She Is Dead Drunk

Earnest approached Rosalind from behind, his outstretched arm reaching her shoulder. After a noticeable delay, she groggily turns around to face him. Earnest could tell by the look on her face that she was already dead drunk before she started speaking.

“Huh, what’sss… waa doo yuu wan?”

After looking at Earnest’s face for another second, she turned back to grab her drink, then faced Earnest again.

“Yuu wanna… drinkin’ contesht? I’ll drink yuu under the table! If I winnn… yuu pay fer my drinks. If you winnn… umm…

She looked away from Earnest, and stared at her mug of beer.

“Umm…”

She looked down, and seemed to notice her breasts as if she forgot that they were attached to her, and grinned mischievously.

“Ah! If yuu win, yuu can rub these!”

Rosalind placed her arm that wasn’t holding a drink under her chest and hefted her breasts upwards, showing them off to the bewildered Earnest. She saw the confused expression on Earnest’s face, and let out a girlish giggle. It was the same giggle that Earnest had heard throughout his childhood, the same melodic sound that had made him smile so many times in the past.

Earnest had never seen Rosalind this drunk before. Not so long ago, when they were seventeen, Rosalind had snuck some **** for both of them to share. Earnest had actually drunk many a drink before, as most parents in the village had no problem with their kids having weak drinks. Rosalind’s family, however, did not fall into this group, as they thought that their over energetic tomboy would go wild. This only stimulated Rosalind’s curiosity for the forbidden, which led to her breaking the rules and sneaking some **** out of her home. She could have just asked Earnest, but asking for help never even crossed her mind. To Rosalind, the only way she would get what she wanted was to do it herself.

She had acted so proud that she had pulled it off, but after the first mouthful, she had to hold back from spitting it out. She complained about how bad it tasted, and how it made her tongue burn. Earnest smugly told her that she shouldn’t keep it in her mouth, or even try to taste it too much. After a few more tries, she got the hang of it. By the end of the single bottle of beer that she brought, she kept talking about how drunk she felt. Even though this was her first experience with ****, she wasn’t a light-weight, as her body which was used to energetic daily training would require much more before actually becoming ****. Earnest knew that it was Rosalind’s excitement and expectation that had her acting drunk instead. He spent the rest of the night with his giggly friend, one that had no resemblance to the drunk woman in front of him now.

“No, no, stop that. Rosalind, are you okay? I haven’t heard from you for months. What happened to your letters?”

“Wha? Yesh, I’m fine… I’m…urp”

Rosalind quickly turned away from Earnest and proceeded to vomit onto the floor, which already wasn’t the cleanest. Earnest stepped back, as she continued to hurl. Rosalind was clearly too preoccupied to explain her current situation, so Earnest started processing the new information himself. This wasn’t the worst possible scenario, far from it in fact. Rosalind was alive, and didn’t seem to be injured, at least physically. Earnest reasoned that she was probably dealing with her dream of being a hero set back, coupled with her loss of faith in the knights. Who could stay strong after such an awful experience in the 26th squad? After what she went through, it was possible that Rosalind would turn to **** to numb herself, but this didn’t feel right to Earnest. He thought that Rosalind was stronger, more resilient than this. Back when they trained together, she would only answer challenges and failure with pure effort and tenacity.

At some point, Rosalind had finished emptying her stomach. After a couple more dry heaves, she put her arms in front of her on the table, laid her head on top of them, and passed out. Earnest looked at his weakened friend with a soft pity in his eyes. The innkeeper lady caught Earnest’s attention as she walked up to the two of them.

“I haven’t seen you around these parts before, do you know Miss knight?”

“Uh, yeah. Yes, I do.”

“She’s got a room here on the second floor. I’d be mighty appreciative it if you’d help bring her there.”

“Of course.”

Earnest maneuvered Rosalind into position, then slung her over his shoulder. Her scent was a subtle mix of the smell of her hair, overpowered by the stench of **** and stomach acid. He was used to doing this with drunk knights, as he had celebrated many times with his comrades, but he had never imagined that this skill would come in handy with Rosalind. The innkeeper looked at Earnest, impressed with his move.

“I could tell that you were pretty strong just by lookin’ at you, but wow, you can really handle a lady!”

The innkeeper laughed at her own joke, as she began to lead the way to the staircase. As Earnest followed the innkeeper and crossed the floor with Rosalind on his shoulder, he heard a couple uncreative jokes directed at them coming from a group of men at one table.

“Careful with ‘er lad! She’s one of the few good looking ones left!”

“Hehehe, yeah, careful with ‘er! She might break your pelvis, hehehe!”

Earnest ignored them as he continued following behind the innkeeper, passing the table of women. They all shared the same condescending look as they gawked at Rosalind being carried away. One of them said something that Earnest didn’t catch, and the ladies shared snickers amongst themselves, surely laughing at Earnest and Rosalind’s expense.

Earnest had to use some of the energy that he had conserved in order to lift Rosalind up the stairs. Even though he never slacked on his training, Rosalind herself had the physique and musculature to beat several recruits during the knight’s test, recruits that would end up in better squads than her.

After he finished ascending the stairs, Earnest passed a couple of doors before the innkeeper produced a ring of keys and unlocked a room near the end of the hall. The interior beyond the doorway was unlit, and Earnest could only see a little from the light spilling in from the hallway, but there wasn’t much to see. It was a tiny room, with only a bed, cabinet, and chest as furniture. In the dimness, he could make out a candle holder and book on top of the cabinet, as well as a sheathed sword leaned against the side.

Earnest carefully laid her atop the bed. Thankfully the bed wasn’t made and the sheets were pushed to one side. He pulled them over Rosalind’s **** form, listening to her loud, slow breathing. He watched her for a moment, unsure what to do, then turned to look at the innkeeper.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you young man. I usually need help to bring her up here, so I should be thanking you. Come, I’ll treat you to a drink and meal on the house! Tell me about yourself and where you come from while you’re at it!”

“Thank you for your generosity.”

Earnest followed the innkeeper out of Rosalind’s room, closing the door behind him.