So here's what you missed on glee.

Rachel and Finn broke up, but then got back together, but then broke up again but they're friends this time, and no-one really thinks that'll last long. Brittany tried to make Britney week happen again, and then Tina fought for Gaga, but they made up in the end with a group mash-up. The Cheerios lost at Nationals, and Sue's super mad, especially at Quinn. Everyone's always super mad at Quinn. Including Quinn.

And that's what you missed, on GLEE!

Usually, Rachel Berry would have hated how much of a cacophony the choir room was. It was no way to run a club, particually one so very important, and with Mr Schue off at places unknown - Tina had suggested he was playing tonsil tennis with Ms. Pillsbury, and Rachel would agree, though perhaps in less crude words - it fell to her and Finn, the group captains, to run the session.

This never usually went all that well, but that was besides the point.

But today, it provided a relief. She cared about Finn, very deeply, and she knew he felt the same toward her. But break-ups were never fun.

So she was very quietly letting the rumours fly, even if it kept everyone off the topic of glee.

Speaking off... She still wasn't sure what the newest rumour was. Usually, Rachel didn't care much; partially borne of her own studiousness, partially having been the focus of many such a rumour.

She heard mention of Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader and famed High Bitch in Command. Perhaps it was just the reccuring rumour of her deep, rainbow coloured homosexuality.

Not... not that Rachel cared if Quinn was gay.

Honest.

Grateful no-one (especially Finn) was paying enough attention to see the pink-ness on her cheeks, Rachel tried to pay attention, though the criss-crossing of voices made it difficult.

"I'm just glad I quit," Kurt said, "It was difficult enough having to wear the same clothes every day."

"We did look amazing in them, though," Mercedes grinned, to which Kurt laughed and nodded.

So it was something to do with the Cheerios. Maybe they were getting a uniform change? But Rachel doubted that would cause so much consternation, even in small-town Lima.

Unless the red and white colour scheme was being replaced with a rainbow one.

"At least they know they can pull it off," Tina chimed in, slightly staring into the middle distance.

Mercedes gave Kurt a very knowing look, to which he responded with a not-quiet-enough "Gay..."

Before Tina had a chance to respond, the conversation was instantly forgotten by the arrival of the famed Unholy Trinity of the school: Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, and Brittany Pierce.

All of whom were, instead of their usual cheerleading get up, wearing absolutely nothing, bare from their high-ponied heads to their painted toes.

"Who's gay?" Brittany asked, excitedly. She was the tallest and the palest of the three, and the only one to not be covering up. Her hands rested casually at their sides, and the glee club suddenly knew the answer to the constant question of 'Is she really a natural blonde?' "We have a club," she continuted, "I got us sweaters. We need members though. Right now it's just me and Santana, and she doesn't really wear the sweater when she comes round mine. Or anything-"

Brittany's voice was cut-off by a very put out Santana's hand. Her tan skin made her blush less visible, but it was there, and her free hand was still being used to cover her crotch. "She's joking," she said, with even more than her usual venom. Brittany shrugged, and looked back at Santana, who murmured "I'll explain later."

Stood to the side of the very, incredibly secret couple, was Quinn Fabray. The usually in control head cheerleader was as angry as she was mortified, with her hands practically fused to her privates.

Rachel tried not to stare, as bemused and shocked as she was, but couldn't help herself. Quinn was beautiful - all three of the girls were, of course - but Quinn's body seemed to attract Rachel's gaze like she was Jedi mind tricked. She'd seen Quinn naked before, of course - briefly in the locker room before and after gym class, or dance practice for glee - but those were accidental glances borne of a lack of cubicles in the shower. To see Quinn's long, toned legs, her steel abs, her soft breasts, her kissable stomach...

Oh dear, Rachel thought. That's an urge I'll have to figure out later.

She was brought out of her purely innocent musings by a voice in the silence. Tina, looking like all her dreams had come true, spoke up, asking the question on everyone's lips.

"Why are you guys naked?"