Ruined

The men stand as I approach to square up with them, taken aback and affronted in equal measure. Though neither was afraid of me as they outnumbered me two to one, not counting any of their friends that were around, there was an element of intimidation at being stepped up on.

“What the fuck is your problem, pal?” Says the bigger of the pair and the one who said the R-word.

“My problem is your fucking mouth.” I say with gravel in my voice. “You want to talk about me and who I hang out with do it to my fucking face, asshole!”

“Easy over there boys!” The bartender bellows from behind the bar as the bouncer and a couple of regulars head our way.

Inside my head that voice of reason is SCREAMING at me. Not again! This is a nice town! Mei is watching! You aren’t proving anything! You aren’t protecting Ric! STOP! STOP!!! Unfortunately, with my adrenaline pumping, I could barely even hear it. I might have had a chance had the other guy not shoved me.

“You think you can walk into our town and start throwing your weight around, Georgia?” He barks, pushing me back another step. Around us a circle forms, both to keep us in and the bouncer out. Jeers and cheers surround us. “Just roll in and start acting like the king shit. Acting tough and fucking our women. You’re a glorified housekeeper. Know your fucking place, boy!”

The big man sneers behind him. “Run along, ginger. Your date’s waitin for her shortbus home.”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

I flatten the smaller one with a single wild haymaker that catches him clean. He was just a victim of circumstance as he’d been standing between me and the big man, who now stood momentarily stunned as he watches his friend spark out and hit the floor hard. I launch myself into him and the next moment finds me in a chaotic flurry of punches, kicks, gouges, elbows, knees and head butts. I was giving better than I got but the big man was as strong as a South Dakotan bison and just as tough. In the ruckus somebody grabs me from behind only to be shouted at by somebody else to ‘let’em fight!’. The next things I knew they were fighting too! The posse for one guy jumps in followed immediately by the other guy’s crew as a full on barroom brawl erupts in The Post!

***

A short time later I am against the hood of a cop car getting cuffed while behind me the bouncer says to the sheriff and his deputies. “This is the guy that started it. They badmouthed his date or something.”

As they talk about vagrant troublemakers such as me my focus is on Mei who stood by the stairs leading into the bar. She stared at me like I was a stranger again, that blank mask once again impenetrable. “Fuck.” I mutter as recall the worst part of the melee I’d just caused. It wasn’t any punch or kick or even the feeling of being crushed beneath the brutish bouncer as he waited for the cops. It was the one glimpse I’d caught of Mei during fracas. She was stood by the door, still holding it open right where she’d been when I turned around, with a look of…fear in her dark eyes. It was a look I knew would be revisiting me again and again and again no matter how many towns and cities I fled through. Why hadn’t I kept running? Why had I turned back? Why did I fool myself into thinking that Mei and I…? “Fuck!”

The others are let go while I am put into the back of patrol car. My head hung is in shame as the car pulls away from The Post. I can still feel Mei’s eyes on me though I didn’t have the courage to look her way. “Idiot.”

***

Sitting in the holding cell, my elbows on my knees and head in my hands, I wallow in the hell I had made for myself. On the cot beside me are some first aid supplies they’d left me but they sit untouched as the pain I was tending to wasn’t just skin deep.

The sheriff had done a check on me. Outside of some tickets and a misdemeanor here and there was nothing of note. Yet it was enough for him to call Athens, just to check in with my local constabulary. “We’ve got a Dusty Radley here. His permanent address says he’s one of your boys. Stirring up trouble on my patch.” He had said, as if I wasn’t sitting right there when he did so. “Can you tell me anything about him?”

The worst was yet to come. Despite my address matching the one on the insurance for the car and despite the fact that the last names were the same the Sheriff insisted on calling home…on calling Dad…to make sure the car wasn’t stolen. Sitting cuffed across the sheriff’s desk from him as he told my father what had happened was something out of my worst nightmares. Though, mercifully, I didn’t have to talk to Dad I already knew that he would NEVER let me live this down. And Mom, she would hear about it and worry about me. They would try to hide it from Ric but my brother was far more aware of what was happening than people gave him credit for and he would catch on that his little brother was in trouble. God only knows how he would react if he found out I was in prison. And worst of all, he would be disappointed in me.

And then there was Mei. That look of fear continued to haunt me. We had something there. Something real. A glimmer. But that light had been snuffed out because of my own stupid rage. Ruined. Everything ruined. Everything and everybody I touched hurt and let down.

When the cell door opens I find myself hoping that the verdict was either life or death. The thought of going out of those doors to face the world was almost too much to bear.

“Alright, Dusty.” The sheriff says. “On your way.”

“What?” I look up at him. “But…I’m under arrest.”

“Did I ever read you your rights?” He says then motions me out. “Come on. I’ll chalk it up to a terminal case of chivalry. Chad and Brad learned their lesson and I think you did too. Sounds like you’re a generally good kid and it was just an honest tussle. Boys’ll be boys and all that. Now get outta here.” I stare at him for a few seconds then rise to my feet, a little groan escaping me due to my bumps and bruises. All I could think about was getting to my car and getting the HELL out of Halcyon as fast the old SUV could take me. He grabs me by the arm as I go to brush past him and looks me in the the eyes. “You cause trouble in my town again and I won’t be so nice. I don’t care if you’re ‘Earl’s cousin’ or not.” By his tone of voice he was letting me know he knew of Barb and I’s paper thin ruse and that he had something over me that he could trigger anytime he wanted to. “You understand me, boy?”

Not meeting his hard gaze I nod. “I understand, Sir.”

My head down I slink through the station and gather my phone and belongings then continue out the front doors. I am about to break into a run straight for the motel when I see something that leaves me bewildered.

Standing alone on the sidewalk in the glow of the Halcyon police department is Mei, her hands folded in front of her. She doesn’t move. She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t crack a smile or a frown. She simply looks at me.

I pause for a long moment, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. I hadn’t looked at a clock I figured she must have been waiting at least an hour. Had she come to ream me out for being such an idiot? Why would she bother? Why waste time on a lost cause? Drawn to her as much from curiosity as anything I whisper. “What…are you doing here?”

She looks up into my eyes and tilts her head slightly to the left. “You said you’d walk me home.”