Seven

Sarah got the real lucky number and took the cat piece. Joe read Mike's "undead" card as it sat alone in the discard pile.

"So these cards have some fancy flavor text, huh? They must be building some kind of narrative or something. Does the manual still have the game's story?"

"It's a test of human souls," breathed Mike. "The unworthy are not fit to return to the mundane world, and must be culled to nourish their superiors."

Joe stared at Mike like he had just grown wings. After several seconds of silence he covered his mouth and doubled over, snorting with laughter.

"Mike," he said, "that's the funniest thing you've said all week."

Mike did not change his expression. He looked back to Sarah, his eyes following her smooth, lean hand to the draw pile. She drew her card, opened her mouth, then furrowed her brow in incredulity.

"What's wrong?" asked Joe.

She looked from the card to her coworkers with a telling grimace, then finally read aloud:

"You've got a body that would make men pounce / But to show it off, you've got to bounce, bounce bounce! / Don't stop bouncing, it's so much fun / to be a bouncy, fluffy cuddlebun."

Joe sniggered while Mike didn't so much at flinch.

"I realized an old board game like this could be so modern with its misogyny," said Sarah, as she began to tap her feet.

"If it makes you feel any better, we could have drawn that card too," said Joe.

"I guess," said Sarah.

She stood up to stretch, bouncing on her heels as she shook out her arms.

"It still sounds so demeaning. Even if I hadn't drawn it, I wouldn't want to hear it."

Joe nodded sympathetically before picking up the dice. Before he could roll, he was distracted by a tiny little "drip." He looked up and saw Mike, still motionless, still staring at Sarah, but with warm drool running over his thin, dry lips.

"Uh, Mike? You okay, buddy?"

Mike turned his head robotically towards Joe.

"Never been better..."

Joe's brow furrowed. Before he could think of a follow-up question, Sarah interrupted with a note of panic in her voice.

"Guys? Guys?! I... I can't stop jumping!"

Joe and Mike turned their heads and, sure enough, Sarah was hopping in place, at least once per second.

"Hey, what's wrong?" said Joe.

He stood up to try and hold Sarah down, but when he tried to put his hands on her, she leapt back quicker than a grasshopper. As she continued to bounce, Mike's eyes followed her up and down. Each hop made her breasts jiggle slightly beneath her business casual top.

"Calm down," said Joe, even as the breast jiggles started to distract him as well, "just take a few deep breaths, and..."

"Nggh!"

Sarah doubled over. Her shoes suddenly felt like they were slicing through her toes.

"My feet! Too tight!"

She rushed to pull off her shoes, tripped, and ended up on her hands and knees. Joe tried help her up, and for his trouble he barely dodged a kick to the face, as Sarah bunny-hopped across the floor.

Mike took a step towards Sarah, maybe the first step he had taken since his turn. He had been eyeballing her breasts like pieces of chicken, and now he was ogling her ass like a juicy steak. To him, she looked and smelled like a piece of meat. His self-control was wavering.

Sarah finally managed to kick off her shoes, then her toenails made quick work of her socks, and a pair of big, hairy feet were finally breathing the night air. The wind was both refreshing and scary, as in the blur of motion it told her far more than she wanted to know, while telling her nothing at all. She couldn't give words to anything that was happening, but she could feel the air against the fur that was now growing out of every pore of her skin, the whiskers poking through her lip, and the ears stretching over her head, as she hop-hop-hopped. The only thing the wind didn't tell her was that a cottontail was raising a lump above the seat of her pants.

Joe could barely see what was happening, but he could tell something was seriously wrong with Sarah.

"Stay calm," he said, "I'll get help..."

Before he could leave, however, Mike pounced at Sarah and grabbed her by the hips, digging his claws into her hide. He bared his fangs and attempted to sink his teeth into Sarah's rear end.

Joe just barely managed to tackle him in time, allowing Sarah to hop free, but Mike quickly recovered and threw Joe into the wall.

"The card..." said Sarah, between hops, "the words... they became real!"

"What?! What are you talking about?!"

Joe rubbed his sore back as he got back to his feet. As he processed what Sarah had said, he came to the same conclusion. Body, bounce, cuddlebun... it sounded so stupid, but it literally described what happened to her.

"Wait... but what about..."

He looked again at Mike's discarded card. Spread your wings and become undead.

Mike snarled at Joe, then literally flew through the air, as Joe just barely dodged out of the way, landing at the foot of the table they had been playing on. Sarah continued to bound across the floor like a rubber ball.

Joe stood up. The board sat upon the table, with no indication that it had caused any of the things happening in that room. That said, if it was the cause, then the only thing he could think of that might undo everything was...

He picked up the dice and tossed them onto the board.