She Already Said "No"

Lil'esh led Aliara through winding corridors to the periphery of the warren. Even now, after having lived here for months, Aliara occasionally found herself lost. She had an excellent sense of direction, especially underground, but there was something unnerving about the mirror-smooth walls. These caves were clearly unnatural, but there were no tool marks or artificial stonework like in dwarven delves or drow mines. The only thing that kept the tunnels from being completely featureless were the occasional speliotherms or rock formations that the driders had preserved: clusters of delicate helictites, curtains of flowstone, needle-like frostwork or humps of glossy moonmilk. Seeing these little formations touched Aliara in a way she couldn’t quite define. They reminded her of art hung on a human's wall, or perhaps sculptures in a garden. The driders had worked around them with the utmost care, but they never paused to admire the beauty of their home. Perhaps they had just preserved these formations on instinct, knowing that there was something special about them that had to be protected but unable to articulate what it was.

Such things sat uneasily on Aliara's mind. They hinted at an inner life among the driders that she had so far found lacking. The Matron was obviously intelligent, but it was a cool, chilly sort of intelligence. Aliara knew well enough that erudite sophistication meant nothing by itself; some of the worst monsters she'd ever known were well-read and polite. El'keth was a lot nicer, and there was that weird Jy'ven...

Aliara stared at the back of Lil'esh's head as she walked. She had a pretty good idea of what was going on there, but she had no idea how to bring it up with the drow woman, nor even what she'd say if she did. And it wasn't her business anyways.

She was aware that her thoughts were meandering. It was self-defense, she supposed. She really wasn't looking forward to this. She'd seen the drow refugees, and while to Teysa one drow looked pretty much like another, Aliara could tell the subtle differences: the way they carried themselves, their tone and cadence. These were nobles and priestesses, the cream of drow society.

Maybe the cream. Other things rose to the top, too.

Aliara would never love the drow, but just now, it was hard not to feel a bit sorry for them. They had all clearly suffered terribly, not just Mish'li. More importantly, they had two legs. Right now, Aliara needed all the humanoid solidarity she could get. The drow were bad, but at least they were a known quantity. The driders… whatever pact Teysa had made with them was apparently still in effect, but it was hard to feel protected by such an ephemeral shield.

The "granary" was a bit misnamed, since the sunless bedrock of the warren couldn't grow grain. Instead the driders harvested lichen and fungus, drying it in strips and storing it in a cool, dry cave. They mostly ate meat—the fresher the better—but the fungus supplemented their diet and kept them going when times were lean. Near the granary were a series of connected caves, like beads on a string. From what Aliara had heard, the driders had experimented a few years back with a "fungus farm," setting aside some space for it to grow and visiting the crops to keep them pest-free and clean. The project had fallen apart, not because the fungus didn't grow, but because the driders couldn't be bothered to keep up with it. They were carnivores, not farmers, and they rarely had two-legged servants to help them out.

Aliara wasn't sure if Lil'esh had chosen this spot for her people deliberately, or if it had just been convenient, but it was a shrewd choice either way. The caves had fresh water and plenty of flat space. They were fairly warm, a necessity this far underground. Parts of the warren were heated via geothermal pools or cunningly wrought fissures that channeled the volcanic heat far below, but others were kept frigid (the driders barely seemed to notice extremes of temperature). Most importantly, these caves were far from the center of the warren and not trafficked frequently. Even so, as they approached, Aliara and Lil'esh saw a couple of driders lounging around outside the threshold. Aliara struggled to remember their names: even after all this time, she had a hard time telling some of the driders apart.

Lil'esh didn't even break stride. "Yi'resh!" she said. "And Ku'lyn. How are you doing?" Her voice was full of ****, brittle cheerfulness, and Aliara had to take a couple running steps to catch up with her stride as she picked up the pace.

The smaller of the two driders gave Lil'esh what seemed like a quizzical look. The other one crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Aliara didn't recognize her, exactly, but she knew her type: one of the Matron's guards, a "soldier.” Her face was as blankly beautiful as her sisters, but her arms were corded with muscle. She wore a chain shirt and a skirt of plates where the other drider wore nothing at all. She had not brought her spear with her, but Aliara knew that was hardly meaningful. A drider was strong enough to tear her in half with her bare hands if she wanted to. This one wasn't threatening them, but there was something menacing in her casual, almost insolent pose. She stared down at Aliara and Lil'esh, expressionless.

"What brings you out here?" Lil'esh asked. Yi'resh waved her hands in the air, producing a cluster of sparks that hung there for a moment like lightning bugs before fading.

{we were curious. we heard that the outsiders/cousins/wayward ones had come in ****.} The translation magic was imperfect and buzzed in Aliara’s ears like a gathering headache, but the meaning was clear enough.

"They're here, yes. They've also been through a lot. We'd like to talk to them."

{we shall not interfere. they are the matron's guests.}

"We'd like to talk to them alone." This time Lil'esh put a note of warning into her tone. Yi'resh seemed taken aback. She looked from Lil'esh to Aliara, then nodded.

{of course. we will withdraw.}

She scuttled away. For a moment, it looked like Ku'lyn wouldn't follow her, but then she peeled herself off the wall and strode off. Her pace was languid, almost insultingly slow, but soon enough her ticking footsteps faded away.

"This is what I was worried about," Lil'esh said as the two of them made their way into the first cave. "They've been through enough. They don't need to be made to feel like... like zoo animals."

"I thought you didn't care much for your family?" Aliara asked, laughing a little to try and break the tension. "That boy you were supposed to marry? Can't be that much fun having them show up like this."

Lil'esh wheeled on her, so suddenly that Aliara had to pull up short. "They're my people, Aliara! They might be all that's left of my people! Of course I care about them! I would do anything for them!"

"Ok!" Aliara threw up her hands defensively. "Ok, I'm sorry! I misspoke. Look, I'm with you here." She tried her best disarming smile. "Us two-legged types have to stick together, right?"

"Right." Lil'esh's eyes were narrowed and her mouth set in a grim, implacable line. "Right. Look, this can't be easy for you either—”

"Forget it." Aliara put her hands on her hips. "I'm a professional. I can do difficult. Just... you do the talking, ok?"

Instead of answering, Lil'esh held up a hand. Aliara looked around bewildered for a moment, then she saw them.

Drow huddled in all the corners of the room, wrapped in dirty grey and brown cloaks that made them seem like part of the floor. They unfolded at the sight of Lil'esh and turned their pleading faces upwards towards her. There were only a dozen or so in here, but Aliara could see movement in the cave beyond, and beyond that, and beyond that...

They approached slowly and formed a semi-circle around Aliara and Lil'esh. They simply stood and stared. There was something terrible in their expressions, a kind of glazed horror that Aliara had rarely seen before. She tried to remind herself that these were drow nobility, about as nasty a pit of vipers as you'd be able to find anywhere in the Underneath. Try as she would, the mental image she had would not line up with the haggard and miserable reality all around her.

More of them drifted into the room from the far caves, filling in behind the ones already there. Aliara lost count at fifty, and there were more coming in all the time. She hadn't realized how many of them there were. They weren't all drow, either. A few humans and dwarves were mixed in among the elvish faces, but they looked as lost and forlorn as their companions.

Lit'vi was front and center. She had one arm wrapped protectively around Je'lyn, who looked like she had been crying. Someone had found Je'lyn a heavy robe, which swaddled her nearly from head to toe. Both of them stared up at their sister: Je'lyn in undisguised hope, Lit'vi with a more clouded expression. Lil'esh clambered up onto a flat stone and waved her arms over her head for attention. A hush fell over the crowd, leaving an expectant silence hanging in the air.

"People!" Lil'esh began. She had a good voice for this: rich, sonorous, she projected well without shouting herself hoarse. Her back was straight, her head high. She had started well, too... "people," instead of "my people," which would have sounded arrogant and presumptuous.

All this passed through Aliara's mind in a second. She evaluated situations quickly. This one was making her feel better about putting the burden of leadership on Lil'esh.

"You are safe here," Lil'esh continued. "I want you to know that first and foremost. I don't know what's happened in the City, but I will find out. Until then, you are safe here. I can promise you that."

Not really a promise you're in a position to make, Aliara thought. But maybe this was what the refugees needed to hear right now. They'd deal with the fallout later.

"I will make sure you are safe," Lil'esh said, "but I will not lie to you. It'll be hard. The driders are not used to feeding and housing so many. We will have to work, all of us, to make this place habitable. If you're looking for cozy apartments, you won't find them. We'll have to make these caves habitable. We can trade with the dwarves for food for now, but the driders are not rich. I know that some of you have spirited your riches out of the City. You will have to part with them."

That set off an angry murmur in the crowd. Before it could develop further, Lil'esh reached up and unbuttoned her cloak. It had been fastened with a silver brooch in the form of a spider. She took this and let the cloak fall to the ground. Beneath it, she wore a simple silk tunic. She rolled up one sleeve, revealing an intricate golden torc, which she slipped loose and held out like an offering.

"These are my treasures. I'll ask nothing of you that I won't give up myself. But survival must take precedence above all else. We agree on that, don't we?"

That got a more positive reaction. But the crowd was still restive. A drow in the back shouted: "What about our elderly? Our sick? They can't sleep here!"

Lil'esh looked thrown for a moment, but rallied well. "I will... give up my own room to those who need it most. I will stay here with you." She smiled. "But you're right, Rovven. Je'lyn is in a fragile state right now. She should be attended to in her own bed, not sleeping on a stony floor. She can have my room."

At this, Je'lyn's lip trembled again, and her eyes grew watery. Lit'vi pulled her close and whispered something in her ear.

"That's fine for your family," another voice said, "but there's more of us tired and hungry and hurt! Where are our rooms?"

"Tia'rey, that's enough!" shouted a matronly drow woman. "We have no place to go! She's taking us in, the least we could do is be grateful?"

"She's not doing anything!" replied the first speaker, a whip-thin drow woman with high cheekbones, dangling silver hoop earrings and a shaved head. Her voice was high and reedy. "It's the driders! She's just dancing to their tune! Who knows why they let us in. Hungry, no doubt."

"If you are uncomfortable here, nobody will **** you to stay," Lil'esh replied, her tone light and breezy. "I've been here for months, and no harm has befallen me. You don't have to take my word for it, though. Aliara has been here even longer. She even had the chance to leave, and came back." She gestured down at Aliara, who froze up.

She could feel dozens of pairs of eyes on her, crawling over her skin. She hated that feeling. It reminded her forcefully of her time in the pens, when the masters would come looking for bodies and slaves who had learned to survive shrank back and willed themselves invisible...

Instead, she **** herself to wave a little. A whisper began to ripple through the crowd, starting off faint but gaining strength as it went.

Aliara, they murmured to each other. The Goddess-Touched. The chosen.

The gazes remained, but they were more awed than appraising. Somehow, that was almost worse.

Lil'esh must have sensed her unease. Or perhaps she just didn't like sharing the limelight. She waved her arms above her head to get the crowd's attention. "The driders are strange, yes," she said. "But they're not hostile. They want to be better. I've seen it myself. This is an opportunity for us. They'll help us, but we can help them, too! They could be allies, maybe even--"

She trailed off. The crowd was staring up at her in polite incomprehension. Some, like the wiry Tia'rey, were not even bothering to hide their distaste. Lil'esh cleared her throat and crossed her arms.

"In any case, I vouch for them, and so does Aliara. And I don't think we have a choice. But just know that you're safe here, and we're not going to let anything happen to you. We're going to take the City back. I promise."

Aliara half-expected applause. Lil'esh certainly did from the look on her face. But the people filling this tiny chamber were too beaten down and traumatized for that. They stared at her politely until it became clear that there wasn't going to be any more speech, then they began to disperse.

Lil'esh hopped off her stone and turned to Aliara. "Was that good?" she asked. "I should have prepared something."

"I thought I told you I didn't like attention?" Aliara asked. "You put me on the spot there."

"You said you didn't do speeches. And you didn't have to." Lil'esh shook her head. "But they're not going to ignore you, Aliara. You're a symbol to them. I don't think you realize how potent a symbol."

"The Chosen? What the hell is that? I didn't ask for any of this, Lil'esh. I don't even worship your Goddess. I don't want to be a symbol. I want to be a person."

"I don't think it's up to you," Lil'esh said. "Sorry, but that's the way it is. You may not worship Lolth, but she spoke to you. Didn't she? I mean, even for the layperson, that's a major thing."

"She spoke to Teysa. I was just... there," Aliara protested. She let it go at that. She was never, ever going to tell anyone the full story.

"You were there, though. Look, these people aren't especially pious, but after a cataclysm like this, everyone needs a little divine intervention. And seriously... the Goddess manifested herself to you. Don't play that down, even if you aren't comfortable thinking about what it means."

"Fine. But I'm not going to bless people's meals or anything. Lil'esh, I'm not a good role model. You can't put all that on me. It's not fair. You can't make me responsible for these people's safety."

"Why not? Someone has to be." Lil'esh shrugged. "But, fine. I won't pressure you. You have enough on your mind as it is."

"Speaking of, what now?" Aliara asked. "I mean... what are you going to do now?"

"There's a lot of work to do here," Lil'esh said. "I need to actually collect up people's valuables, or they'll hide them. That'll be a challenge. Then we need to organize a trip to the market, buy food, assign living spaces... treat people's wounds, appoint some local leaders... my people do best with hierarchy, and we need to rebuild that as soon as we can."

"That all feels like a bandage on a severed limb," Aliara replied. "I mean, I'm sure they can stay here short-term, but this isn't a place for people. You know that as well as I do. I don't care what the driders want to be. You have to deal with them as they are, and what they are is predators. At any moment the Matron may decide that she's sick of dead meat and she wants a broodmother with a bit of wiggle in her. Is that what you want for your people?" She knew she should stop, but something impelled her to go on: "For your sister?"

She didn't have to specify which one. Lil'esh's eyes flickered to Je'lyn, who was being gently helped up from her seat by two older drow women. When Lil'esh looked back, her face was a mask.

"You could make your point a bit less graphically, Aliara," she said woodenly. "I think you're wrong about them, but even if you weren't, they're not an immediate threat. Lord Lockh is. So unless you have a better idea?"

"I do, as it happens," Aliara said. She brought her fist down into her palm with a slap that made Lil'esh jump. "War council. Don't get too comfortable here, we can take back your City. We take the fight to them! We're always going to be outnumbered in pitched battle. If we wait for them to reform, we're dead meat. We can get a strike team together, slip into the City and cut Lockh's throat. End of problem." She produced a dagger from her belt and began tossing it up and catching it without looking. "I don't care what kind of weird magic he has, he bleeds the same as the rest of you." She reveled in the look of mingled horror and disgust that crossed Lil'esh's face. "Come on, what kind of drow is against a little ****? That's basically a sport for you people, isn't it?"

"I know you're stressed," Lil'esh said with quiet, brittle politeness. "And I know some people like to joke when they're stressed to blow off steam. So I won't hold this flippancy against you. But try to remember that you're talking about innocent people's lives. You may not like us, but is it too much to ask that you not kick us while we're down?"

Aliara deflated. All at once, the exhaustion and despair she'd been pushing back for hours rushed in on her, and her vision went grey. "I'm sorry," she said in a voice like lead. "I don't... I can't... I'm sorry, Lil'esh. I promise you, I'm taking this seriously. But all this horror, it's too much. It's too much!" She choked out a bark that was half laugh, half sob. "I thought that once we got back from the city, Tey and I might have earned our happily ever after. But there's never any happily ever after, is there? There isn't even any after. It never ends."

She felt something resting on her shoulder, and looked up. Lil'esh was standing close to her now, closer than she'd ever been. Wordlessly, Aliara let the drow woman enfold her in a hug. She smelled odd, like camphor spice and wet stone. Aliara just stood there and let herself be hugged until Lil'esh drew back.

"Thank you," the drow said, and Aliara couldn't figure out what she was being thanked for. She said nothing.

"Actually, a war council isn't a bad idea," Lil'esh continued. "We do need to strike back at some point. And you're right, a small team has a better chance of accomplishing something than an army. But my people need to be settled in, too, even if it's just for the short term. Which do you want to do first?"