Slapworthy?

“Don’t think I won’t forget this! I missed the fight because of that greasy hellhole. Do you hear me, Jefferson? I’m talking to you! Turn that damn exhaust fan off!” Gabriel yelled through the door.

The Locketts had arrived just as Kimberly squealed out of the cabin’s driveway. Although Finn managed to calm tempers with his plea and subsequent conversation while helping carry his mother’s friend’s bags to her vehicle, it had been evident to the dismayed mother that she’d missed something big.

And while Gabby rushed out of the car to hear the lowdown, Jeff barely parked the car before racing inside. Watching Mr. Lockett dash into the first bathroom he found, JoJo whispered a question about Jared’s stomach. Father and son ate the same greasy breakfast at the diner. Her first lover expressed certainty that he felt fine.

“Wait, don’t turn the fan off!” Gabby backtracked her order after getting a whiff of the aroma leaking through the bathroom door. “Serves you right for getting an upset stomach. How many times have I warned you about that place? And how many close calls have you had over the years before we got home? I better not get sick. If I do, you’re in the doghouse, mister!”

As excited conversations took place all around Harvey, he took a moment to ask a simple question.

“So, you guys won’t be having lunch with us? I’m just making something small and kind of fast, but I do need to know how many people–”

“Just great! I told you Harvey would be a gracious host and offer lunch. But you had to go and be a bad guest, Jeff!” Gabby bellowed before banging on the door. “Courtesy flushes, honey! It’s starting to smell out here. You better not plug up that toilet!”

Assuming the Locketts were out for lunch, Harvey passed by Gabby's two friends while they huddled around Finn. Patting his old friend's son's shoulder, Harvey grimaced at Bridget's crying. He wondered if her overreaction to the argument with Kimberly might have more to do with delayed stress over her impending divorce. They really should talk. Harvey didn't want their fun over the last day and a half to make matters worse for her.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” the blonde doctor gasped between sobs. “I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“Hold on a minute,” Rachel said, gently pulling her clinging friend away from the seemingly embarrassed young man. “Perhaps Kimberly needed this confrontation. She’s ignored everyone’s advice and steadily worsened over the last half dozen years or so. Not to mention, she seems even worse with the divorce close to being finalized.”

“But I shouldn’t have done that on Cassie’s week,” Bridget sniffled, leaning against the sofa’s back.

“Maybe Kimberly shouldn’t have fucked or tried to fuck several of her friends’ sons!” Rachel snapped. Then, with guilty eyes shooting to Finn’s awkward expression, Rachel slapped her hand over her mouth. Fortunately, nobody else in the room caught the connection.

“Look, I get why you fought with her, Aunt Bridget,” Finn began after clearing his throat over the awkwardness. So far, he and Rachel avoided further discussing their weird night. “Kimberly seems out of control lately. I’ve seen how she’s operated around campus, but it’s still shocking that she made moves on Sean and Jared and actually ended up in bed with Austin.”

“Do you see?” Rachel prodded the still weepy Bridget.

Finn held up a hand to stop his surrogate mother from continuing.

"I know she's changed. However, she used to be Aunt Kimmie to me and was a good friend to my mom for years," Finn pointed out, causing the others in the room to recall Kimberly's younger self. "Perhaps I'm wrong. Yet, I can't help but wonder if she wouldn't have changed so much if Mom had still been here. Maybe Kimberly's change was inevitable, but I know Mom would've tried to help with whatever drove her to this. And I know Mom wouldn't want me to give up on her yet. This whole week has reminded me of that. I have to try."

Bridget and Rachel stared at Finn as he made his impassioned point. It felt like the years were peeled back for both women as Finn showed Cassie's softer, more compassionate side. Bridget glowed with pride and love at seeing how he'd turned out. She only wished Tinny could be here to see it, which led to the more heartbreaking wish that Cassie was here to witness the young man he'd become. That caused her to sob again. Rachel joined in with her first tears while fresh ones poured down Bridget's face. The two women moved forward to hug their missing friend's son.

Only for Peyton and Lana to beat them to it.

His two co-best friends wrapped Finn up in a love-filled hug. Peyton praised Finn for being a great guy, while Lana teased him for being too nice. Stopping their movements, the two moms stopped ahhing over Finn and now cooed over their daughters’ and Finn’s friendship. Each woman knew how rare and unique it was for their offspring and friends’ children to be so close.

“Pey might be reluctantly willing to help you, but I’m not,” Lana declared after the blonde’s offer to help Finn. “I think Larry’s the one who deserves our help. I might need to take one of his classes next semester to keep an eye on him. But I’ll still have your back if that bitch starts trouble again. I promise to punish her even more!”

“Hey, how about letting me get in a slap next time?” Peyton teased.

“Nope! I promised your grandma that you wouldn’t get a criminal record when I’m around,” Lana revealed.

Gasps filled the room as even Sean and Lacey’s group broke their watchful silence.

“What?! Grandma did not say that,” Peyton insisted while Bridget covered her mouth to stifle laughter.

“She did so. It was back in grade school. Fifth grade? No, maybe it was fourth,” Lana murmured, attempting to recall the exact year. “Something about keeping you from turning into your mom or Brandy.”

“Whoa! I didn’t get arrested, let alone questioned by the cops, until like the middle of junior high. I’m not in Brandy’s league,” Bridget argued, causing Sean to palm his face.

With Bridget muttering about having another talk with her mother, the crying died down as she and Rachel dragged Gabby to the kitchen. Suddenly snapping out of her internal musings, Lacey finally shot forward to hug Whitney. Although she rolled her eyes, the cheer captain warmly returned the gesture.

“I expect details,” Whitney announced, referring to the big breakup. “I know you didn’t tell me everything on the phone. And what happened last night? I thought you’d call back.”

“We had dinner with Finn’s grandparents. It was part of Finn’s plan to squash Pey and Lan’s latest blowup. Barney found a few old home movies, which we watched until falling asleep,” Lacey relayed, turning to wrap her arms around Sean. “And you were in them.”

“I was?” Sean repeated, suddenly curious about the videos.

“Do you remember Barney’s eighth birthday party at Funland?” Lacey asked with expectant eyes.

“Captain Clue!” Sean exclaimed, causing Whitney and Ramsey to frown at the name. Whitney smirked as she recalled Sean’s sweet gift while the junior reporter mentally kicked herself for not realizing the connection before.

“Mr. Barrie caught the moment you gave me my teddy bear!” Lacey revealed, beaming.

“No way!” Sean responded, smiling brightly until he caught himself. “Uh, I wouldn’t mind seeing that video.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s not worry about that right now. I need gossip. What really happened after we left?” Whitney demanded, grabbing her two closest friends and motioning them toward the master bedroom. “Dirt, Rammy. I expect the good dirty dirt.”

“I don’t gossip!”

“If you don’t, I’m replacing you as co-best friend. There are other reporters on The Buzzy Bee,” Whitney hinted.

“Whit!” Lacey gasped before scolding. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

“As if Daisy would put up with your bossiness,” Ramsey shot back.

“You go, girl! Stand up for yourself!” Lana yelled down the hallway.

Not invited, Sean suddenly perked up as he was free from Whitney for a few minutes. Glancing around, he saw Peyton inviting Skye to join them downstairs. He silently thanked his sister for the kind gesture. Despite becoming closer to everyone over the last week, Skye still worked on feeling comfortable around all the longtime friends.

Looking over at his oldest, closest friend, Sean saw JoJo struggle not to roll her eyes as Jared’s hand brushed his stomach. With a slight grimace, the stocky linebacker gingerly sat on the sofa. With her current lover indisposed, JoJo marched over toward her best friend. Sean expected a comment about Jared looking ill, but the busty brunette surprised him.

“We need to talk,” JoJo hissed, gesturing down the hallway.

---

“With a girl?!”

Sean’s blurted response happened inside the den. His initial discomfort about the potential of a talk about JoJo’s womanly emergence or needs turned to immediate shock at the news of Newt having sex.

“He’s not gay!”

"Oh, I didn't mean it that way," Sean replied, still stunned by the revelation. "Just that it's Newt. I'd be less surprised if he lost his virginity to a robot or android."

“Sean!” JoJo screeched, her cry masking Sean’s additional mutter about a sex doll.

“Hey, I’m just saying I didn’t expect him to have sex until college. Or after college,” Sean added before muttering. “I mean, has he even had cybersex during one of his games yet?”

The busty brunette's initial screech descended into giggles at the image Sean unintentionally put in her head. Yes, now she couldn't stop imagining Newt awkwardly flirting with an android. Attempting to break that train of thought, JoJo punched Sean in the shoulder, sending him onto the pullout sofa.

"Oww!"

“Oh, shit, sorry!”

“Jesus, Jo, I don’t need you beating me up. Whitney is already enough,” Sean complained, rubbing his shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry. Do you need anything? A painkiller?”

“No!” Sean exclaimed, not needing another side-effect right now. “Wait, who did Newt have sex with? Polly?”

“Polly Gettinger?! Really? Come on, Sean! Who makes the first move in that scenario?” JoJo challenged.

“I don’t know! She called him a pervert the other day for getting a woody. Maybe she liked what she saw.”

“A woody? What are you? Five years old?”

“Hey, it’s fucking weird to talk about Newt having an erection. Or do you dream about it?”

“Eww! No! It’s Newt!” JoJo squealed, not wanting to imagine her other best friend in that way. “Just no.”

“Wait, so who was the girl?”

"Not a girl. A woman," JoJo teased, using the big revelation as a way to ignore the thought of Newt's male parts. "It was…Skye."

“What?!”

Absolutely dumbfounded over the reveal, Sean struggled to comprehend the possibility. How the hell does…Well, I guess Skye was upset about Mr. Singer. According to what Lana said at the ball, something happened with Nate and Finn in the hot tub the other night. And I guess she did blow me in Whitney's hotel suite, but Whitney rigged that. How the fuck did Newt get HER for his first time?!

Sean also didn’t admit to himself that he felt slightly jealous over Newt fucking the hot waitress/model. If anyone should’ve had first dibs, it was him. He’s the guy who photographed/filmed Skye’s steamy photoshoot with Whitney at the hot springs.

"You also won't believe who helped cause it to happen," JoJo continued, rocking Sean back to the present.

"Don't tell me. If Whitney was here, then it had to be Lana," Sean guessed.

"Wrong! It was Austin," JoJo revealed, happy to shock her BFF even more.

Sean listened in rapt fascination as the soccer player recounted everything she'd heard from Newt or others. Hearing how Austin propositioned Skye, Sean felt disgusted over the way his old enemy treated such a nice woman as a prostitute. Lace should've dumped his ass years ago. Somebody needs to put him in his place.

“Newt did what?!” Sean exclaimed yet again.

“Didn’t you already hear about this?” JoJo queried, pretty sure he had.

“I don’t know. I might have. I knew something happened with Mr. Singer on the ice, but I was still pretty out of it on those first pain pills when we returned here,” Sean admitted, attempting to recall what he’d heard. “Newt risked his life to stop Finn’s dad from acting even crazier? Wow, I guess I wasn’t the only dumb hero.”

"Don't call yourself dumb," the once-shy brunette scolded.

“Does anyone else know?” Sean asked, referring to Newt and Skye, which JoJo understood.

“Jared does. Also, Newt said that Lana saw him leaving the penthouse. I don’t think anyone else knows. Why?”

“Because who’s going to believe Newt if he starts bragging about sleeping with Skye?” Sean pointed out.

“Oh! Yeah, I can see that, especially since Newt’s talking about finding a girlfriend.”

“He’s what?!” Sean repeated, thunderstruck by the idea.

“That’s partly why he didn’t complain about going home last night. Muttered some shit about making a list of potential girlfriends,” JoJo recounted before meeting Sean’s gaze. Immediately, the two best friends started to laugh uncontrollably.

“W-We…shouldn’t…laugh,” JoJo struggled to say.

“But it’s Newt!” Sean insisted before his laughing halted. “Oh, fuck! What if he asks out somebody crazy?”

“Oh, fuck!” JoJo mimicked her BFF, realizing their other close friend lacked certain social norms.

“Paige didn’t end well,” Sean added.

“What if he asks out a girl like Caterina or Yelena?” JoJo suggested, thinking of two of the worst possibilities.

“Or Iona?” Sean joked, earning him another punch to the shoulder.

“Not funny!” JoJo declared, defending her flirty and hyper friend.

"I was kidding, and you know it!" Sean insisted before thinking of another worst-case scenario. "What if he asks out a Bumble Girl?"

“Oh, crap! He wouldn’t…not Olena?”

“Shit!” Sean swore, realizing they’d need to keep Newt out of trouble from now on. “This week has been surreal.”

Thinking about her own life changes, JoJo nodded.

“Hey, can you slap me hard across my face? I mean like really hard,” Sean asked. “I keep thinking I’m still in the hospital and dreaming all of this.”

“You sure? Okay.”

---

“I know it’s not the greatest meal,” Harvey stated, pulling out several frozen pizzas from the freezer.

“It’s fine,” Rachel assured him as Skye walked up the stairs.

“Frozen pizza? Sounds good to me,” the brunette with blonde highlights said after a prompt from Bridget.

"I told you. Not everything needs to be elaborate or fancy, Richie Rich," the blonde doctor said in an I-told-you-so-voice. She immediately regretted it as Gabby's face perked up at how she teased Harvey. Seeking a distraction, Bridget added, "Harvey's been freaking out over all the food he still has in the freezer."

“I have–Oh, yeah! I just want to play it safe in case the power goes out again after we leave,” Harvey lied, recovering in time. “Damn, what happened to you?”

“Honey!” Bridget exclaimed, seeing the bright red mark on Sean’s face as he walked into the kitchen. “Did you piss off Whitney again?”

“Pumpkin better not have caused that,” Harvey growled, looking past Sean as if expecting to see his daughter, not JoJo.

“Whitney hit Sean already?” Rachel questioned with a shocked expression.

“Lover’s quarrel. You know it happens,” Gabby brushed off the issue.

“It wasn’t Whitney,” Sean responded, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “Jo did it.”

"Joanne!"

"Couldn't wait until you got home?" Gabby inquired, winking at the buxom brunette.

“He asked me to!” JoJo protested.

"Kinky."

"Gabs!"

"Don't Gabs me. She's been acting like a porn star with my son," Gabby shot back at Rachel.

“Wha? Eww, no!” Sean squealed. “I asked JoJo slap me as I wondered if I’d been dreaming the last several days.”

"Oh, dear," Rachel gasped, suddenly feeling terrible for not realizing Sean could be dealing with post-traumatic stress over nearly dying while saving Whitney.

“Trust me. You didn’t dream it,” Gabby stated, winking slyly at her secret lover.

Harvey and Bridget shared a look. Despite his wild reputation, the local playboy couldn’t blame Sean, not after fucking the two hot, busty blondes in his life.

“Yeah, I get that,” Harvey acknowledged.

“Wait, am I missing something? Hasn’t Whitney been treating you well?” Rachel queried, watching Sean with concern.

“Gawd, Rach, we all saw Tinny’s message. They fucked!” Gabby reminded.

Recognizing her son's embarrassment over being the center of attention, Bridget swooped in to save him. She recalled a point Peyton raised earlier in a phone call and brought it up to Sean.

“Sean, Peyton mentioned that we needed to grab Newt’s things. Could you be a dear and get them?”

“Sure, I can do that, Mom,” Sean replied, eager to get away from Rachel and Gabby’s prying. “I just need to grab my coat to head to the bunk–Oh.”

Everyone in the kitchen saw the same thing simultaneously: Sean looking down at his foot. Harvey opened his mouth to offer his help but stopped as Finn finished climbing the stairs. Hearing about the issue, he offered to help Sean to the boathouse.

“I need to grab my things too,” Finn said, brushing off any thanks. “Actually…Hey, Lacey!”

“What?!” came the scream from down the hall.

“I said Lacey, not Whitney!” Finn bellowed back. “Get off this line!”

Harvey chuckled, recalling past bickering between his daughter and Fred’s son at the old cabin. Finn might have a reputation for being kind and patient. But he also grew up dealing with Lana, so he knew how to keep Whitney in line during some of their past trips to Wasp Lake.

"What's up?" Lacey asked more politely while standing halfway down the hallway.

“Can you give me a hand in helping get Sean to the bunkroom?” Finn asked.

“Sure,” the petite redhead responded automatically. However, as she walked closer, Lacey and Finn had an unspoken conversation with mouthed words and facial expressions. Realizing the additional reason, Lacey shot him a big wink.

"Um, I forgot…Miranda asked… us to--" Rachel began when Lacey walked into the kitchen with her and Sean's coats.

“Don’t worry, Mom. Rory already asked me,” Lacey reassured her mother, who looked unsure about bringing up the matter.

“What’s going on?” Finn asked, handing over one of Sean's boots to Bridget, who helped her son put it on his non-injured foot.

"We need to get Austin's stuff and bring it with us," Lacey revealed, shrugging as if it were no problem.

“I can do it,” Finn offered before Sean could.

“No, no, I can do it. It’s not a big deal,” Lacey assured him.

“It’s not! We had to burn all the shithead’s shit to stay warm yesterday!” Whitney yelled from where the foyer met the hallway.

“Like you did that,” Lacey scoffed before changing her one. “You didn’t, did you?”

“Sure did!”

“No, we didn’t,” Sean insisted. “Don’t believe her, Lace. She’s been lying up a storm lately.”

"Ah, you're no fun, party-pooper!"

“Shut up, Princess Brat!”

“Make me, pegleg!”

“You want more snow in your face?”

“Would you two shut up?!” Jared roared from the couch, where he held his rumbling stomach.

“So this is how it’s going to be now, huh?” Gabby remarked, glancing at the other parents.

“Oh, my,” Rachel sounded as Bridget and Harvey nodded exhaustedly from recent experience.