So Eager To Please

God but I was eager for him, my lips chasing my hand up and down the first quarter of him. And when I reached the bottom and he pressed hard against my mouth and I struggled to take anymore my hand would keep going, stroking all the way down before gliding all the way back up until it was up against my lips and I pulled them both back to the head of him.

I found my rhythm and I stuck with it and I felt him throbbing, pulsing and beating with the steadiness of me as I stroked him to full life and past that to near ecstasy. And taking a page out of his book I found my own rhythm for myself, my fingers playing panic with my sex as I plunged them in time and again and again.

Pushing forward to fill myself with myself and curling my finger in to stroke against the sensitive little space just in and up within me. My thumb rubbing circles around and around my clit again and again as this heat pulsated out from between my thighs in waves.

I was hungry to cum. I was eager and aching. I was throbbing and clenching tight around myself and it was a wonder that I could keep on keeping on with everything, that I could manage everything all at once without breaking my rhythm.

Fucking my mouth onto him. Fucking my fingers into myself. Fucking and fucking and fuck I wanted to fuck.

Each new encounter, whether it was my pleasure or the pleasure of someone else, just brought me closer to the certainty that I fucking needed to be filled. I needed to feel what it was like to have something like this inside of me.

A cock. A real cock.

Okay well maybe not exactly like this one.

My fingers were doing the trick, they were making me feel good, but god they were a far cry from the real thing. Not thick enough and not long enough and fucking attached to me, which made them entirely not what I wanted right now.

I wanted to be filled by someone else. I wanted to be taken by another person. I wanted to be fucked, by a real cock.

But maybe not by this one.

Because Jake was too fucking big for me. I could barely manage to suck him without hurting myself and I couldn't imagine taking him inside of me. The thought of that was absolutely terrifying to me and I couldn't imagine it, not without...

Without a thrill of excitement mixing in with a thrill of delight and the burning heat of a fire that I could barely even begin to manage or understand. As it all felt so out of my control and yet I leaned into it, knowing that it was only by my steady hand that I was finding myself on this path.

Knowing that it was all my choice. My decision. My wants and my desires and my actions and my needs and it was me.

Not Emily. Not this body. Not biochemical reactions and unfamiliarity with hormones.

I made the choice to suck this cock.

I was the one who needed to get fucked.

I was the person who was making this happen, by choice.

On purpose.

And I couldn't deny that if I wanted to and god I didn't want to. I didn't want to lie to myself anymore. I didn't want to deny myself anymore.

I didn't want to be anything other than what I was right now.

A woman. A real flesh and blood woman. One with a bright future and one who is making new friends and one who is able to do something absolutely insane like suck the cock of the second stranger this morning and love every last moment of it.

Fuck. I love my life.

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