Rumor Has It...

"Ryan...Ryan, wake up, man. Aren't you supposed to go to school today?" I slowly opened my eyes, seeing the eight empty beer cans sitting on the coffee table next to the empty pizza box. Behind that, I saw my friend Drew, still in the same clothes as last night. I reached out, knocking an empty can to the floor as I tried to check the time on my phone, only to see that the battery had died sometime in the night. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Yeah." I said with a sigh. "What time is it anyway?"

Drew checked his phone. "Its only 11. Still pretty early." I let my head sink down. I'd missed my 9AM Fundamentals of Economics class, and there was no way I was making it to my 11:30 Business Management class. I didn't have another class until 4pm, which was just fine by me. I started to clean up the living room, carrying the trash can around to various piles of debris we'd created last night.

"Oh, almost forgot; you'll need to crash somewhere else tonight. Jen's coming over." I nodded understandingly, knowing why he was kicking me out for the evening. Drew was worried that a repeat of what happened with her when we are all drunk would happen again: she'd want to know if the rumors were true. I barely remember what happened that night, only saying "I can't get it all the way out in these tight-ass jeans," and her attempting to "assist" me before Drew put a stop to it. It was awkward for a couple of weeks, but even he had to admit that we are all way too drunk and high to have any hard feelings.

He also knew the truth: the rumors were modest compared to reality. I put out the trash and undressed for the shower, having to take care and not catch the head of my penis on my zipper as I slid my jeans down my pasty thighs. I stood there a moment, thanking whatever ancestor I had that, for obvious reasons, was able to pass down the genetics that gave me a billy-club-sized cock. Really, it was the only thing I had going for me. I'm not ruggedly handsome, can't build any serious muscle, and burn almost immediately if I stay in the sun too long.

The rumors started early. I didn't realize just how different I was until school when I saw that none of the other guys even came half as close as my size and girth in the showers. In high school, the rumors didn't get out till senior year, and well let's just say I satisfied quite a few girl's curiosity.

Now I'm in my second semester of college. I can't afford to live in the dorms, can't afford an apartment, and work a crappy part time job as a delivery driver for a local appliance store ran by my Gramps when I don't have class. I'm studying business management, but honestly I'm just going through the motions to make my Dad happy. He always tells me "Its what me and your mother think is best for you," as if she's still around and not just shacked up with her personal trainer in San Antonio.

By the time I finish my shower, I dry off and slide the same pair of jeans on I wore yesterday, and the day before that, strategically holding my cock against my leg as I do so in order to make it all work. I've considered being one of those guys who just wears kilts everywhere, but getting a random hard-on would lead to indecency charges.

I see my phone is ready, and scroll through my long contact list. I'm a fairly popular guy in the neighborhood and some of my extended family live nearby. I wonder who to call...