Solves Everthing

The absolute nerve of these filthy perverts!

Drunk, lacking in any sort of discipline, and horny as teenagers. Truly, they disappointed Alice with each word that came of their mouth. If her bar was on the ground, then they somehow managed to dig right under it. It was unfathomable how much her kingdom's armies have deteriorated without her father's direct supervision. Where were the unbreakable legions that once carved a whole kingdom out of nothing? Knights in shining armor that could reduce a single squad into dust beneath the hooves of their trusty steeds? Now, all that remains are unworthy conscripts who lack the will and the drive to improve. Good times create weak men, as they say, and the three men standing before her embody such a saying perfectly. Weak and pathetic excuses for soldiers.

No, they would not be laying a hand on her, and they should thank her for that. If one of them had so much as accidently touched her while she walked past them, she'd have had the man executed where he stand. So it's good fortune for them that she'll only have them beaten to a pulp instead. "Oh? You think I'm pretty do you?" Alice asked with a venomous smile. Even the most oblivious men should've noticed the danger signs by now, but these **** laden fools just nodded and smiled even wider.

"We saw you all the time, walkin' around the palace and the city. Way prettier than any of the lasses the general brings 'round," the middle one says, hoping flattery can get her to agree to his outrageous demand. "We ain't ever touch a royal lady before! You'll be the first!"

"Well, there's certainly a reason for that," Alice replies with a disdainful sneer as she steps back, watching as the three men's faces turn from hopeful to confused. Raising her hand, she calming pointed at the three of them before turning to her knight. "Don't kill them."

For all the dissatisfactions she may have about Finley, his martial prowess was never in doubt. Like a silver streak, he rushed forward, almost too fast for the eye to see as his gauntleted fist smashed into the first man's nose with a sickening crunch, and he went down like a sack of potatoes, screaming and holding his ruined face. Alice had to take another step back to avoid the spray of blood that few into the air. Drunk and addled, the other two spent far too long trying to comprehend what had just happened, and that gave the knight plenty of time to deliver a knee into the stomach of the second person, who doubled over and began hurling. The thirds man was finally snapped from his reverie as he drew his sword in fear and swung wildly, but his rusty blade stood no chance against the silver armor that Alice had personally commissioned. With a screech, the blade was repelled and a fist to the temple was received in response, and he fell without a sound.

The upper class typically shunned acts of **** as uncivilized and barbaric behavior, but Alice disagreed. It was a great problem solver, especially when it came to fools who didn't understand any other language. Pushing past Finley, she casually stepped over the **** man and paid no attention to the other two who were still writhing in pain. She was here for a purpose, and they had impeded her. That was all it was.