Scrumptious

"I've only had one boyfriend and that was a fake relationship, so it's not a high bar for him." Mama laughs as Poppy hides her face in her hands. You'd think she'd punish us for teasing our sister, but instead she decided to join in. That's usually how it goes.

Dinner was great, over the years our parents had learned the fine art of fusion cooking, so needless to say, it blew our guests' minds. "Can we talk about anything else?" Poppy pleads amongst the raucous laughter. "How's the football team?" She asks desperately.

"It's good, I've got a fitness retreat waiting for approval with the coach, so hopefully we'll have news on it soon." Andi replies as she recovers from her laughter.

"Retreat? Is it like a training camp or something?" Echo asks, apparently concerned that she hadn't heard of this. Down girl, she said she's waiting on news.

Andi snorts in response. "Or something." She answers. "It's basically an excuse for a spa weekend for the team, gives us a chance to rest our bodies." Rosie's face lights up at the news, seems she was also unaware.

"That sounds amazing, I haven't been to a spa in so long!" My sister replies enthusiastically. I can almost feel Poppy's envy, but I think she's trying to stay quiet to avoid the topic returning to her love life.

"I finally get you back, and you go and leave me again." Mum tuts while rolling her eyes, I know she's joking, but it does seem like at least one of us is away at any given time, then again that's not wholly unusual for us.

Mama takes the initiative to stand, taking Mum's hand as she does. "Come on Lapin, you get grouchy when you're tired." She smiles, leading her wife away from the table. "Don't stay up too late!" She adds as they leave the room.

"They didn't seem tired." Poppy points out with a confused look on her face.

"That's because they're not going to sleep." I explain, causing a moment of contemplation from Poppy, before a cringe in realisation. "They've been way more affectionate than usual recently, I guess they didn't see each other for a while... Still gross though."

"I think it's sweet." Echo argues. "I can't imagine still being that attracted to someone after so much time, it's impressive."

Andi snorts again at Echo's words. "You're just being nice because they like you!" She chuckles, causing our girlfriend to pout. "Besides, from what I saw earlier... Sweet is not the word I'd use."

Even I can't help but cringe at that statement. "Can we stop discussing my parents' sex life?" I beg.

"Says the guy that brought it up." Rosie interjects. "Better take notes on their longevity, you've got two girlfriends to keep up with now, you don't want to be relying on little blue pills." She adds with a smirk.

I can feel Andi and Echo's expectant gazes after Rosie's point. I could reassure them that I'll still be attracted to them as we get older... But I kinda want to get **** for that comment. "Well, not like you need the notes, seeing as you'll be the last one of us that's still a virgin."

Silence is the answer to my statement. I can see Andi's shock, Poppy's awkwardness, Echo's enjoyment, and worst... Rosie's pain. "Oh. Thanks. Good to know I'm so undesirable." She growls, before standing and leaving the room.

"So... Little tip about girls, we don't like being mocked for our sex lives... Or lack of." Echo informs me smugly, clearly entertained at my tactlessness. I look to Andi who simply shrugs, concurring with our girlfriend's point.

I sigh and lean back in my chair. "Yeah, that was probably too harsh. I'll... Apologise later, I guess." I admit. Thinking back, it's kinda my fault that Rosie never met anyone, maybe I owe it to her to help her find happiness too? Either way, I'm definitely the bad guy here...

Damn... Just when things were quieting down.

*

Cleaning up doesn't take too long, after which Echo and Andi each give me a kiss and head back next door for the night. As much as I'd love to sleep in the same bed as them, I think I've got some issues to resolve. It's hard being the only one keeping the world together, I'm sure my peace prize is in the mail.

I knock on Rosie's door, expecting no answer... Or expletives, instead I get a regular 'come in' from my sister, which is honestly the one response I was not prepared for. I enter the room and see her sat at her desk, writing in her notebook, I can't see what it is she's chronicling but that's not important right now.

"Hey... I'm sorry for what I said, it's not my place to air your dirty laundry." I apologise honestly. "Are you doing okay?" I add, shutting the door behind me.

"It's not your fault, I wasn't really mad about that." Rosie hurries to correct me. "Okay, if I tell you something, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Anyone, understand?" She demands as she turns to me, her stare full of both Serious anger and urgent desperation.

I consider what could be so secret, but decide to just wait for Rosie to spill the beans. "Alright, sure, are you in trouble or..." I trail off, trying to lead her into explaining.

"Not really... It's just... Well..." Rosie stammers. "I'm not... Going to be the last one." She states, not abating my confusion. Rosie waits for my response for a minute before elaborating further. "The night of the party... I slept with someone."

Oh.

OH.

"Wow... Okay." I answer, processing this information in my head. "Were you safe? Like, he was jabbed right?" Sexual activity injections are pretty much commonplace nowadays, one stab and job done, a year of no sperm production, and it contains protection from almost all STIs, they're a lifesaver for... Well, people like me who were fucking as soon as they could.

Rosie's face looks awkward, causing my chest to tighten as I consider the possibility that my sister got pregnant. "I... Didn't say it was a guy." She reveals. "Kinda forgot I hadn't told you I'm bisexual."

"I am learning a lot about you today" I exhale, sitting down on Rosie's bed. Well, at least pregnancy isn't a concern unless she hung around after for an appointment with Rouge, but I feel like that would be a different conversation. "So, how come it's a secret? Was it bad or something?" I ask, getting back to our original topic.

My sister's face crinkles into a squirm as she answers. "It was great, I mean, really good. Seriously, I think I clinically died from pleasure at one point." She begins. "It's just... When I woke up, she was gone... No number, no note, nothing."

"That's a real conundrum, except for the fact it isn't at all." I roll my eyes as I snort at her uncertainty. "Everyone's on social media, just search her name and look through who's nearby, it's not rocket science."

"Oh gee, thanks big brother, I hadn't thought of that, thank fuck you're here, just one more thing, how do I put socks on? I'm just so useless without you!" She spits back, not so much dripping with sarcasm as flooded by it.

"I think Echo's been a bad influence on you." I reply flatly. "What's the problem? She give you a fake name or something?"

Rosie groans at my suggestion. "I wish." She remarks defeatedly as she leans back in her chair. "At least that'd give me something to go off... The truth is... She never told me her name."

The urge to burst into laughter is immediate, but I suppress it. "So... To sum up. You met a girl, complete stranger, didn't even bother to introduce yourself, fucked her, saw the face of God apparently, then fell asleep?" I confirm, receiving only a nod from Rosie's embarrassed face.

"I've never been more proud of you."