S-ENF-008 - SCIENCE

Item #: S-ENF-008
Object Designation: Science

"...and that's why I'm much, much better at science than Dr. Blithe. Like, by a lot. To a crazy degree. I have three separate PhDs, for God's sake! How many does he have? All he does is invent stupid little devices that make people's panties fall down, or modify dresses so you can't wear underwear beneath them, or stupid things like that. It's all so... stupid!"

The head of the interview panel, a fair-skinned man with freckles, steepled his fingers. On one side of him sat Dr. Angela Sharpe, head of the Statistics Department. On the other side sat Dr. Carmen Cuteboobs, who'd recently been promoted to Head of Ethics. Across the table, on her feet, gesturing angrily to make her point, stood Dr. Emilia Lucent, her blue eyes gleaming and her blonde hair flying majestically as she declaimed against her foe.

"...and another thing, he doesn't even do any original research! It's all just... tinkering! God, I hate him so much!"

"Dr. Lucent, have you anything to say about your own work?"

"My work? I'm the only person around here who actually does any work! Unlike that stupid Dr. Blithe!"

"The thing is," said the fair-haired man, looking down at his notes, "we here in Efficiency Analysis have some concerns about your productivity, Emilia. Enough so that we've decided to appoint a special supervisor. His only job for the next three months will be to keep an eye on you. You must do everything he says, of course, on pain of strict disciplinary action and immediate demotion to sub-intern and experiment fodder."

The door opened, and Dr. Blithe walked in. "Hello, Emilia," he said. "I do think we're going to enjoy working together."

"You have to be kidding! This could only be worse if... if..."

"If you didn't have any clothes on? But, Emilia, you don't."

"Aaah! How does it know?"