Special Delivery!!!

From a large display screen in the bowers of the Latverian Embassy in New York, Doctor Doom; the armoured villain and tyrant watched from his throne at the progress of his Blue Flu, a satellite feed of the Xavier Institute and the gaggle of blue furred monstrosities trying to break free. Leaning back in his throne and bringing his hands together, the man smiled behind his iron mask. “Excellent, they are ready.”

From his vantage point he could see the blue furred monsters struggle to free themselves, with Cyclops and Storm throwing optic lasers and lightning respectively at the barrier, while the others used raw strength to batter against their prison, all the while the shield flickered and waned, looking as though it would finally fail at any moment. It would not be long now.

“Yes, my master.” Bowed Lucia Von Bardas, wearing a t-shirt with the words ‘Summer + Frost 4ever’ and clutching a crudely made stuffed toy of the Beastly Captain America with an adorable little plastic shield. “They seem to be having trouble escaping the energy field master.”

“Not for long, already the power reserves to the shield are fading, and when they do, the entire campus shall be turned, and the horde will rampage like a plague through the country… And only I can stop it!” turning off the video feed, Doom stood from his seat to look out into the view of the city. “They will rampage through this country, destroying or turning all in their path, their world leaders will beg and plead for me to end this plague, and I will… For a price.”

“Your plans reveal no end to your brilliance my lord.”

“Yes, they do, and no one can stop my plans, not even that pompous, telepathic blowhard of a professor Charles Xavier!”

*

Meanwhile at the front desk of the embassy…

The lobbyist to the Latverian embassy was typing at her desk, going over the itinerary of her lord’s plans for the day and booking a flight to leave the city. Hearing the front door open but not look up to see who entered, the woman heard the man speak in a fake Schwarzenegger accent.

“I’m here to see Victor Von Doom, I’m here to deliver the choppa he ordered.”

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken; our illustrious leader has no appointments today and is planning to leave.”

Looking around at his spot at the lobby front desk, Deadpool leaned forward. “I’ll be back… Later.”

Ignoring the red clad man as he turned and walked out of the lobby, the secretary continued to type at her keyboard until she heard a noise outside, one that made her sit up in confusion when she heard a loud truck horn squeal ‘Bebebe buh be, bebebe buh be, be bububub be’ before a taco truck crashed through the front doors and wall and smashed into her desk, mere seconds before she dove out of the way for safety.

“HEY VICKY! IT’S ME, YOUR UNCKE DEADPOOL! OLEY OLEY OXEN-GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!”

*

Tilting his head and looking towards the door to his chambers, Doom’s eyes narrowed after hearing the loud crash at the front of his embassy. “What in the devil is that noise?”

Lucia Von Bardas had done the same, raising an eyebrow to the sound which followed with the screams of the building staff filling the halls. “I do not know my liege; the staff of the embassy were not scheduled for a celebratory staff party for another 3 hours.”

The two were shocked when the double doors to his quarters were blown off their hinges, the blast knocking the pair back and slam against the wall behind them. Looking up from the wreckage of his throne room, Victor glared back at the remains of the doorframe and almost gasped. Standing at the lip of the door frame with a pair of machine guns in his hands was Deadpool, winking back at the two and striking a pose in the fiery rubble.

“FINALLY! Do you know how hard it is to find you when all the doors and walls have your name and pictures on them? How the hell do you know where the men’s and women’s bathrooms are when they all have your scowl?!”

“DEADPOOL!”

“That’s right! It’s me, I’m here to get the cure for the kitten pox you made up and shove that state of the art blow up doll over there right up your ass.”

Standing between Doom and Deadpool, Lucia’s arms unfolded into a cluster of blades and automatic weapons, aiming laser targets between the mercenary’s eyes. “You will not harm the illustrious Victor Von Doom.”

“HOLY SHIT! She talks too?!”

Screaming in rage, Lucia charged towards Deadpool, guns blazing while Wade Wilson did the same, doing a Xena Warrior Princess impression before the two collided.

*

Outside the embassy, the Latverian staff had all vacated the building and watched on, listening to the gunfire and explosions rocketing the building to its core. Huddled together, they couldn’t see what was going on, but could hear a great battle wage inside the building.

”D-do you believe our leader is alright in there?” Asked one of the staffers to the other.

At that moment the windows shattered from an earth-shattering explosion and a portion of the ceiling caved in from what looked like an energy blast fire up into the air. A gust of wind pulled at the crowd as a pulling **** imploded one of the side rooms of the embassy. While another flash froze on sight before crumbling.

“By our country’s laws I’m required to say yes...”