She will

Teysa's heart sank. The fragile hope that had been building in her breast popped like a soap bubble. "Matron..." she began. "Are you... sure?"

"Hyessssss." The Matron's mouth was set in a firm line. "Remember our agreement, Teyssssssa. I will never **** hyou... but the warren mussssssst continue. That is why thossssse broodmotherssssss remain, issss it not?"

"Yes, but..." Teysa swallowed. "Why do you need my help?"

The Matron shifted uncomfortably. Guilt was etched into every line of her face. "I wish... that they be comfortable," she said. "Assss bessst as we can make it. I am not... I do not know what they need."

Teysa stared at her. _This has nothing to do with comfort, does it? she thought. You're scared. You can't face them. Facing them means facing what you've done. The lives you've ruined. You can't do that, can you?_

She could refuse, she knew. She had every right. She wasn't responsible for the misery of those women, and she didn't want to see them any more than the Matron did. She could go to her room, or to the arena to train with Lil'esh and the rest. And the Matron would descend, alone, to the deepest cave, and there she would...

We must not speak of these things. These things are secret things.

Teysa thought of webs, and pain, and tears in the dark. She thought of months that stretched into years, the endless cycles of breeding and release which were the only way to mark time. She thought of generations of spiderlings, born in despair, inheriting emptiness, living out their tiny little lives without ever knowing a mother's warmth.

She thought of her own mother. Before she had taken her vows, Teysa had loved to wear her hair long and straight, and hardly a day would go by when she wouldn't come home with it in a frightful tangle, full of burrs and leaves and twigs. Her mother would hold the squirming Teysa on her lap and brush out the knots while she sang and stroked her daughter's cheek.

"I'll do it," she said. "I'll pick your broodmother, Matron. But I want El'keth to come with me."

The Matron reared back in surprise. "El'keth?" she asked. "Certainly not. She hasssss much to--"

"Much to learn?" Teysa folded her arms. "Is there anything more important than the broodmothers? They're your future, after all. Shouldn't she learn how to care for them?"

For a moment, she thought the Matron might defy her further, but then the drider sagged. She gave a single, defeated nod. "Very well. Collect her on hyour way down. I will join hyou... ssssshortly."

As they left the audience chamber, Aliara turned to Teysa. "Way to go, Tey!" she whispered, elbowing the paladin in the side. "You really showed her!"

All of a sudden, Teysa felt very tired. "I didn't do it to 'show her,' Li," she said. "El'keth should see this. She should know what her mother did."

"You think she doesn't already?" Aliara asked. "You've talked to her, right? I mean, she does know the whole story, doesn't she?"

"Hearing it is one thing. Seeing is another." Teysa sighed. "I don't think the Matron is keeping secrets from her daughter, but... you saw her face, Li. Why do you think she asked us to pick her out a broodmother? Like we're going shopping for a prize pumpkin or something? She's guilty, Li. It's weighing on her. She'd like to just forget the broodmothers exist. They're a dirty little reminder of her sins. She'd rather just breed us. We can absolve her to her face and reassure her that it's all OK."

"Well, why not, then?" Aliara said. She shrugged at Teysa's shocked expression. "I dunno, it's not so bad when it's consensual. You ought to give it another shot. Why not just make things easier for everyone?"

"Because it shouldn't be easy!" Teysa snapped. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just-- it shouldn't be easy. She should have to see what she's done. Look... Lolth forgave her, right? And so did I. But that doesn't just wave a magic wand over everything and make it all better. I used to think that way. And that was stupid. The driders have to face what they did and understand why it was wrong. Otherwise... I mean, what happens when die? They live a lot longer than we do. Well, than I do, anyways," she added conscientiously. "Do they just slip right back into the bad old ways?"

Aliara laid a hand on Teysa's shoulder. "You're right, Tey. I guess I'm always looking for the easy fix. All this save-the-world stuff is new to me, you know? If it was up to me, we'd have just left after we finished up in the City." She held up her hands to forestall Teysa's reaction. "No, I'm glad I'm here with you! This is kind of exciting. The whole idea of making a difference, I mean. It seems like it's a lot of work for an uncertain outcome. Maybe you do everything right and they just go back to being monsters anyways."

"Maybe," Teysa admitted. "But the important thing is that we tried."

"Promise me," Aliara said, her voice full of sudden intensity. She stopped short and grabbed Teysa's hand, squeezing just to the point of pain. "Promise me that if it goes wrong-- if it looks like it's going wrong-- you'll leave with me. I don't care where. Don't throw your life away down here. There's a whole world out there. I want to see it with my Teysa."

Teysa hesitated a moment, then squeezed back. "I promise," she said.

Up ahead, El'keth waved at them. She had been unhitched from her cart and was counting coins. Of Jez'ria, there was no sign.

Aliara waved back and called out. "Ahoy, El'keth! Want to come with us?"

The drider sprang up and crossed the space to them in a few quick strides. "Of course!" she said brightly. "Where?"

Teysa cleared her throat. She tried to choose her words carefully. "We're going to see the broodmothers. Your... mother... needs to lay a clutch."

"Oh." El'keth looked thoughtful for a moment, then her eyes grew wide. "OH!" Her cheeks flushed-- the color beneath her ebony skin was not properly red, but a deep magenta. "And she wants me to come and watch?"

"No, we do," said Teysa. "I think you should see this. The broodmothers, I mean. You need to see what their lives are like."

"Of course," El'keth said, nodding. "My mother said that they will be my responsibility someday." She fell into step behind them. Teysa turned and headed for the deep tunnels. She had barely been down this way, but she knew the route well. She had **** herself to memorize it. Sure enough, they soon arrived at a familiar cave. Teysa shuddered. With the webs stripped from the walls, this room was barely recognizable, but there were a few details she remembered clearly-- a stalactite just there, a cluster of round stones there. There had been little enough to focus on during her months of imprisonment. She must have been hanging just there, her belly swollen, her limbs cramping from lack of exercise...

She shuddered and picked up the pace. The path led through here and along a gently curved tunnel that sloped every downward.

They passed a couple of driders hurrying past on anonymous errands, but this area of the warren was mostly deserted. The air was noticeably cooler here than above, the passages rougher. As they went, El'keth chattered happily; she apparently had not noticed the tense clouds that were gathering over Teysa's head.

"My mother told me all about how you freed the broodmothers," El'keth said. "She was so grateful to you. She said that it was something you and she started, but that I would have to finish. I cannot wait to meet them! The last time I saw them-- that was before you returned-- they were rather sullen and angry, and I don't blame them. What a dreadful life that must have been. My mother feels so terribly bad about it." Her nattering was starting to wear on Teysa's nerves, but before she could say anything, Aliara spoke up.

"El'keth," she said with strained politeness, "this might be a subject where tactful, introspective silence is most appropriate." El'keth looked a little abashed and held one hand over her mouth.

Up ahead, the corridor forked in two. Teysa's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember which way to go.