Sneak through the old, dead trees

Texas swiveled around to a patch of old oak trees that sat withering in the middle of the cemetery. Their trunks would provide plenty of cover against Roxxie’s little search party.

The Sheriff watched her boots as she walked, calculating each step in advance to avoid snapping a loose twig or crunching the wrong patch of leaves. Owls hooted in the trees above as the dead branches swayed in the wind.

CRACK.

Texas froze, the color draining from her fur. She looked back down, expecting to find a snapped branch underfoot. Her eyebrows raised at the realization that the sound hadn’t come from her own footfall.

Standing just a few feet away from her, glowing pale in the moonlight… was a ghost. It was the spirit of a wolf, its eyes pale white, its teeth gritted with rage. A scrawny arm outstretched from the tattered rags covering its body was clutching an old rifle.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHCKKK!” Texas howled as she drew her six shooter and emptied its chamber in six different directions.

The cracks of gunfire faded. The smoke cleared. Quiet returned to the cemetery.

The old gunslinger was gone.

“Well, what do we have here? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Tex!”

Roxxie was leaning against the wall of a mausoleum, chomping on an apple as she spoke. Behind her, a long line of her underlings were having a tug-of-war match with her butt. They were fruitlessly pulling on the legs of some poor squirrel girl in an attempt to free her from the Roo’s crack. The unlucky punk’s sweaty, muck-drenched body had been pressed to taffy by the weight of her boss.

“I… I did see a ghost!” Texas hollered.. “We can sort this grave robbin’ business out later, Roxxie, we gotta get outta here! The rumors are true! This cemetery is HAUNTED!”

“Nice try, Tex, but you really think I’m gonna fall for that one after all we’ve been through? Admit it, Sheriff… you’re surrounded. And considering what you’ve seen of my little grave robbin’ operations… it looks like you’re about to get… AH!”

Roxxie let out a yelp, but it wasn’t at the sight of a spectre. The line of goons behind her had actually managed a tug strong enough to throw her off balance. Their attempt to free their squelched co-worker blew up in their faces as they watched their gargantuan boss’s bottom tumble on top of them like a mountain rolling over.

“It looks like you’re about to get squashed.” Roxxie finished her thought as her roo booty buried the rest of her crew alive.

Texas gulped as she watched her rival’s hips consume an entire platoon of thugs like a light snack. She was going to have to find a way out of this fast.