See how they’re doing

“I suppose we should. We wouldn’t be very good chaperones, otherwise.”

It goes without saying that Jimmy and Clarice most likely just lost their virginity while under your watch, so your status as “World’s Best Chaperone” is about as valid as your title of “Most Likely to Become a Priest.”

You and Deanna stand and try your best to straighten out your clothes. As you suspected, you are going to have to pay an extra cleaning charge when you return your tux. The wet sticky spot on the front of your pants is not going to be classified as “ordinary wear and tear.”

The two of you approach the car and listen cautiously for activity. The only sounds you hear are some whispering and heavy breathing.

“Everything ok in there?” Deanna asks, tapping on one of the fog-covered windows.

“Um…. Yes… Don’t open the door!” says Clarice. A sudden flurry of activity in the back seat tells you that the two enamored teens are scrambling to find their hastily-discarded clothing.

You and Deanna exchange knowing looks and smiles. “Relax,” you say. “Your secret is safe with us. We just wanted to make sure everything is ok.”

After a few moments in which you hear some whispered conversation back and forth between the two, Jimmy speaks up and says, “Um… You wouldn’t happen to have any more of the — um — of what you handed me earlier, would you?”

You tell him to check the glove compartment, where you know there are more than enough condoms for whatever the young Romeo has in mind.

“I think they’re about to become occupied again,” you tell Deanna. “If we’re going to have the push pause, we’re going to have to do it now. I think we might have unleashed a monster.”

As if on cue, Clarice emits a low moan, and the car resumes its rhythmic rocking motion.

“That horny little turd!” Deanna says, half in surprise and half with admiration. “And twice in one night! That’s rather impressive.”

“You call it impressive. I call it a light warm-up before the big event,” you say. “Not to brag or anything, but two condoms is rarely enough to get me through foreplay.”

“And that’s not bragging?” Deanna asks, mockingly.

“That’s just truth in advertising,” you respond. Looking back at the car, you say, “And since we have some time to kill….”

Before you can complete your thought, Deanna’s phone rings. She looks at it and frowns before answering. “Hi, Mom.”

As Deanna talks to her mother, you sigh and try to prepare yourself. This wouldn’t be the first time that the mood gets killed by a parent’s untimely interruption. When Deanna hangs up, you look at her expectantly.

“That was my mom,” she explains unnecessarily. “She reminded me that I promised to have Jimmy home by midnight. I didn’t realize how late it was.”

You look at your watch and see that she’s already blown that deadline by half an hour.

“So as much as I’d like to kill some more time with you,” she continues, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to take us back to the school to get my car.”

The two of you turn toward your car just in time to see the rocking motion intensify. On cue, Clarice’s voice can be heard coming from the back seat. “YES!!! Oh that’s so—- Yes!!! No, don’t pull out!!!”

You and Deanna exchange smirks. She asks, “Do you think you can drive with that going on in the back seat?”