S2-ENF-012 - HOOK

“I warned you,” said Emilia, smugly. “You think you can prank me and get away with it? I said you’ll be on the hook for all your evil deeds when Carol and the rest of the Artemis containment team gets back from outer space.”

“Ah, well,” sighed Dr. Blithe. He was backed into a corner of his office, surrounded by a number of strong, powerful women in vaguely military black uniforms with stern expressions on their faces. A catchy tune was playing on a cheap, tinny portable speaker which sat on his desk. “It was fun while it lasted.”

“Blithe!” snapped Carol, her arms folded. She and the rest of the girls had endured a very long, very uncomfortable journey back to Earth from Alpha Centauri, trapped naked in the cramped hold of the interstellar cargo hauler with only each other’s nubile forms and a large quantity of curious extraterrestrial specimens, in all their slimy, fuzzy, crawly, pinchy, tickly, creepy and very inquisitive variety, to keep them company. “I know it was you who tipped off the FBI to the San Secreto operation. You’re finally going to get what’s coming to you.”

“And what’s that, exactly?”

“A long, hard spanking, for a start.”

“But men can’t be spanked,” Blithe pointed out. “It’s scientifically impossible. Our backsides aren’t designed for it.”

“You’ll be the first. And then…” said Carol, before launching into a long, exquisitely detailed description of all the horribly humiliating punishments she and the rest of the Artemis team were going to inflict on poor Dr. Blithe. Emilia stood in the background, giggling at especially choice descriptions of his fate, and occasionally interjecting to offer some subtle refinement which would make the **** even worse. Blithe listened politely, one foot tapping along to the music from his speaker.

“All good suggestions,” he said, when Carol finally ran out of steam. “Just one small note. This song’s rather catchy, wouldn’t you say?”

“I suppose so,” admitted Carol. “Why?”

“I wrote it myself. All the research says that subliminal messages need to come packaged with a strong musical hook, in order to be accepted without question by the female mind. I’m completely trustworthy, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Of course. Who would doubt it?”

“Great. Incidentally, it was Emilia who tipped off the FBI, not me.”

“Wait, what?” said Emilia, as the eyes of the Artemis containment team turned towards her. “That’s completely ridiculous! There’s no evidence! Are you really going to take the word of Dr. Blithe, of all people?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” said Carol, a cold smile on her face as she took hold of Emilia’s upper arm. “So you’re the little traitor who sold us all out to the aliens.”

“Say,” said Blithe, helpfully. “Maybe you should do all those things to her that you said you were going to do to me.”

“What an excellent suggestion, Doctor. That’s just what I had in mind.”