Slip on your black mini skirt.

This black miniskirt is maybe ten inches long from waistline to hem. You doubt its intent is to actually conceal anything. The inside label reads: "Excalibur Costumes" and "Sizes 2-4".

It’s surprisingly similar to putting on a pair of pants but the similarities are not reassuring at all. You step into it, pull it up and settle the elastic waistband around your waist. Very easy to put on and likely just as easy to take off. You consider that with mild dismay. Not that it needed to be taken off if someone wanted to explore within it...

Well, it's better than going naked. Not by much though. You bend over and touch your toes experimentally. You're pretty sure you can feel the wind tickle your pubic hairs. You'd love to have a girlfriend who wore shit like this...hell, who looked like this. You can't date yourself, though, unless you count masturbation as having a love life.