SS Undercover Ch 4

Beads of sweat appear on Apple’s forehead. She twitches when Cassie touches her shoulder and gives her a reassuring smile. “It’s OK,” Cassie says. “Relax. I’ll split it with you.”

“Oooooh,” Kylie says, but she passes the shoe over readily.

Apple blushes while the gazes of the other women are like heat lamps. Cassie shakes her head, steals herself, and takes a big swallow from the shoe. She only spills a little. Groaning, she wipes her chin and hands it to Apple, who sips and makes a face, then gamely downs the rest.

Apple coughs and wheezes while Cassie goes back to her chair to cheering, applause, and a pat on the back from Kylie. She just has to take pictures, right? Meri didn’t say that they had to be good pictures.

UNDERCOVER

Iris steps carefully over an ancient tripwire. It’s difficult to know what it’s connected to or if it still functions, but it’s better to be safe.

She signals the rest of the party. “Something’s up ahead. You feel that?”

“It’s getting colder,” Raf replies warily, holding his torch high.

The shallow steps have been carved from the stone, but it’s not clear what tools could have done this. The legends of Selona the Guardian go back for centuries, but this must be even older.

Their torchlight reflects on something shiny and wet.

“Is that ice?” Ossor asks. “It’s cold down here, but not cold enough for this. It’s got to be magic. Can you break it?”

Lady Charlotte looks blank. An awkward moment passes.

“Not without knowing its nature,” Iris says. “We’ll have to go back.”

“Back to where?” Raf turns with his torch as something skitters in the dark.

“That pit.”

Raf makes a face. “With the spiderwebs?”

“No other choice.”

“Nope,” Lady Charlotte says. “Nope, nope, nope. Not happening, fuck you, put that thing away!”

UNDERCOVER

Looking apologetic, Apple discreetly removes the spider figurine from the map.

“Sorry,” she says, abashed.

“It’s cool. But no. Spiders? Hell no. I don’t even want to talk about them,” Cassie says. “Dude, look. I’m a wizard.” She picks up her character sheet and squints at. “I’m gonna do a fireball and blow up the wall. And then we don’t’ have to go back anywhere, we can just go through here. It doesn’t say I can’t do fire.”

“There’s this really old video game,” Colby says excitedly, “Where one of the gimmicks is ice blocking the doors, and you get fire powers to melt the ice, and it’s so fucking satisfying. It’s like tactile. It looked so cool.” She kisses her fingers. “That was a cool game. You could see the ice melt and stuff. Incredible.”

“What is that face? Why can’t I do fire?” Cassie asks, looking accusingly at Apple.

“Well, I suppose she can,” Apple says uncertainly. “It’s just not in keeping with the way it is in the books. She’s not a wizard, exactly.”

Colby gulps beer. “She didn’t go to Hogwarts, Cassie. The magic system isn’t like…”

“Gandalf,” Cassie says. It’s the only wizard she knows, and only because the guy who played him is a gay icon. “Like Gandalf. You shall not pass calculus if you were raised on an iPad. Oh shit, what’s in this?” She looks worriedly at her beer bottle.

“You did two-thirds of a shoey of vodka,” Elsa reminds her, rubbing her back. “Because you are a dashing heroine, here to rescue Apple from her virginity. While I watch.”

“Wait, what? Can we get back to fireballs?”

“That’s an excellent idea.” Kylie shoots to her feet. “Shots!”

“No! You… oh, Jesus.” Cassie rubs her face and squints at Colby. “What are you saying about magic?”

“Um, OK, so—shut up, Apple. I’ll explain it better,” Colby speaks over Apple and straightens the stack of paperbacks. “Lady Charlotte doesn’t have any magic powers. She’s magically bound to a demon that will do stuff for her.”

“OK. That works. I mean, why not?”

“No, but she like, does sexual favors for him. She has to like go into his astral realm and bone him before he’ll do stuff,” Colby says.

“Oh, shit. That’s pretty hardcore,” Cassie says. “I don’t think Gandalf does that.”

“He totally would,” Colby says.

Cassie tries to stay focused on the things that matter. “Is the demon hot at least?”

“See for yourself.” Colby grabs the fourth book in the series and opens to the back cover, showing Cassie a creased and faded illustration of a bulky, muscled demon with red skin covered in black tattoos.

Cassie purses her lips, then takes a swig of beer. “Does nothing for me. Is there a lady demon? Maybe she wants a foot rub and to talk about her day? I could go for that. Or we could get crepes. I could really go for a crepe right now.”

Kylie reappears, slamming a bottle of Fireball on the table and knocking over all of Apple’s little figures. “Let’s have that. Oh, you can see his willy. G’day, sir.” She looks appraisingly at the illustrated demon. “Well, he can be my unholy master any day.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Colby says, taking the book and returning it to the stack. “Lady Charlotte always acts like it’s this big fucking hardship, but…” She gives them a knowing look. “Right, Apple? Apple knows what I’m talking about.”

Apple, very red, clears her throat. “Right, and…”

“Shots!” Kylie roars, uncapping the bottle.

“If you insist,” Elsa says innocently while Apple appears to crumple inward.

“Actually, that’s, um…” Kylie frowns at the stack of books. “Rather interesting. Oh, but look at the time. Shall we switch?”

“Switch what?” Colby asks.

“Games. It’s supposed to be board game night. This one hasn’t even got a board.”

OK, so Kylie’s clearly bored with this, and drinking doesn’t seem to be making her less ADHD. Looks like Elsa’s on her side, while it’s pretty obvious that Apple and Colby want to do this RPG. They all look at Cassie in a laudable show of consideration for their guest.

Should Cassie side with the nerd morons? Or the party morons?