Rowana & Azzie Read Daphne & Alex Read "Pipe-weed Dreams"

Alarms blared. There was a brief cry of pain. Rowana was on her feet in an instant, combat shotgun in her hand from the gun rack she'd built within arm's reach of the bed. The pregnant ranger was on her feet in an instant and found, after a thorough perimeter check, Búrzi lapping at a damp patch of blood on the ground.

Rowana aimed the muzzle of the combat shotgun at the darkness. There was a high-pitched whine, and then the plains of Mordor were still.

"It was those women from the Harem Hotel story," Azzie said, as she picked up the cat. "I hope you didn't hurt that mermaid, baby."

The Mordor cat made no sound. But to Rowana, it looked smug. The couple settled in the living room, read the new review of their own tale.

Then, tent cuddles! I love cuddles!

"I like tent-cuddles too," Azzie said, as Búrzi rolled over so that the Urak-Hai could scratch his belly.

"Some people thought we got to the sexy-times a little too fast," Rowana noted, as she set the shotgun down and eased her bulk onto the couch. The pregnancy was progressing, and the shift to her center of gravity and over-stretched abdominal muscles had made getting up and around a little less sure than before, at least when adrenaline wasn't pumping through her.

Anyways, they spend several chapters just prepping the farm and having adult sexy times.

"It was originally just going to be a slice-of-life story, strictly on the farm and getting it up and running, and then...um. Plot happened," Rowana said. Búrzi stretched over and rubbed his face against the swollen stomach.

Our first truly gross sex scene was in Chapter 15 (though, the realistic orc cock dildo scene also was a little bit squick).

"It is incredibly difficult to gauge the appropriate sexy scene level on this site," Azzie complained. "Although the tags really should be a formal warning. Even so, 'Pipe-weed Dreams' is a bit...schizophrenic. The nature of how it came to be written meant it wasn't easy to do the natural ramp-up where kinks are introduced gradually and sex scenes intensify at their own pace. If Zeebop was ever to re-write it..."

"...don't hold your breath," Rowana said, scritching under Búrzi's chin.

"...it would probably be a little more subtle, a little more vanilla. At least starting out," the Urak-Hai finished.

Maybe cyber eyes are much more fragile than I would suspect?

"You hit a cybereye with enough ****, it can go into the brain. Maybe a little narrative license, but it's better than having Azzie rip their throat out with her tusks," Rowana said. "They're such cute little tusks. Kiss?"

The married couple leaned over and pressed their lips together. The cat, stuck between them, gave a little hiss at the sudden lack of scritches. His breath smelled like fish.

“Speaking of gross period things, Azzie eats out Rowana when they make up from the fight the next day.”

"Redwings!" The Uruk-Hai smiled. "The things I do for love."

"In real life, this is slightly unhygienic, but unless she's left the tampon in so long that she's entered septic shock, it won't kill you," Rowana said, as she resumed cat-petting. "Is that too gross? Too much level of detail?"

"Probably a little," Azzie said.

We again don’t see how Daleman gets out.

"Through the front door," Rowana said. "Daleman was a guest in the facility, after all."

They rig up a neat electromagnet trick.

"Shamelessly stolen from Iron Man. Not that we have those comics in Middle Earth," Azzie pointed out.

I love hugs!

Rowana reached out one arm and wrapped it around her wife's shoulder. "So do we."

Maybe Zeebop is filthy, but filthier when dealing with cock? Sounds like a good reason for Zeebop to write less cock-centric scenes.

"Absolute degenerate. But also, has written like several thousand sex scenes at this point. I think that makes it difficult for him to do vanilla. And you don't want to half-ass it when writing about eating pussy," Azzie explained. Her eyes got a far-away look in them. "You want each sex scene to be special and unique, to carry some resonance and emotion to it. You have to put yourself in there, try to imagine the beating of your heart and the rasp of the tongue against clit, the fierce heat radiating from the swollen labia, the sharp gasp from your beloved as you plunge another finger into her quivering fuckhole and spread—"

Búrzi coughed. Azzie shook herself out of her reverie.

"Anyway. Doesn't always work for everyone," the Uruk-Hai said with a sad smile. "Sorry for the squick."

"Right," Rowana said. "Sorry for the squick. And the cat. We do appreciate the review. And who knows, maybe at some point there will be a sequel..."

The ranger laid a hand on her stomach.

"...because nothing ever really, truly ends."