nearby cop cars and their loud sirens, Spider-Man could have potentially heard the quiet, “Thank you.” that he gave out.

“Exactly. Now I’m going to go make sure she’s alright while the boys in blue find some XXL handcuffs, K?”

“Tell ‘er I’m sorry!”

With that, Spidey waltzed right over to the bench… only to hobble near the end and nearly fall on the same woman he was criticising Rhino for almost crushing. His legs had gave way but still had enough reaction power to land next to her instead of on her. The tiny woman’s wrinkly smile never left her face, holding her walking stick with a large amount of shake on her hands even as the nefarious Spider-Man landed next to her.

“Oof! Sorry about that!” said Peter as he achingly stood back up. He made sure his forceful landing hadn’t harmed her, looking over to an unimpressed Rhino briefly before giving a long sigh, “Turns out stopping an unstoppable **** is rather painful to my immovable muscles…”

“Such a good boy!” The old woman pet his face, still smiling at him through closed eyes behind thick rimmed glasses. “Tell me, dear. Do you have a woman to go rest with?”

Hmm.

Once upon a time, the girl of his dreams would be waiting for him.

This Paul situation was not something he wanted to recount to a random stranger, so the easiest response was to just be vague. “Nah, no Spider-Wife for me. And I think you’re a little out of my league if you’re trying to ask me out.”

“I had an awful husband when I was young, yet good men like you go unloved?” She said, finally losing her smile. It was probably meant to be reassuring, but Peter sort of felt like this old broad was just rubbing salt in the wound. Not impossible with his track record of New Yorkers… “You should be rewarded.”

“Thanks, but I don’t do this for rewards.” He said, patting her shoulder lightly before turning away. This wouldn’t be the first time he’d accidentally gotten into an old person’s will by saving them, but swinging away would always be the best call. “Anyway, as long as you’re okay! Stay out of trouble, young lady!”

Then he noticed a strange aura surrounding the benched woman.

“Where once fraught frigidness, now lies lust. In a world of raunchy women, be the only one they trust!”

And then he woke up at home.