She can't even retrieve it

Roxanne steps onto the top rope and looks up at the paddle. The pink paddle hangs down from its hook, and Roxanne reaches up to grab it and…

She can’t.

Roxanne waves her hand around and her finger tips are a couple of inches away from the handle of the paddle. She balances herself and then stands on her tippy toes, trying to use that extra height to grab the paddle. However, it’s still out of reach!

“Roxanne is too short for the paddle!” shouts Madden.

“They hung it up too high, Mark!” replies Jerry. “The staff here knows Roxanne is one of the shortest competitors wrestling today. How could they not have taken this into consideration?”

Some of the crowd even starts to laugh as Perez tries to bounce up and down on the ball of her feet but she doesn’t get any higher. All the bouncing does is cause her ass to go up and down with her as she moves. As ass and thigh meat jiggle with each hop. Finally, Roxanne seems to give up as she turns to the referee while remaining on the top rope.

“Who is responsible for this?! How am I supposed to win? This is unfair! I feel like you all are plotting against me!” she bellows. The referee doesn’t have a response, as he just shrugs his shoulders.

With a huff, Perez turns back towards the pole and the paddle. She looks up at it and tries to brainstorm. There has got to be a way to get this paddle down. She can not afford to be embarrassed by having her ass spanked by that paddle, with Lyra Valkyria being the one holding that paddle nonetheless. It’s also one thing to lose this match due to her own doing, but losing because of something she can’t control like her height would be defeating.

The crowd abruptly cheering again confuses Roxanne, but she quickly figures it out as she feels two arms wrap around her waist. Lyra Valkyria was the one playing defense now, as she ran back over, sprinted up to join Roxanne on the ropes, and locked Perez inside her arms.

Before “The Prodigy” can even have a chance to think of an escape, Lyra lifts Perez off the top rope and they both go backwards! Valkryia lets Roxanne go and they both crash hard onto the mat with that Release German suplex! The audience exploded at the move as Roxanne did a complete backflip and plopped down face first onto the mat.

Once the dust settles from the impactful attack, Roxanne is left on her stomach with her face down and ass up and Lyra lying on her back looking up at the lights.

“I could make a comment to one of the cameramen right now, but I’ll bite my tongue cause what a maneuver!” Jerry exclaimed, copying a phrase from a former broadcasting partner. “These ladies are willing to do whatever it takes to not be the loser tonight.”

Valkyria is the first to move as she uses the ropes to pull herself back up. She starts to make her way over to the paddle but then stops, and looks back over at Roxanne. Remembering the wedgie from earlier, Lyra mentally decides Roxanne deserves a little bit of **** for that. Lyra holds her lower back as she approaches and stands over the downed, unmoving Perez. “The Bird Lady” looks out at her fans, her little nestlings, in the crowd and then points at Roxanne. She then points to herself, motions at her gear, and shouts to them: top or bottom?