Self Maid Romance

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!*

Peter groaned as he reached out for his alarm clock, groggily turning it off before letting out a yawn. Throwing the covers off him, and revealing his Spider-Man briefs, the twenty-two year old sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes before reaching for his glasses.

"Good morning, Master Williams." A female voice with a British accent greeted.

"Morning..." Peter moaned in reply as he placed his glasses onto his face. Half a second later, his eyes widened as he turned to his left to see a blue eyed brunette woman his age dressed in a French maid outfit and standing next to his bed with a friendly smile.

Peter yelled and practically jumped out of bed, grabbing a pillow and covering up his embarrassing underwear. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"

"Terribly sorry for not knocking, Sir." The Woman apologized, "Your door was open and I wanted to inform you that your morning bath is ready and waiting for you."

"... Uh, okay. Let's try that again." Peter said, still mortified but trying to calm down. "Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?"

"Ah, I see that it seems that you don't remember. Allow me to explain." The Woman said before clearing her throat and giving a polite bow. "I am Elizabeth Cadbury, your maid and butler, Master Williams."

"... My maid and butler?!" Peter asked in shock, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry, there must be some kind of mistake here. I live in a one bedroom apartment on the salary of a pizza delivery guy to pay my way through college. I can't afford a maid and/or -"

"Oh, of course not, Sir. My services are free of charge." Elizabeth replied with a smile. At Peter's confused expression, she cleared her throat again. "You see, Master Williams, I am not an ordinary maid or butler. You summoned me."

"I... I 'what'?!"

"When you purchased and brought home that golden coin from your trip to the comic book convention the other day, Master Williams," Elizabeth explained as she pointed to the coin in question, "you summoned me to be your faithful and loyal maid and butler who will serve at your beck and call with anything and everything you need. Within reason, of course..." She gave a small musical giggle, "I'm afraid I'm not a genie, Sir."

"... Yeah, I'm calling the cops." Peter stated flatly.

"Ah, quite. I had a feeling you wouldn't believe me, Master Williams." Elizabeth replied as she placed a hand to her chin in thought. A second later, she snapped her fingers as a smile came to her face. "How about a little sport? You ask me one question about yourself, something only you would know the answer to. If I get it wrong, I shall leave and never return. If my answer is correct, I stay. Deal?"

Peter looked skeptically at this woman, arching an eyebrow as he looked her up and down. This woman didn't seem familiar to him at all, so there was no way she would no anything about him. He had nothing to lose!

"Okay, then..." Peter said with a nod as he thought. Half a second later, he smiled as he found the perfect question. "When I was younger, I involuntarily did something embarrassing until I reached a certain age that was considered too old to be doing it. What was it and how old was I when I stopped?"

Elizabeth frowned a bit as she put a finger to her chin. "Blimey! That is a sticky wicket. I'm not sure of the answer."

"Thought so. Now, if you would be so kind as to -"

"Are you referring to you wetting the bed until you were ten, or when you stopped sucking your thumb at eighteen?"

Peter's eyes went wide in shock as his jaw dropped, the young man dropping the pillow once more as he once again exposed his Spider-Man briefs to this woman.

"I'll take the gobsmacked expression as meaning that either would've worked." Elizabeth said with a chuckle. "Now then, I am afraid that your bath isn't getting any warmer, Master Williams. Will you be taking it before or after breakfast?"

Peter looked at his bathtub as he tried to wrap his mind around what happened, the tub filled to the brim with warm water and bubbles. Still lost in thought, Peter hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his briefs, pulling them down and off before slipping into the bath, exposing his plump ass and four and a half inches of glory to the world before submerging in the water. He had to admit, this did feel rather nice...

"Shall I take your knickers to the utility room, Master Williams?"

Peter yelped in shock and embarrassment as he sat up in the tub, his face burning bright red as he saw Elizabeth in the doorway with that same friendly smile. "H-how long have you been standing there?!"

"Not too long, Sir." Elizabeth replied as she walked into the bathroom and scooped up the discarded briefs with one hand. "Is there anything else I can help you with? Perhaps I can help scrub your back for you?"

"Uh... I..."

**RING! RING!**

"Ah, that would be my mobile. Someone is giving me a bell." Elizabeth said as she turned to Peter. "I shall be but a moment, Master Williams."

And with that, Elizabeth walked out of the bathroom with Peter's underwear still in her hand, leaving the mortified and stunned young man in the tub.

Just outside the bathroom, Elizabeth reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, pressing a button to answer it. "Hello. To whom am I -"

"Hey, Lizzie! How goes the convoluted and over complicated plan to try and seduce my nerdy twin brother?"

Elizabeth donned a look of terror as she clutched the phone to her chest and ran towards the kitchen, stopping next to the fridge as she frowned and put the phone to her ear again.

"Sam! That was not freaking funny!" Elizabeth hissed into the phone, dropping the British accent entirely. "What if Peter had heard you say that?! You could've blown my cover!"

"Lizzie, your cover is that you're a magical British maid/butler that was summoned from a junky coin my brother bought at Comic Con." Sam said over the other end with a laugh. "Pete isn't stupid. He's gonna figure out the plot sounds like something from one of those comedy animes he watches, whether I tell him or not."

"I know he isn't, Sam." Elizabeth said with a sigh, "I could tell that he was still skeptical after I told him the story and answered that question about him. By the way, thanks for the info about him."

"Wait, which one did he ask? It wasn't about him wetting the bed until he was ten or sucking his thumb until he was eighteen, was it? He'll kill me when he finds out where you got that information!"

"Sorry."

"Ugh!" Sam groaned. "What I don't get is why you can't be normal and be like, 'Hey, Peter. I'm a friend of your sister that she met at her work. She's told me so much about you, and I'd like to get to know you myself. Wanna go out?'? What is so wrong with that?"

"I told you, I don't want him thinking I'm making fun of him." Elizabeth replied. "You told me yourself that he was bullied senselessly by those girls all through highschool because they considered him a colossal," she sighed blissfully and smiled at the Spider-Man briefs still in her hand, "nerd. I mean, when you told me he was nerdy, he was already a ten. But glasses? Anime and action figures on his shelf? Superhero undies?! You tell me he plays D&D, and I'm gonna have to call my dad to hire a priest and book a church while Mom and I go dress shopping!"

"Lizzie, I - Wait. You saw his underwear? Already?"

"As well as that plump and juicy ass and his gorgeous -"

"STOP! I don't wanna think about my brother naked!" Sam shouted. Taking a deep breath, she began again. "Lizzie, I get it. He's your type, and I want both you two to be happy. But don't you think putting on this whole facade is going to snowball out of control?"

"Oh, relax. I know what I'm doing." Elizabeth assured.

"You mean like how you knew what you were doing last week when you tried to remove a pest from the walls that resulted in half the office being coated in tomato sauce in the parking lot?"

"I swear I thought it was an oddly colored raccoon!" Elizabeth snapped defensively before taking a breath. "But I know this time is different. All I can hope for is that we bond and connect enough so he doesn't care after he figures everything out."

"... I trust you, Lizzie. I think you might be the biggest idiot I ever met, but I trust you enough to know what your doing." Sam said with a sigh. "By the way, where's Peter now?"

"Oh, I just drew him a bubble bath and offered to scrub his back."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sam?"

"Correction. I know you are the biggest idiot I have ever met." Sam said before hanging up.

Elizabeth shrugged before placing the phone back into her purse. After making a quick trip to the laundry room to drop off Peter's briefs, she cleared her throat as she returned to the bathroom were the young man was laying back, hiding himself with the bubbles.

"Sorry about that, Master Williams." Elizabeth said with a smile, adopting the British accent again. "It was me Mum sending her love. Now then, would you like me to scrub your back, Sir?"