Same bar, different people

The mood was awkward for sure. Yesterday I found it easy to talk with Gloria, but with Christine around, I was unsure how to handle everything. I found it difficult to think like she did. On Friday, when she yelled at me, she talked a lot about being disappointed by other men. The difficulty for me was trying to figure out how she handled her reactions to me. Was now the time for me take the initiative and forge an actual friendship that'll last, that helps her understand how to deal with men? Or was now still the time to wait, to play it safe?

Either way, we were drinking now. I picked a different fruit-themed, ****-free cocktail. If I already visit this place more than once, I might as well try something new.

Donna: "Wait, you don't drink?"

Christine: "No..."

James: "No, never did."

Donna: "Now I feel like the weird one for having an alcoholic drink at the bar." She winked.

Christine: "Well, I don't wanna drink. Clouds senses and inhibitions, generally a bad idea."

Donna: "Yeah, but we need to celebrate!"

James: "Well honestly, if you're like me and never really went to the 'cool students' parties, you never really drank **** to celebrate to begin with."

Donna: "I see what you mean with you being boring in college, James."

Christine: "H-Hey!" Wait, she defended me? And I got no points? Does that mean she likes me? Or was she like me in college?

Donna: "And you two don't even drink coffee, right? Without Amber and Beth, I'm all alone in using the coffee machine."

James: "You could invite Helen, Floria, and Gloria, no?"

Donna: "Yeah, that's a good idea, actually."

After we all talk about our drinks for a bit, Christine starts talking.

Christine: "Oh uh, I was the one who heard you two and Beth, I'm sorry."

Donna: "It's okay, it was kind of a dumb idea of mine."

James: "Sorry we bothered you." Christine +5SP (-3SP)

She breathed a heavy sigh, but stayed silent. I think she tried to suppress some response.

After a while, we headed out, Donna had invited us and so my wallet lived to see another day.

James: "Christine, where do you need to go? Should we bring you somewhere?"

Christine: "Uhm, I... need to go to the train station."

James: "I'll need to go there too. Do you want to come with us, Donna?"

Donna: "Sorry, I... need to go home. It was maybe a bit too much for me."

James: "Oh, uh... Christine, if you want, we can go together, but I don't want to put any pressure on you."

Christine: "I... I'll go with you." Christine +10SP (+7SP)

We walked in silence for a few minutes until we arrived at the next station. "Okay Christine, my train will be here in two minutes, when will your train come?"

"I... live in the same area as you."

"Oh, I didn't know. We never ran into each other when going home."

"I... avoided you, sorry." Christine +2SP (+9SP)

"It's okay, I get it a bit now. I don't want to push you in any direction and let you take things at your own pace. If you want me to take the next train, I can wait."

"Even in this cold?"

"Yeah. The next train arrives in only ten minutes anyway, it's not a big deal." Christine +3SP (+12SP)

"M-My mom used to say it's better to stick with the devil you know." After a brief pause, she adds a "Sorry." Christine +1SP (+13SP) Our train arrived, and we sit down. Here in the city center, the train is still full of people, but as we head further out, the train is nearly empty, our wagon contains just us and one other passenger. On the rather long ride between the core city and our suburb, the other passenger approaches us and sits down on seats opposite to us. He began looking at me and Christine intently.

Passenger: "You know boy, you really gotta put a ring on them early if you want to keep them. Young women these days are all sluts."

James: "What the fuck?"

Passenger: "Just look at her, I can tell she's already deflowered. If you really want her, gotta keep her from running away."

At this moment, the train began to stop. I didn't even think much, I just dragged Christine with me to the exit, out into the cold of the train station.

James: "Is this your stop? Otherwise we'll have to wait ten minutes..."

Christine: "Sadly no. But it's better this way, thank you." Christine +6SP (+19SP)

"Sorry for the question, but does this sort of thing happen often to you? I mean, I usually drive when it's fuller and earlier. And I'm not a woman."

"Yeah, it does..."

I sigh. "I believed you before, just seeing it myself just makes the experience more... real if that makes sense? And honestly, the old guy was creeping me out too."

"Do you see what I meant on Friday?"

"I mean, I didn't doubt you, I'd just like to believe I'm one of the good ones."

"The good ones leave me alone."

"Honestly, if I was still like myself three weeks ago, I would have left you alone. To some extent, Donna was right, I was boring in college, I had nobody but Amber. But that boringness... It made me think I'd never get friends or a partner, so I just gave up on trying. I did well with that strategy for a long time. Kept me from getting my hopes up, from desperately trying and failing to get friends of any kind just to seem normal."

"What changed?"

"I met Amber again. Not to give you any details, but she knew me well and loved me. She realized how she had to show me her love in a way, so that even my low self-confidence, my own terrible image of myself could not explain away her attachment anymore. She broke through the walls I had built around myself."

"Do you like it... outside the walls?"

"I mean, it's been a mixed bag. More confidence helped, but I'm not a magician that can make friends appear. With some people I've been slower, with some I've been faster, but it's okay. I can't deny, it wasn't always easy and I have sometimes been hurt trying to talk to people. Looking back at it, I can see why I stayed inside. When I was this afraid and weak already, I couldn't simply jump into reality on a whim. But I'm glad I went outside, not just for me, but for Amber and all the friends I made since. I don't know if going outside your walls is that relevant to you, though, since you're a lesbian and all."

"That lesbian thing... I mainly said it in hopes you'd stop talking to me. I'm straight. I was questioning it after so many dates with men had gone awry, but Helen was right, I'm not a lesbian, I never was. It just gets some men off me and so I say that." Christine +9SP (+28SP)

Our train arrived, and we entered. We sighed in relief, as a few more people were here, Christine exited a few stops later, while I left the train at the very end.

It's been a long day for me, and I just needed to go home. Instead, I ran into Klara.

"Oh hi James, your mother told me you weren't home yet."

"Yeah, sorry, I was at work for a bit longer."

"It's okay. Has Amber told you yet?"

"Yeah she did, don't worry."

"I hope you're not mad."

"Of course not, Klara. I'm glad you made that discovery about yourself now, rather than later, when things might have gotten more serious between us."

"I... yeah, I feel the same way. I want us to stay friends though. The feelings I have for you... They might not be the kind of love I had thought they were, but you're a wonderful friend, James. And I want to keep it that way."

"What's your life plan now, if I may ask?"

"I... don't know yet. I think I'm not at a point yet where I feel like I fully grasped everything that my uhm... discovery implies. The life goal I had always hoped of pursuing... well, it needs revisions. And I don't know yet that this will be the end. I had never asked myself these sorts of questions before, I just chose to live in my idyllic farm life waiting for a Prince Charming ready to split the work and make me a mother. Now, I don't even want that anymore."

"If you need any help, I'm happy to lend an ear at any time. Friday evening would be perfect for me. I'm sure Amber will help you too."

"Thanks, James. Friday evening sounds good, I'll see you then."

She hesitated a bit, then gave me a hug. "It's a friendship hug, alright?"

"Alright, till Friday."

I was getting cold, winter was slowly rearing its cold head on this city.