Some "interesting" infomercials

The first channel you come across seems to be running some sort of infomercial. Normally you would have zapped, but something about it catches your interest, and you keep it running while cracking open the can of toxic chemicals, sugar and caffeine you put down onto the large coffee table in front of you.

A sultry dark-skinned female announcer with a curly afro, big hoop earrings, deep dark eyes and retro-style horn-rimmed glasses obviously intended to give her a "nerdy" look walks into view. She might just be the usual, bubbly "I want to sell you shit you don't need" chick TV used to be filled with. But this time, something is different. Instead of the hollow, soulless joy those types of chicks usually convey, this hot piece of meat has a vulgar spark in hers. She wouldn't be out of place on the strip, making contact with customers, inviting them to let her jump into their cars and go somewhere more "private". The way she looks at the camera makes you feel like she's ready to lurch forward and suck your cock right out of the TV. An overlay names her "Dr. Nyomi Candy". Her position as a "head researcher" certainly seems impressive, far impressive than anything you ever achieved in your short, pathetic life, but you can't help but snicker thinking about a slightly different kind of "head research" this chocolate slut might be doing with those succulent dick-hugging lips.

When she opens the pillowy gates to her graceful throat, the researcher introduces herself with an opening pitch that definitely would have hit seemed relateable just a few hours ago:

"Stressed at work? Friends and family not giving you a rest? Your significant other being annoying? Feeling overwhelmed by life's many little grievances?"

But something is clearly off. Even though she speaks with a professional appeal, her tone sounds like that of a late-night radio announcer before putting on a fiery R'n'B hit. Despite the perfect diction and slight British accent, there's something about it that just screams "skank". The closest association your perverted brain can come up with is her talking dirty in a porn video while slapping a cock onto her face with the same confident ease as she does advertising whatever product she tries to sell.

The way she holds herself adds to her rather unconventional air for a smarty-pants scientist woman. The way she walks along certainly adds the desired "dynamic" effect, but given her wet dream of a body, the ebony bombshell also ends up putting enough jiggle into her gait to qualify for a strip club audition. Her thick hips shake with every step, with an ass built for twerking an a skinny waist crowning her whorish, intensely fuckable figure. Despite having curves in all the right places, there is not an ounce of excess fat anywhere. While she might have some sort of degree, Dr. Candy's clearly stacked like a pole-hugging stripper and built for fucking.

You start stroking slowly, wrapping your stepmom's panties around your cock. The slut on TV keeps talking.

"Here at FreeUse Enterprises we fully understand that feeling. And our engineers have been working tirelessly to help."

The whole time, a loud series of CLAK's draws attention to the pee-toe stiletto heels the towering ebony woman wears, adding further to her impressive height. Somehow, she manages to look both expensively dressed and easy at the same time. Besides a "lab coat" that ends well over her knee and barely reaches beyond half of her ample butt, her dangerously long, toned dark legs are not covered by anything in their all their impeccable, flawless glory. The way she walks with self-assured, reserved confidence seems far more befitting of a luxury escort than a researcher.

"fucking slut", you mutter, jerking your cock lightly. You love it. TV rarely was this fun before you came here.

Nyomi finally walks up to a table where she stops to pick up a silver platter with a mysterious object. The camera zooms.

"Relax and take some time for yourself boys .... with Zap'n'Use"

The doctor definitely bends forward far more than warranted, sending her cleavage right into the camera. Her "lab coat" seems to be missing the top buttons completely, so she presents not only the product but also her ebony tits to the camera on a silver platter. As it zooms onto something that looks like a fancy remote, it becomes clear that she wears nothing but lingerie underneath, the red lace clearly coming into view as her huge chocolate boobs stretch the coat's fabric dangerously.

"shameless skank" You start jerking faster.

She turns her voice up to 11 and the next words come with a seductive drawl more befitting of a phone sex hotline than a prime time ad: "You've earned it"

"Damn right, I've earned it, bitch", you mutter while a sea of the usual legal blabber flashes by rapidly. "Does not recommend the use for intercourse my ass"

Talking to the TV is a fun past time.

The final shot is a full frontal shot of her licking her big cocksucking lips. If the legal information was binding in any way, they have certainly failed the message.

The product logo comes up. The tagline reads "The First FreeUse Stress Relief". The ebony bombshell blows a kiss in the background, leaving a cherry print on the lens as the ad fades away.

You were just getting close. Yeah, yeah, you have a ton of sluts to suck you off at the drop of a hat, but hey - old habits die hard. The next commercial is unfortunately the same-old cheery mess. Annoyed, you switch the channel.

Next up is the news. Standard raging "I scream at the camera and want to make you worry fair". Always works on you. It seems to be about that Zap-something you just saw. With the hot ebony skank.

Despite a few legal hassles, sales exploded right after introduction, catapulting FreeUse Enterprises to the top of the fastest-growing companies worldwide. Although there were some high-profile lawsuits, one even escalating to the Supreme Court, trials were settled quickly after the majority male judges agreed to a demonstration kindly provided by Dr. Candy herself. In an unusual display of party unity, both right- and left-leaning judges agreed that the product constituted no infringement of the bodily autonomy of female subjects.

An old, wrinkly man who is introduced as Judge Perkins puts it: "No matter how educated or high-ranking a woman is, she should not face any obstacles and inhibitions in any field of work, including and in particular the frontier of sex work."

He smiles with the blissful, slightly goofy air of someone who has just had a much-needed ball-draning while he adds a cautionary note about the dangers of radical social movements and their encroachment on the hard-fought equality drive he supported over his tenures, pointing to his hard-fought progressive credentials.

Across the aisle, Judge Cole, an equally old but angrier-looking old man adds: "The right of men to their traditional position at the helm of a group of women has been observed to be an unalienable right ingrained into the Constitution by the Founding Fathers, and despite being under attack by liberal agitators, the precedent set by "FreeUse Enterprises vs Feminist Future United" will secure it for the foreseeable future"

Right at the moment when you zap him away, you catch a glimpse of the black slut from the other looking a bit rough around the edges. Still, even with old-man jizz dribbling down her chin before she hastily vipes it away, the lead scientist looks just as alluring . As she closes the buttons of her incredibly tight blouse, she expresses her gratitude and with a winking nod to the audience, adds that FreeUse will "help lots of guys get off" thanks to the Supreme Court's quick and decisive ruling.

"Ugggh, at least that whore is honest", you grunt, as the show switches to the next subject. Something boring and political.

You keep zapping, looking for more of the ebony skank until you find something. A talk show.

Introduced to a thunderous applause, Dr. Candy discusses the technology with the host, giving him an excellent technical overview and trading jokes and jabs with him. Nyomi clearly shows how intelligent and quick-witted. That's of course not what you care about. What catches your eye instead is the fact is the fact that the she looks delectable, dressed like an exotic dancer or raunchy model and casually showing off her flawless brown skin, ebony curves and proud, perky tits.

She then gives him one of the "magic remotes" as the creep who's interviewing her jokingly remarks it is known. He presses the button while she continues explaining how the device functions, talking about lucid dream-based brain wave modulation. The host cuts her off, pressing a big button. Pulling out his trademark sleazy, creepy smile, he casually remarks: "Show us your tits, Dr. Candy"

An off-camera audience laughs.

The statuesque black woman casually pulls down her top like it's the most natural thing in the world. With her big chocolate knockers springing free on prime time TV, the woman smiles at him and jokes: "You could have waited for me to finish, Oliver"

"I knew it. Slut all along", you comment, taking a final swig of the chemical piss you drink in the mornings and throwing the can into the hallway.

The guy on TV smiles back at her: "I just had to test if the thing really works. Nice boobs by the way, Doctor."

The much older, gray-haired man winks at the camera with a lecherous grin. Another off-camera laugh as he takes up the remote again.

"Just gotta press the button, boys", the woman replies, completely casually and not bothering to cover up her tits and casually showing off how erect her mocca nipples are. You jerk off with vigor, not questioning the situation in the slightest before a shrill voice rapidly returns you to the reality of your everyday life:

"David! You lazy bastard! What the fuck are you doing jerking off in front of the TV in the morning!"

Oh, right. Claire. Not bothering to cover up your cock, you let your eyes wander over her. She's definitely dolled herself up for work, with nice make-up, a white blouse with just enough transparency to show off her lacy bra and a short black dress that's currently hiked up around her waist, showing off her shaved pussy.

"Is that my fucking panties, you useless jerk?"

Oh right. She is missing something.

"Are you gonna keep jerking off? This shit is really getting on my nerves. Just because you're able to facefuck any slut you want doesn't mean you pay the bills! YADDA YADDA YADDA BLA BLA BLA"

You stepmom's bitching would have scared you just a day ago, but right now you're feeling bored, and being the lazy slob that you are, you look for a quick and easy solution. Then, suddenly it dawns on you. The remote you are holding does look very similar to the one you just saw on the big screen. Could it really?

"Hey! Are you even listening to me? You big-dicked loser! You'll pay for that, I promise you! I need to be at the office in 20 and I don't want to be wearing your cockjuices the whole day!"

Ignoring your step-mom's bitching, you take a good look at the remote. There's a big button named "Control", a series of "mood" buttons with different colors labeled onto them and even a "freeze" button. No... no ... There it is! Just what you were looking for. You point the remote at Claire and press the "mute" button labeled with a taped mouth.

"I'll fucking... " ... then ... silence. It... worked?

Claire's lips are still moving. She glares at you, first in shock, then in anger after she realizes what you just did looking back and forth at you and the TV. Deciding enough is enough you smile sleazily and stand up, keeping your trusty remote in hand. Your dick swings in front of you, her panties still around it. Despite looking like you couldn't be any harder, you twitch again when you see something delectable flashing in the bitchy cunt's eyes: fear. She starts backing off slowly but you effortlessly catch her and pin her down....