She left the suds in the bucket and the clothes hangin' out on the line

“Mary, would you like to say grace?”

“Yes, momma,” Mary said, taking both her mother's and father's hands. She said grace like she always did, feeling the lord’s kindness bless her family.

It was her favorite part of dinner. The meal itself, well… the food was delicious as always, but the conversation…

“I spoke with Father Gregory,” Mrs. Mactaggert said. “He told me he would just love for you to help out at the church group. You know, if you have the time.”

“Yes, momma, that would be wonderful,” Mary nodded.

“Perhaps you’d like to grow your hair out again,” Mr. Mactaggert suggested, in a tone that made it sound like a little more than just a suggestion. “I know how they do things in those cities and all, but keepin’ your hair that short around here, we get folks whispering, you know? Saying you’re one of those ‘lesbians’ or them queer ol' transgenders.”

Mary gasped, and her mother stared at her husband in horror.

“Sean! You can’t say those things!” She scolded her husband. “Talking about those sinners in a house blessed by the lord’s grace! Our daughter is not one of those… those fornicators!”

“I’m not the one who’s saying ‘em though!” Sean defended himself. “It’s the folks at church! Going off to college and coming back with her hair cut off, no man to marry, people get to talking!”

“It’s not like that, daddy, I promise,” Mary assured him. “Believe me, I would never to anything to offend our heavenly father.”

Jim sighed. “I know that, honeybee, I just… I’m just so worried. You have such beautiful red hair, just like your mother. It was a shame you cut it all off.”

“Well, maybe I’ll grow it back again,” Mary mused. “It’s just… well, you know how colleges are, daddy. What, with all the **** and the horrid sex parties?" Her parents gasped in shock. "I could feel they were all staring at me, just… just so eager to do me wrong and turn me into a sinner, I had to cut my hair short so they wouldn’t look at me so lustfully is all!”

“Well, don’t you worry sweetheart,” Mrs. Mactaggert assured her daughter with a gentle pat on the hand. “Here on our farm, no one would ever do you dishonor.”

“I know, momma.”

“But you know what would put an end to those rumors, right?” Sean asked.

Oh, here we go again. Heavenly father, please give me strength…

“If you found yourself a man, a real devoted sort, a pillar of the community, someone respectable,” her father gently urged her. “I’ll say, so many people live a life without His love these days, it’s getting harder to find a good one.”

“I-I know, daddy, it’s not like I don’t want to find a husband, I just-“

“Sean, I hope you aren’t suggesting that our daughter go out and…” Mrs. Mactaggert lowered her voice into a shaky whisper, hardly able to get the next part out. “Flirt with men like some strumpet?”

“No, of course not,” Mr. Mactaggert quickly clarified. “But what about nice Mr. Wilson?”

Mary’s freckled cheeks went pale. “M-Mr. Wilson? Form the general store?”

“That’s the one. He goes to church every Sunday, and you know he owns that shop! And he’s been asking about you lately, wondering how you’ve been. You’d do good to see if he might want to make an honest woman out of you, Mary.”

“B-But daddy, he’s almost 40!”

“I know honeybee, but you’re not getting younger yourself,” Mr. Mactaggert said cautiously. “It’s hard to find a good man for a woman your age, in a small town like this. Why, I’m lucky I managed to meet Erin!”

“Just say you’ll think about it, dear.” Erin gently squeezed Mary's hand.

“Y-Yeah,” she mumbled, nodding. “I’ll… I’ll think about it. May I please be excused?”

She took her dishes to the sink to wash and then fled to the safety of her room. Once there, she clutched the rosary around her neck and prayed to god.

“Oh heavenly father,” she whispered. “Please do not make me marry Mr. Wilson. I know it’s a sin to speak ill of your neighbors, but I simply can’t love him, I can’t. If you spare me from this fate my lord, I swear, I will do whatever you command of me.”

It didn’t have to be like this. If only she’d gotten her book published. But no one wanted to read a touching story about a man finding Jesus and learning to love his neighbor. The market just wanted that sacrilegious “urban fantasy” where women were tempted into sin by vampires and werewolves and other spawn of Lucifer. And those torrid books filled with sin and fornication, and they were being read by children!

The institutions of writing were in the hands of the adversary. She could still remember the suggestion that the publisher had given her when she’d submitted her manuscript.

“Okay, but like, what if instead of Jesus it was a hot female angel? And she could do it with the guy a few times to show him the grace of God and then he’d go ‘cum all ye faithful’ you know?”

What was a good Christian girl with aspirations to spread the word of the lord supposed to do?

Of course Nick had no trouble at all getting published… Her thoughts turned dark towards a boy she’d once cared for. Nick had been her friend in writing once upon a time. And even though she didn’t necessarily agree with the content of his novel, she supported his writing aspirations. He was the only person who believed that she had a future in writing. That had meant something to her once.

At least, she thought it did. Then her friend Holly revealed that Nick was no gentleman. He was a horrid sort who had spread filthy lies about her. Mary had ended her friendship with him then and there.

Stop thinking about him. And stop thinking about writing, as well. Those things are no longer part of your life.

Mary was home now, on her parents’ farm. She would never leave again. She would get married to a nice, Christian gentlemen (hopefully not Mr. Wilson!) and follow the lord's command to Noah to be fruitful and multiply.

She felt warmth buzz between her legs, the way she always did when she imagined procreating with her husband in furtherance of the lord’s will. It was a blessed thing to feel joy at the act of serving her heavenly father, but his grace was not meant to bring her pleasure in this manner! She **** it to go away. She could not touch that sinful place, lest she spoil herself for her future husband. It was an affront to him, and an affront to God.

She prayed for salvation from that stirring feeling as well.

Little did she know when she disappeared from her bed, she would soon receive deliverance on both counts.

“Here she is, our cute little country girl fresh from her farm, Mary Mactaggert!” Sylvia introduced her. “Her dreams of being a writer long behind her, now she’s looking for salvation! And here at 'Harem Hotel: Island Holiday Season', she’ll get all she’s looking for and more!"

Nick grimaced.

Mary looked around in confusion at the muted applause, wondering where such sound could be coming from.

“Where… where am I?” She asked. Her cute southern drawl hadn’t changed a bit since Nick had last heard it. Neither had the rest of her. Mary always wore dresses like this, frilly and fluffy ones that looked like they’d come out of a movie from the 50s or 60s, very plain and common. The only bit of accentuation to her outfit was the shine of the rosary wrapped around her neck. Her curly red hair was still cut short, and her green eyes glanced around her freckled face with trepidation. She bit her lip with her cute little overbite. Then she saw the sea.

Mary felt the warmth of the sun wash over her, and stared out at the ocean. “Is this… am I in His embrace, now?” She asked hopefully. This was indeed what she imagined heaven must be like.

Sylvia smirked. “Sorry there my girl, but no. This is about as far away from heaven as you can get, and the only person who’ll be ‘embracing’ you anytime soon is your master.”

“Ah!” Mary gasped, staring at Sylvia in horror. “What master is it you speak of? I serve only one master, our lord in heaven!”

Sylvia’s eye twitched. Maybe she hadn’t needed to get EVERY girl Nick had liked. No, calm down, you're not at fault here. Nick is. Why couldn’t he have better taste in women?

She took a second glance at Mary.

It’s the short hair. It’s definitely the short hair. Half these girls have pixie cuts. Your tastes are too obvious, Nick.

“The master I speak of is, of course, the master of your harem!” Sylvia gestured to Nick with a smirk, enjoying the way Mary’s eyes went wide with horror. “Nick here, is chosen as your… well, hmm. I suppose you don’t really know what a harem is, huh? Well, let’s put it like this. Nick here is going to become your new husband my girl, doesn’t that sound lovely?”

Mary swallowed. “H-Husband?”

“That’s right. You were just about to get married off to that fat old man at the general store, weren’t you? Well, now you get to trade up! Quite a bargain, no?”

“W-Well…” Mary had little fondness for Nick, and even before she learned what a wretched man he was, she still hadn’t considered him husband material.

But if her other option were Mr. Wilson…

“I-I suppose… I could…”

“Oh, wait, also, those other girls will be marrying him too. Sort of a big happy family, you know?”

Her words made Mary’s heart stop. She looked at the other girls. Holly, her friend, she recognized, but there were many faces she didn’t. Beautiful women in various states of dress, showing off their skin for all to see! And at the end of the row…

“F-F-Fornicators!” She screamed, rising from her seat and pointing an accusing finger at Gina. “That woman is dressed like a harlot!”

“Oh, so it’s like that, huh?” Gina growled, sitting up in her seat.

Mary turned to Sylvia, who was nearly as bad. She was showing off her thighs! “You would suggest I marry a man along with other women? Sinful behavior such as that will be punished by his wrathful hand! To suggest that a man of this age take multiple women as his wives is to blaspheme the will of the lord!”

Sylvia raised her eyebrow and smirked. Mary had turned it around! “Annoying” had turned into “absolutely freaking hilarious”.

“Oh? But doesn’t the Bible depict such things?” Sylvia asked innocently, crouching down on the stage in front of Mary. “There are countless stories of men taking multiple wives, are there not?”

Mary’s face turned redder than her hair. “That,” she mumbled, “is only in certain adaption, it is not accepted by the church!”

“Okay, and what about all the other instances of fornication and adultery, hmm?” Sylvia goaded her.

Mary clamped her hands over her ears. “I will not hear such blasphemy!” She wailed.

Sylvia rolled her eyes. And we make it back to annoying. She extended her cane and wrapped the hook of it through Mary’s rosary, lifting the cross from her slight chest with a tug. Mary stared in horror as her holy symbol was defiled.

“Let me make something clear to you, Pretty Mary Sunlight,” Sylvia said, her voice carrying even through Mary’s hands. “If you knew what awaits you moving forward… I would suggest discarding this little trinket right now. Because HE won’t be of any help to you here, my girl.”

Mary started to cry. “No,” she whispered. “If I pray to him, he will deliver me from this trial. He will-"

“He won’t do a damn thing but jerk himself off,” Sylvia hissed. “But you will. Oh yes, I can’t wait to see how you get defiled, how you’ll debase yourself, commit such wondrous acts of sin, all in the name of finally chasing your own pleasures. Yes, it’ll be-”

“Sylvia! That’s enough!” Nick shouted, leaping out of his seat and storming over to her. She whirled around and shoved the hook of her cane into his chest, pushing him back.

She clicked her tongue and shook her head, waggling her finger from side to side. “No no my boy, not yet. We haven’t finished yet. And you know who’s coming next.”

Nick slumped back into his seat. As he looked down, he caught Mary’s eyes. She mouthed “thank you” to him, and Holly offered her a handkerchief.

Sylvia was right that he knew who was next. They’d already moved past the implosion of his college life, where Holly had broken his heart, and turned his next crush against him as well. There was only one person left that he’d told the monstrous woman about.