Rules, Regulations, and Ratings

Beckie Petersen

Beckie Petersen rubs her hands. She feels so pleased with how things are going. Now it’s time to give her great explanatory monologue.

“Well folks, The Master is now peacefully resting in the luxury Master Suite, where The Master will remain until the beginning of the next challenge! Now, most of the audience are regular consumers of Harem Hotel, so we will be mostly skipping the long, drawn out explanation of the rules and regulations of the show. While I know that only 27% of contestants will seriously read any explanatory paperwork on said rules and regulations before the first elimination, I think it should be on them to actually care about that. I shall be, of course, providing the changes from the standard rules and regulations for our dear audience. And we shall start with the great theory behind this season!”

Behind Beckie, a large fireworks display rises onto the stage and is then activates. The words “The Great Theory” lights up in sparklers, with several human-sized Pharaoh’s snakes going off on either side. An acceptably small portion of the stage catches fire, mostly the giant chest that Beckie has no need for anymore. The wind helpfully blows the toxic fumes from the Pharaoh’s snakes out to sea.

“Examining the mental state of several thousand contestants and several hundred masters, we have discovered that ‘helplessness’ is the biggest obstacle that needs to be overcome to enjoy the harem binding process. Contestants feel helpless, especially at the beginning of the season, as they are **** to undergo dramatic transformations to make them the perfect harem sluts for their master; eventually, the transformations themselves turn the brains of those who cannot adapt so much into mush that they cannot imagine life outside of being a harem slut at the beck and call of their master, but too many mush brained bimbos led to poor post-show satisfaction among masters and, much worse, bad ratings for reunion episodes. As the master is, hopefully, corrupted by the absolute power being foisted upon them over their sluts or, much worse, falls in love with them, they become dissatisfied by not having proper control over their property or, ick, having their girlfriends changed without the girls’ consent. This season is designed to test solutions to these problems of ‘helplessness’. Both The Master and contestants this season will be granted powers never seen before on this show.”

Beckie waits for applause. The contestants just stare at her, with various expressions of disbelief, anger, and despair. I really should have paid for the disembodied applause, too. Could have combined the disembodied tracks for a discount. Drat.

“Usually, the host has a set number of vetoes per transformation round that they can use to generate drama and whatnot. This season, The Master will have the power to veto 2 transformations per round instead. The Master cannot use a veto to prevent a transformation. When The Master uses a veto, The Master must vocalize objections and propose appropriate changes; we then hammer out details and the new transformation is given. If my Great Theory is correct, this rule change will significantly increase The Master’s happiness in this season. Isn’t that great, folks?”

Beckie again waits for applause. She still does not get any.

“Maybe you’ll clap for this announcement, you ungrateful whores,” Beckie mutters before continuing her spiel, “Giving the contestants a sense of agency is trickier. Their whole point of existing from the moment I brought them on the show is to dutifully worship their Master for the rest of eternity. But then I thought, why not let them shape the object of their eternal worship. In addition to the usual Master transformations that help move the Master into the right ‘head of a harem of sluts’ state of mind, this season The Master will experience transformations to help these sluts mold their Master into their true object of desire. The Master will earn one of these transformations every time a veto is used, selected by the affected contestant. Contestants can also use their Bonus Points (or BP) to purchase these transformations and there will be other opportunities for them to add to The Master’s improvements. So, while you may find your Master physically unappealing during your dates this week, you can always make your Master the sex goddess you desire by the end of the show. And, since The Master isn’t here to hear this explanation, you can change The Master without The Master even being aware about it. Neat, huh?”

Beckie stares at the contestants expectantly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” the gym girl snarls, “You kidnapped me, made me confess that I was never going to date The Master ‘cause The Master has a wang, and enslaved me to The Master just to see if I would like The Master if I can turn The Master into a chick?”

“Yeah. Basically.”

The naked girl raises her hand. Beckie knows she should know the contestants names at least, but doesn’t really care.

“Yes?”

“Umm... ma’am, why would turning The Master into a baby chicken be an improvement?”

“Ok. No more questions from you. Are any of you excited by the tantalizing prospect I am giving you?”

No response.

“Of course, granting extra power to the contestants and The Master does come at a cost. While we still love feedback and suggestions from the audience, we will be running fewer votes and polls at the beginning of the season than the audience is used to. As fun as it is to throw in a wacky transformative twist into the mix, we are still testing a theory. Hopefully, we can add more transformation votes into this season once The Great Theory has been proven.”

“Moving on,” Beckie continues, “The object of the game is to earn at least 100 Victory Points (or VP). You can earn VP in a number of ways: placing in challenges, pleasing The Master emotionally, providing for The Master sexually, and, of course, lezzing out with each other. Unlike some other seasons, however, you cannot earn VP for lezzing out with each other until you have done that act with The Master and you only get the VP once per contestant. So, say stripper girl and MILF there want to have a make-out session right now. Since neither of them made out with The Master yet, neither will get VP. Then let’s say stripper girl makes out with The Master on their first date. The next time stripper girl and MILF make-out, stripper girl will get VP for it. They make-out a third time, no points for that. MILF could still earn VP from making out with stripper girl, so long as she made out with The Master first. So, no grinding each other for points without first grinding on your Master.”

“Final major change, we are dropping the extra zeros from the usual BP amounts. Less typing that way. Moving on. Here are the scores at the beginning of the game!”

A scorebox rises up, displaying the current VP and BP amounts. Fortunately, the lazy show-runner Beckie hired actually cares enough about his job to list out names properly.

• Dinah 10 VP 50 BP

• Tina 5 VP 40 BP

• Añil 0 VP 30 BP

• Skye 0 VP 20 BP

• Scarlet -5 VP 10 BP

• Josie -10 VP 0 BP

“Yes, contestants, you can lose VP during challenges. In fact, if you place poorly, you will. If you end a challenge in the negatives, you are ‘on the bubble’; if you do not raise your score to at least 0 VP by the time the next challenge begins, you will be eliminated. And trust me, you do not want to be eliminated.”

“The best time to earn VP will be on your date with The Master. Starting tomorrow night, one of you will spend the night with The Master in the luxury Master Suite! You will have access to the basic amenities of the Master Suite to plan your date, but you may (and should) spend BP to upgrade the amenities you can use. These, and all other details concerning rules and regulations can be found in the pdf section of your handy-dandy Harem Hotel Beckie Beepers!”

The blonde girl apparently also wants to be a smart-ass, “Beepers? Really? What is this, the 90’s?”

“They are actually special magic smart phones. I just liked the sound of the alliteration.”

“Oooh. Gimme!”

At least the dumb blonde can be easy to please.

“This week, the dates are in reverse placement order. So, gym slut is first, then stripper girl, then the naked girl. So on and so forth. Subsequent weeks, we may change the order as I see fit.”

All this talking is getting tiresome. Now I see why many hosts have assistants on stage.

“One last thing to handle: explaining and doling out our introductory transformations! Then you contestants will be free to enjoy the hotel and your inevitable enslavement. What fun!”