Secret Swedland Weapon: Mission Log

• Alfa reporting
• 02:40 06

Operation Harpoon Extraction is hot for go. Task **** Juliete is in the Eagle and flying over Sweland territory. Personell, include special operators Bravo, November, Echo and Oscar. We've also received operators Foxtrot and Golf to compensate for the loss of members during operation Freedom Somersault. Golf is quiet and keeps to himself. Foxtrot is a wildcard. She is a loudmoth and seems irresponsible. I will keep an eye on both.

The goal of Extraction Harpoon is infiltration of top secret facility and extraction of Sweland's new super weapon. Code name: Omega. Survival is not guaranteed. Assuming things go to plan next update is will be at 18:00 06.

Glory to Normark. **** to Sweland.

• Alfa reporting
• 22:36 06

Operation Harpoon Extraction has been compromised. Infiltration was go as of 05:21 06. We acquired the weapon at 08:44 06, but it was not what we assumed. Omega is not a what but a who. Description follows: Male. Late teens. Bald. Around 165cm. Skinny. Wearing Sweland military uniform.

We tried converting him to Normark, but Omega seems to be throughly brainwashed by Sweland propaganda.

Foxtrot was provoked and fired at Omega around 09:57 06, but Bravo intervened. Our mission is extraction not termination.

The gun shot alarmed security, and we were **** to capture and run with Omega.

Escape was difficult. We lost Golf, Echo and Oscar before leaving hot zone at 11:11 06.

We are currently moving towards emergency Safe Point for possible pickup by eagle. Distance: 130km from hot zone.

We have all the food and equipment needed for the journey.

Marching speed is slow. We lost most of our muscles in Golf, Echo and Oscar. November is carrying Omega. She dosen't seem to struggle, but it limits our speed.

Omega is constantly talking. Good source of information. Currently we have learned:

Sweland is trying to make Omega a propaganda tool. Apperently it is some sort of biological weapon specialised in information warfare. Effect or method unknown.

We are limiting our own talking to a minimum.

We are likely to march for a few more hours before resting. Assuming no other developments, next update will be then.

Glory to Normark **** to Sweland.

• Alfa reporting
• 01:30 07

Task **** Juliete is moving as planned. Distance travelled 20km/130km.

The march has been uneventful. Omega has continued talking, but has not given out any new vital information. November has started to join in on the conversation.

Foxtrot has repeatedly suggested we kill him. Bravo continues to insist we need him alive. As the leader, I see both sides.

For now we bring him with us. We still don't know the true nature of weapon Omega. Besides, his constant talking is having an uplifting effect. I believe it boosts the team's morale. If he was not Sweland scum I might call him charismatic.

At 01:07 07 we found a suitable clearing for respite. We are to take turns watching over Omega while we sleep. November has volunteered to take first watch.

Next report will be at 10:00 07 assuming no unexpected event takes place.

Glory to Normark. **** to Sweland.

• Alfa reporting
• 10:00 07

Distance travelled 39km/130km We are slightly off pace. Sleeping was difficult. Omega kept talking all throughout the night. He shows no sign of sleep deprivation.

Foxtrot has gone from suggesting we kill Omega to suggesting we beat the crap out of him.

Bravo strongly opposes this and continously questions Foxtrot's judgement.

November still dutifully carries Omega. I worry she is growing too attached to the weapon. She partakes in and even initiates casual conversation.

At 09:35 07 she mistakenly disclosed her name. She refered to herself as Natalie.

We corrected her immediately.

Omega is incredibly handsome and funny, but I remind my team that he is of Sweland blood.

Bravo has suggested that she help carry Omega.

She admits that she dosen't have November's endurance, so she and Foxtrot will take turns carrying the weapon.

Our goal will be reaching the lake 'Troll's Bath' at approximately 90km before the day is over.

Assuming nothing else happens next update will be then.

Glory to Normark. **** to Sweland

• Alfa reporting
• 14:50 07

Reporting several more breach of protocol. At 12:20 07 Bravo refered to herself as Birgit.

I warned her not to do that again.

At 12:25 07 Foxtrot took over carrying Omega.

At 12:32 Foxtrot referred to herself as Freyja.

Omega pointed out that our call signs were too stiff for use in casual conversation. It was suggested it might be good for security if we come up with new ones.

I will consider it.

At 13:21 07 Omega started talking about Sweland. I hope this eventually will reveal useful information.

For now he has only mentioned the country's beautiful nature and rich cultural heritage.

I might have to visit as a tourist sometime.

Foxtrot is still suggesting we harass Omega; however she's given up on beating him.

Her current proposal is 'slapping him silly' if he dosen't behave.

Bravo continues to object.

I continue to agree with Bravo. Slapping Omega risks damaging his face. That would be detrimental to our continued motivation.

Foxtrot likely agrees despite her harsh words. She has not yet complained about having to carry Omega.

November complains more. She insists that she is perfectly capable of carrying Omega herself.

I suspect her real goal is getting more intimate with Omega.

I understand the appeal but mission first.

At 14:45 07 I ordered a break. I made it clear to the team that I would step in if any further protocol breaches took place.

Assuming no other events next update will be when we reach Troll's Bath.

Glory to Normark. Down with Sweland.

• Bravo reporting
• 17:40 07

Alfa has taken over carrying Omega.

This is seriously unfair, as the plan was for me and Foxtrot to carry him throughout the day.

It all happened because of November's big mouth.

At 14:55 07 November disclosed her address and marital status.

I was asking Omega if he had a girlfriend back in Sweland.

He does not♥

November then jumped in saying that if he ever visited the capital there is a single lady in Carl Strøket who can fix that for him.

Alfa got pissed.

She immediately proceed to take over carrying Omega.

She had to run in a circle after Foxtrot, as she refused to give him up.

Since Alfa is now doing the manual labour, I am having to take over the administrative tasks she'd usually do.

As second in command, it makes more sense for me to do the carrying.

I tried pointing this out to her, but she insisted on being the only one fit to carry Omega.

It's not like she's any more professional than we are. At 15:49 07 she called herself Anna.

We really need new call signs.

Omega continues to amaze me with stories about Sweland. At about 16:00 07 he told us about these lakes that sparkles in the summer sun.

Bathing outside is so cold in Normark. Even during summer.

Apperently people in Sweland has a tradition called 'skinny dipping' where groups gather and bathe in nothing but their birtday suit.

I blushed upon hearing it, but the way he describes it makes it sound incredibly exiting.

I really need to visit Sweland sometime. It sounds awesome.

Foxtrot, on the other hand, is terrible. She has been threatening to hurt Omega ever since we found him. Now after learning about skinny dipping she suggested that 'stripping him naked' might be a good punishment.

Then she teased me about not objecting to that idea like I did the others.

I want to see him naked. Sue me! But we shouldn't **** it on him.

We have been making slow progress with all the stopping and fighting. We are likely in for another long night.

Next update will be when we arrive at Troll's Bath.

Hopefully, Alfa will have shared Omega by then. I really want to carry him again.

Glory to Normark (Though Sweland sounds way cooler)

• Alfa reporting
• 00:10 08

We have made it to Troll's Bath.

Distance travelled: 91km/130km.

We arrived earlier than expected because we stopped carrying Omega.

Progress was slow at first. I was carrying Omega from 15:00 07 to 18:30 07.

It was amazing. If all men from Sweland are this sexy, I'm moving there as soon as this is over.

But the others kept squeezing into us from behind and complaining about being left out.

It made marching difficult.

At around 18:00 08 Foxtrot grabbed Omega's butt.

It happened because November had been aggressively flirting with Omega. She has been growing increasingly forward in her methods.

She was talking about her boobs. How cumbersome big breasts can be when marching. Then she asked Omega if he thought her dropping some clothes would help.

He said it couldn't hurt.

That was when Foxtrot pinched his butt.

She told him it was because he was being a 'bad boy.'

Bravo continues to protest against Foxtrot's harassment.

I agree with Bravo. It is not fair for Foxtrot to get to touch Omega's butt when others don't have the opportunity.

It also distracts from the mission.

Foxtrot insisted that we were overreacting. She said it was only friendly games.

Omega said he agrees so long as she dosen't get mad if he gets back at her later.

She assured him that she wouldn't.

Bravo then asked to carry Omega as to keep him away from Foxtrot's harassment.

November argued that it was her turn to carry him seeing as she hadn't done so since this morning.

Foxtrot said that if her grabbing a feel was the problem, it made most sense for her to carry him. Then she wouldn't be able to grab him.

I refused them all.

Omega had recently grown a hard-on. It was poking into me from behind. I was not trusting any of the other members to handle this.

It definitely had to be me.

We wasted time from 18:10 07 to 18:21 07 arguing until Omega suggested he just walk himself.

He promised he'd be compliant.

I was hesitant. Him walking would mean I wouldn't get to feel his erection.

And it might also compromise the mission.

Bravo agreed immediately. She disliked the idea of him being treated as a prisoner.

I reminded her that he is from Sweland.

She said that only made him more trustworthy, to which I had to agree.

From what I've heard today, Swedland is a nation of really upstanding people.

At 18:30 07 We ended up untying the ropes around his legs and arms and letting him walk himself.

He immediately lashed out an arm towards Foxtrot. I worried that he was attacking her and we made a mistake in letting him free.

He gave her butt a good smack.

I want it on record that Foxtrot squeaked like a little girl.

He said that was payback for being a 'bad girl'.

We laughed at her meek response.

She visibly soaked. I must remember to have her dry her panties tonight. Marching in those is sure to give a rash.

November hugged Omega. Dry humping might be a more accurate term.

Bravo asked if there were anything she could do to make him more comfortable.

Omega then asked for something to eat which Bravo immediately aquired from her backpack. She apologised profusely for not feeding him sooner.

I can't believe we tried hogging everything to ourselves. What were we thinking?

Omega assured Bravo that it happened only because she was raised in Normark's selfish culture. 'Birgit is a good girl' he told her.

I must also remember to have Bravo dry her panties before we start marching tomorrow.

I pointed out that he can't call Bravo by her real name.

We then agreed to make some better call signs before tomorrow.

Marching went much faster after that. We arrived at Troll's Bath a little before 00:00 08

Morale is currently very high.

We ended up drawing straws for who would get to keep first watch with Omega.

I am last, unfortunately.

We are now 40km away from the emergency safe zone. With Omega walking, we will be able to reach it before dark tomorrow.

Assuming no other events takes place, next update will be tomorrow at 10:00 08.

Glory to Normark. And you know what? Glory to Sweland, too.