She asks about Agamor

Teysa swallowed. She had envisioned how this would go, carefully picked out the words to describe her crisis of faith. In the face of Mish'li's earnestness her prepared speech deserted her. She managed "It's-" before her chest hitched and she burst into tears.

Mish'li took one look at Teysa and laid an arm over her shoulders. She led her away from the kitchen, down a side passage and into a small stone chamber that looked like a penitent's cell. El'keth and Aliara followed at a respectful distance and took up positions in the hallway outside the doorway. Mish'li sat on a low stone bench and gestured for Teysa to sit next to her. Both women had to duck their heads; the ceiling was low and cramped. Besides the bench, the only furnishings in the room were a single brazier that smoldered gently and a cramped cot at one end.

"Teysa," Mish'li began. "You're safe here. What troubles you?" She handed Teysa a silk handkerchief so finely spun and intricately decorated the the paladin could barely bring herself to blow her nose on it.

Teysa sniffled as, bit by by, she regained her equilibrium. She took a deep breath and counted to three. Only then did she trust herself to speak. "It's my faith that brought me here, Mish'li," she said. "It's Agamor. I can no longer hear Him. When I pray it's like... like I'm alone. I thought of myself as a light down here in the darkness, but without Him I'm just... I'm just..." she trailed off. Her fingers knotted together in her lap. She stared at them unseeing.

Mish'li laid a hand on Teysa's. "I am so sorry, my friend. That must be an awful burden to bear. I cannot imagine being severed from Mother Lolth." She sighed. "Sadly, we do not have many Agamorian clerics here. Perhaps that will change now. But I cannot say I have ever heard of a case like this. Did it begin when you were in the City?"

Teysa dug into her memory. A deep sense of abandonment and grief welled up inside her, but she found that she could master it. Talking about this was helping, at least a little.

"I don't think so," she said carefully. "I think it was after we got back. Not immediately after, but gradually over a month. I didn't really notice it happening at first."

"Do you think it is because you are cut off from the sun? Is it the source of your power? I'm sorry, I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have to ask."

"It... it might be. I miss feeling it on my face. I miss the warmth." She swallowed. "I dream about it, sometimes. But I cannot go to the surface now. There's so much to do..."

Mish'li gave a solemn nod. "I'm sorry I can't be of more help, Teysa. I wish I had an answer for you. I will tell you that your faith, your love of God, is very clear to me. It is clear to everyone who knows you. I do not believe that Agamor has abandoned you. No God would set aside a servant so loving and devoted. The ways of God are not our ways, and sometimes they may baffle us, but we must trust in them. This will pass, Teysa, as awful as it is to endure. I am sure of it."

Teysa gave a wan smile. "You're not just saying that, are you?" she asked, half in jest. Mish'li's answering smile was as warm and genuine as any Teysa had seen. "Of course not, Teysa. You have faith in Agamor; I have faith in you." She stood. "Come, let's not keep your friends waiting."

She led them back out the way they had come. When they arrived at the great pillared entrance hallway she turned and embraced Teysa and Aliara one by one. She planted a kiss on each cheek and one on each of their foreheads. Then she turned to El'keth and gave a deep, formal curtsy.

"Will you join us for the afternoon?" Aliara asked. "We'd love to share a meal with you. Can you get away from the Basilica for a few hours?"

Mish'li frowned. "I'm afraid not. And if I may speak candidly... I am glad you've come, but you might want to keep your visit here short. The City is a safer place than it was the last time you were here, but such a measure is relative. There is... unrest, right now. I am addressing the Quorum this afternoon, actually, on that very subject."

"What is wrong?" El'keth asked. "Is it me? Is it because I am here?"

Mish'li shook her head. "No, El'keth, not... exactly. It is about your people more generally. There are still voices who say that we should have no contact with you. They are no longer proposing that we wipe you out, but to some of the older families, the driders are seen as rivals at best. They cannot destroy you so they would rather pretend you don't exist."

"But what about the revelation?" Aliara sounded personally offended. "What about all that stuff we went through? Are they just going to ignore that?"

Mish'li sighed. "They aren't ignoring it, Aliara. They freed their slaves, the Empress is gone, and they are willing to coexist with you. But too much change too fast is frightening to people-- especially the people that held all the power before. They know that our society must reform, but they'd prefer it to reform in a way that leaves everything exactly the way it was." She sounded exasperated. "Most of the Church would rather we involve ourselves as little as possible. We have our own struggles."

Aliara nodded. "Thanks for the advice. I think it might be best if we head back right away. El'keth?"

The drider looked crestfallen but nodded. "I understand, Aliara. I do not want to take unnecessary risks." She sounded glum. "I suppose there will always be time to visit later."

Aliara patted her on one knee. "Chin up," she said. "You got a taste of city life. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to enjoy it." She did not seem the least bit sad to be leaving the City early. "Come on, let's see if we can beat the rush."

Something about Mish'li's tone had left Teysa feeling uncertain. She laid a hand on the priestess's shoulder. "Mish'li," she asked, "are you sure you are up to this? All this politicking sounds exhausting."

Mish'li shrugged and smiled. "I don't much like it, but if I don't step up, who will?" Her expression grew more serious. "I joined the clergy because I felt Mother Lolth's love. I want to spread that love. Sometimes that means leading prayers. Sometimes it means feeding the destitute. Sometimes it means arguing for an hour in front a bunch of pompous windbags."

Aliara shuddered. "Better you than me," she said. "You ask me, you could do the world a lot of good by shutting the doors to the building where those old parasites meet and burning it down."

"Aliara!" Teysa tried to sound shocked. For her part, Mish'li just shrugged again. "Of course, I could never support such a wicked course of action. It would be against all of my principles." Her eyes told a different story, and Aliara chuckled.

"Sure, Mish'li." She patted the priestess on the shoulder. "All right. We have to be off. Good luck with your talk. You can yell at a stone wall for an hour afterwards, you're likely to have more of an effect."

Mish'li waved goodbye and stood watching as they crossed the plaza. As they walked, Teysa turned to Aliara. "Do you know the Quorum she talked about? The old families?"

Aliara shook her head. "Not by name. I know of them, though. Back when I was... when I lived here, sometimes we'd see the family heads. They'd come out to inspect the stock." Her voice was venomous. "It was worth your life to look up at them. Or talk to them. Most of the drow treated us like animals, but those old families, they'd treat us like things. Just... toys. They weren't careful with their toys, either." She shuddered. "I hate it here, Tey. I really do. Can we go?"

Teysa nodded. "Yes. We can get food and water in the market on the way out. El'keth, I'm sorry, I know you wanted more time, but..."

"I understand." El'keth didn't sound too upset. "I have seen wonders since arriving here. Wonders! I never imagined anything like the Basilica. I wonder why we don't build anything like that?

"Maybe you can." Aliara sounded chipper and upbeat, perhaps buoyed by the prospect of leaving. "Maybe yours will be the first. Got to start somewhere, right?"

She looped her arm around Teysa's. "Come on, Tey," she said. "Let's go home."