S2-ENF-019 - HOBBY

“So the only way to get rid of ENF-147,” said Donna Scilly, thoughtfully, “is to prank somebody else. Good to know. Why are you telling me this?”

“Let’s just say,” said Thessaly, “that messing with the Foundation is a little hobby of mine.”

The two women sat in a cafe in Washington, DC, not far from the National Mall. One table over, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was deep in conversation with a former prime minister of Finland about very important matters of geopolitical import, such as why their pants kept disappearing. As Scilly watched, both women emitted little simultaneous shrieks and tucked their bare legs hastily under the table, looking around sheepishly to see if anybody had noticed.

Thessaly was smiling brightly. Scilly stirred more cream into her coffee and said “What do you want me to do?”

“Let me explain,” said Thessaly, eyes gleaming with evil intent. Scilly listened carefully as the immortal time-stopper expounded her villainous plan for **** against the Foundation, cackling at her own jokes and occasionally drawing little diagrams on the table with spilt sugar. When she’d finished, the special agent took a long sip of her coffee and said “It’s brilliant.”

“I know! I’m so smart.”

“But why don’t you just stop time, break into their base and do whatever you want to them?”

“Not nearly mean enough. Those bitches imprisoned me. Me! They don’t know who they’re messing with. I want to see them squirm.”

Scilly had been keeping close tabs on Thessaly’s recent activities, and it seemed to her that the girls of the Foundation had already been made to squirm more than enough for any ten lifetimes. She decided not to point this out. “I’ll do my part,” she said. “Anything it takes to get this target off my back.”

“You mean your ass.”

“I guess.”

“Speaking of which…”

“EEEEK!”

“Hey, look,” said AOC, pointing across the room. Thessaly was gone. So were all of Scilly’s clothes. Heads were turning, eyes looking, mouths laughing. “That cute redhead FBI special agent is NAKED!”

“Ah,” said the former Finnish prime minister. “Is like sauna. This is normal in your country?”

“Haha! No!”