S2-ENF-025 - DOESN'T NOTICE

“Here it is,” said FBI Special Agent Donna Scilly. “The warp drive from the spaceship that crashed at Roswell in 1947. It’s been locked up in a filing cabinet in a disused basement of the J. Edgar Hoover Building this entire time. They haven’t even noticed it’s gone.”

“Great,” said Dr. Felicity Brown, a slim, nerdy-looking brunette with big round glasses, accepting the small shiny object from Scilly’s hands. “This is just what I need to complete the ultimate secret weapon. Soon, my **** on the Foundation for bullying me all those years will be complete. Muahahaha!”

“Thank you for explaining your motivations, Felicity,” said Thessaly, rolling her eyes. The three girls were sitting in Scilly’s office in FBI headquarters, with the blinds drawn shut so nobody could peer in. “And thank you for letting us know, for the thousandth time, that you were the one who set me free from Foundation captivity. I don’t know where we’d be without that little bit of exposition.”

“You’re welcome! Would you like to hear again what my ultimate secret weapon does?”

“We all know already. I don’t see any point in repeating the information aloud.”

“But I really, really want to say it explicitly!”

“We can’t afford to waste any more time,” said Scilly, who was wearing no pants and shifting uncomfortably in her chair. She still hadn’t been able to prank anyone, and the FBI had introduced a whole new dress policy just for her. “When do we strike?”

“All in good time,” Thessaly said. “There’s just one very important thing I need to do first.”

“What?” said Scilly, and then “Eeek!” She wasn’t sitting on her office chair any more. Now she was standing on the White House lawn, in the middle of a press conference, before a sea of rowdy reporters, with dozens of television cameras pointed directly at her. And she still wasn’t wearing any pants!

“Bullying people is just so satisfying,” said Felicity, standing in the crowd nearby, watching Scilly squeal and blush and try to find a place to hide. “I can see why everyone liked doing it to me so much.”

“I agree,” said Thessaly, with a dangerous gleam in her eye, and held up Felicity’s pants for her to see. “I’m leaving you here, okay? Have fun!”