Sleepwalking Kim vs Regular Kim

“Ah!” Kim yelped, coming into her new and bizarre reality. She was crouching under something that looked like a table. The air was crisp, the halls silent, and the floor hard and cold. As usual for her nightmares, not a stitch of clothing adorned her lovely body… but at least she wasn’t alone.

There was another naked girl next to her! No, wait… The floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. It was all made of crystal. “Whoa, trippy,” Kim said, touching her reflection on the floor. The whole structure had a surreal and otherworldly feeling. Fitting for a dream, she supposed.

“Where am I? What am I doing it here?”

“I should be asking you!” Kim’s reflection talked back, startling the naked girl and making her bump her head on the table. “Who the hell are you? Why have you taken over my body?! Give it back!”

“Owww,” Kim rubbed the back of her head and blinked twice, examining the mirror Kim. “Huh, this is the first time they talked back. Hi Dream Kim, I’m the real Kim! As you are nothing more than a figment of my imagination, I took control of your body thanks to some lucid dreaming techniques I’ve read online. Been doing that all night in all kinds of dreams.”

“Dream Kim?” The Kim in the mirror seemed offended, she crossed her arms over her round chest. “Listen, girl, I work for the Gods of Dreams himself. I can tell you for a fact that this is not a dream and I’m the real Kim! ...Wait, been doing this all night? You are the asshole that made me jump from the tightrope!”

“Oh, so that was you. Girl, you live in a very bizarre world.”

“That’s all you have to say for yourself?! You made me lose my clothes! Not to mention the cold dip, the Nibbling Tadpoles, and the Octopus Guardian in the river! Worse, I fell four more times because someone also broke the balancing pole!”

“That’s rough,” Kim rolled her eyes, barely feigning sympathy for this figment of her imagination. “But why did you want to come here so badly?”

“Because I need to get back the crystal wand that my boss lent to the Queen of Fairies. Since she doesn’t want to give it back, I’m trying to steal it from her.”

“That sounds super sketch, and you say this work comes from your “boss”, the God of Dreams? Are you her thief or something?”

Mirror Kim sighed. “More like his errand girl.”

“If these are the type of errands you do, sounds like a shitty job.”

“It’s not so bad! The pay is good, and I need it cause I’m up to my neck in debt!”

“To whom?”

“… my boss. It’s a long story. Can you please move away?” Kim shrugged; she began to crawl away from under the table. “Wait, I didn’t mean like that! There are fairy guards all over the place, they can’t find us!”

“Why not? What will the Fairy Queen do if she catches you?”

“Depends on who is sitting on the throne right now. There are four elemental sisters, you see, and they rotate Queendom every couple of hours, which are days in fairy time. If we are lucky, we might get caught by the Wind Fairy, who just throws me out into the river. But her sisters, ugh…” Mirror Kim shuddered.

“No seriously, is this an acid trip? This has to be an acid trip.”

“Water Fairy is not so bad, she just makes me her servant. I have to clean the floors, cook her dinner, the works. Fire Fairy is very strict. She thinks I'm a criminal…”

“But you are.”

“…tosses me to the pillory and has her servants tickle me, throw snowballs or practice their wind whip spells on my butt. Earth Fairy is the worst because she thinks humans are super cute! So she makes me be her pet, takes me for walks with a collar on my neck, makes me do tricks in front of the whole court…”

“…How do you know all that?”

“Not my first rodeo. Can you please leave me alone so that I have a shot at actually completing my mission without all of Fairydom laughing at my tits?”

“Depends. You seem a bit older than me. Do you remember your Philosophy 101 midterms? What were the questions about?”

“Philosophy 101? I never took that class.”

“Understood, have a good day. I’ll leave your dream now.” Kim rolled away from under the small table and yelled: “Hey Fairies, I’m here!”

“What are you doing?!” Mirror Kim asked. The sleepwalking Kim could feel her blood run cold, and with it, she left the nightmare before things could get real bad.