Scarecrow Festival

"I bet she thinks she's got away with it this month, what with her going away on holiday to the Algarve for a fortnight" Aditty complained. "Well, we are struggling aren't we ? August has pretty slim pickings for notable events and lots of people are on holiday, what with the kids being off school" Diane agreed.

"There's the annual bog snorkelling championships ?" Stew suggested. Diane roared with laughter. "Much as I'd pay good money to see her bog snorkelling I can't see how we'd be able to set up a bog course in the car park !" "We could take her down to that rancid old stream out the back that disappears into the culvert ?" Aditty suggested. This provoked more laughter from Diane. "That'd be wonderful but I wouldn't want her catching some deadly disease ! God knows what gets flushed down there."

Stew continued to search online. "What about this ? This place in Yorkshire has a scarecrow festival. It's peak growing season and farmers get **** to keep the birds off of their crops. We don't have to go to Yorkshire, we could just dress her up in the car park for a couple of hours ?"

Diane's mind slipped into gear. "Now that we could work with. We can dress her, or more like undress her, to look ridiculous." "We can have a display to show the company's solidarity with our farmers. Make it look legit while she's a freak show in the middle ?" said Stew. "Good thinking" Diane agreed. "And mix up some sort of gunk to pass off as bird pooh that we can pour over her at some point ?" was Aditty's contribution. "A couple of volunteers could dress in bird costumes to do that ?"