She'll do it herself (end)

Well there really was no other way was there, Texas would have to do it herself! Unfortunately with her hands and feet currently restrained, the only way she could annoy the massive cow was something she'd preferred not to, but she really didn't have a choice in the matter. She took a few moments to steel herself mentally for what she was about to expose herself to, then when she was as far from Caramel's vile crack as possible she'd open wide and chomp the cow's blubbery butt. Her felt like it was on fire as her taste buds violently rebelled against the hideous flavor they had just been exposed to, the cow's rear hadn't been washed in ages it seemed.

"MMOOOO!" Caramel let a loud angry moo at the sudden stinging sensation around her rear and as Texas predicted she lashed out with her tail, but perhaps Texas should've thought about this plan for a bit longer, because while Caramel did snap the rope doing this, her tail then whipped Texas hard, promptly leaving her in the same state as many an overeager horsefly, flattened against the cow's butt. Texas could barely move and whenever she did Caramel's tail would smack her again, leaving her even less three-dimensional than before each time.

The next day Caramel's backside would grace the front page of the local paper, "LOCAL COW SETS NEW 'MOST NOSY INVESTIGATORS ON ONE ASS' RECORD" the headline read, Jacks would have the people lining up to see her prize cow. Guests could pay extra to tickle Caramel's rear to get her to smack one of the squashed nuisances or to feed her from a selection of beans, cheese and prunes. This would be a nice addition to the income of her criminal enterprise, which likewise blossomed with no do-gooders around.

THE END