Rick's ready to go home.

"Nah," Rick said with a yawn. "Definitely time to go."

Catherine grinned. "God, it's so easy being this agreeable. I just don't give a shit at all. Whatever you want."

"Yeah?" he asked, woozily signing the check and standing. "Whatever?"

She stood and struck a seductive pose. Ordinarily she couldn't possibly hold it for more than a few seconds. She was very attractive, but would have found the Bond girl routine humiliating. Today, though, she was all confidence.

"Whatever," she purred. She didn't flinch when the pen clattered from his hand loudly onto to floor.

By the time they stumbled back into the house, Catherine could barely stand.

"The wine'll getcha," she mumbled. "On the drops, turns out a little wine... it'll getcha."

Rick rolled his eyes. Catherine noticed and sobered up a little. "Sorry, babyyy," she slurred. "If I'm... pissin' you off too bad or anything, just leave me here. I think can sleep here."

Rick stared at her, then laughed. "Really."

She looked down and burst into giggles. "Oh fuck. Oh, that was stupid." They were halfway up the stairs, where she had paused to wait out a case of the spins. "Oh, hon," she said with a self-pitying laugh. "I'm so fucking stupid now, hon. I'm... just such a dummy."

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Catherine broke into a fit of giggles. Rick snorted and soon they were sitting next to each other halfway up the staircase and gasping with laughter.

"I guess **** and drops don't do much for your intellectual side," Rick said.

"Nnnnnope," she said, and giggled. "Does a lot for my... uh... heh, my fuckin' pussy side though. You just gotta get me to a bed."

Rick was looking at her weird. What the fuck was his problem. He was looking around the-

"I'm already ON a bed?" she cried.

"You seriously don't remember me carrying you in here?" he asked.

"I think I might be losing the... I'm, like, forgetting. Missing time! Like in the X-files. I think I might be... Muldering a little bit."

He nodded. "Yeah, you're definitely kind of in and out. Do you feel ok?"

She opened her mouth to reply, then stopped. She started laughing abruptly. He looked at her quizzically, which made her laugh even harder. Soon she was guffawing too hard to container herself. He waited patiently until she calmed down. Panting and wiping tears from her eyes, she asked him to repeat his last question.

"What? Why?"

She snickered. "Just do it. I've got the perfect joke. I'm sorry. I fucked it up the first time but it's fuckin... really funny. Ok, say the line."

"Do you feel o-"

He was interrupted as she burst into laughter again, unable to even let him finish the setup. Once again, he waited patiently. He was still a little drunk and very happy to see her enjoying herself. His irritation was mostly performative - she seemed to want to get a little rise out of him tonight. She took a long drink of water and closed her eyes, then took several deep breaths. "Ok. Phew. Line?"

Rick tried to speak ass neutrally as possible. "Do you feel ok?"

She closed her eyes, concentrating like a chess master playing the most challenging game of her career. She opened them and hazily focused on his hand. She exhaled, reached forward, and took it in hers. Gently, she placed it on her right breast and looked into his eyes. She twitched just a little but kept a straight face.

"I don't know," she said in a strangely choked tone. The facade was cracking. "You- hmmph. You tell me."

She burst into laughter and fell back onto the bed. Rick shook his head, still just glad to see his wife so carefree and happy. He put a hand on her thigh and rubbed it lovingly. "I love you," he said. softly.

Catherine let out a tiny fart, chuckled one more time, and fell into the deepest, sweetest slumber she would ever experience.