Security Guardian Angel

"Hey, Creepo!" Dana called out as she approached Gus, the man turning to see the topless security guard walking up to him with a glower.

"Well, well." Gus said, creepily eyeing Dana up and down. "Not that Ah don't enjoy this 'ere view or nothin', but ya'll don't honestly expect me to take ya back after ya went and stabbed me in the back, do ya?"

"I stabbed you in the back?! You almost got me killed by a pack of gorillas!" Dana snapped, jabbing a finger into Gus' chest. "Yeah, those two humiliated me, but you almost got me killed! And for what?! Just so you can get a picture of some girl's ass?! Like you can't get that online already?!"

"Firstly, don't put ya paws on me when ya'll smell like an outhouse caught on fire!" Gus said as he pushed Dana's hand away. "Second, any cook will tell ya that ya'll need to break a few eggs if'n ya'll want a make a hamlet."

"That's an omelet, you moron!"

"And third of all, Ah've been thinkin' about the deal and, to be blunt, why in tarnation would I want pictures of a bimbo with admittedly gorgeous honkers when she's got a fat ass, covered in tattoos of kids cartoon characters, and a face that looks like a mule's ass?!"

"He did not..." Cassie whispered.

"Oh, he did." Steven replied, "Which made what happened next very amusing."

Dana stared wide eyed at Gus for several seconds before giving him a **** glare that would have turned Medusa to stone. "Okay, this argument was just a distraction so that those two could get away from you, but now you went and made it personal!"

Before Gus could even react, Dana balled her fist and swung, punching Gus in the groin so hard the yokel dropped to his knees with a high-pitched squeal while he dropped his phone.

"Ooh... I felt that." Steven said, cringing slightly.

"Me too. And I don't even have the right equipment for it." Mary commented.

"Run!" Dana yelled at the two, as she delivered a judo chop to Gus while the man was staggering to his feet.

Not needing to be told twice, Steven and Mary bolted past the two as they came to the gate, Steven helping Mary over before the two landed on the other side.

"What about you?!" Mary called out.

"I'll be fine!" Dana replied as she placed Gus in a cloverleaf, "Just go!"

"Come on, Mary! We got to get through the museum before the sun rises!" Steven exclaimed.

Steven and Mary nodded as they bolted across the street, knowing that the natural history museum would be their next stop.

Back at the golf course, a nineteen year old man in a police officer's uniform and a name tag reading "Sam" was patrolling the grounds, having gotten a report about a couple of streakers on the course. The man came to a stop as he spotted a pair of torn, black pants, cringing slightly at the awful smell coming coming from them.

Bending down to investigate, Sam checked the pockets as he found a phone and a wallet. Opening the latter, his eyes went wide.

"Dana?!"

"Uncle! Uncle!" Gus choked as Dana placed him in a sleeper hold.

"I know I have you this time!"

"Crap!" Dana cursed silently, letting Gus go. "I'll let him take care of you for now! But first..."

To Gus's horror, Dana raised a foot and stomped on his phone, breaking it completely with a loud crunch.

"You bitch!" Gus gasped as Dana ran for the gate and jumped over...

RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP!

"Of freaking course..." Dana sighed, slapping her hands over her naked womanhood as she dove into a nearby bush.

Back with Gus, the man staggered to his feet and hid behind a sign, peeking out to see the zoo security guard pick up the remains of his phone.

"I know you're out there. This is proof!" The guard shouted before walking away from the gate.

Once he was gone, Gus stepped out and leaned up against the glass of one of the buildings. "Great. Now what?"

Gus turned around to see he was standing in front of the zoo gift shop, a bunch of disposable cameras on display. A smirk came to his face as he shrugged, picking up a rock the size of a baseball.

"Old school it is..."

"If Mom laughed at me for getting skunked on the job, she's never gonna let me live this down..." Dana muttered as she hid in the bushes, wondering how to get home without her phone.

*CRASH!*

The sound of breaking glass caught her attention as she turned towards the gate, see Gus climb over it and land on the other side... With a disposable camera in his hand as he ran off in the direction that Steven and Mary ran off in.

"That perverted ass doesn't know when to stop, does he?!" Dana growled as emerged from the bushes and began to chase him down...

Only for a police car to screech to a halt right next to her, causing her to let out a squeak as she covered herself up and burned a bright neon red. How the hell was she gonna explain this?!

"Dana?!"

Dana looked up and saw the officer stepping out of his car, recognizing it as her younger brother.

"Sam?!"