Renji

Somewhere your memory shut off. You don't remember the sensation of something plush under you, you ever being on your back, or the fact that there seems to be the sound of rustling beside you. Your body still tingles and that wave of heat still sinks deep into your bones, but your body refuses to cooperate to find something icy to make it disappear.

"Hisana..."

You remember her as well, that specter following you, the one that left you in this miserable state. For some reason, you can't connect the dots that she's gone and what that was was some illusion you created for some reason or another. You only seem to register that she was with you earlier and she isn't answering now.

With great difficulty, you **** your eyes open and your aching body to move, even as the strange burning seethes more with every inch you move. "Where is Hisana...?"

A red pineapple is all you see for a moment as those hands press insistently, much to your chagrin, to **** you to lie back down.

You will have none of it though. Hisana... where is Hisana? She was with you, she expressed concern for you. "Where is Hisana?" This time, its more of a demand than it is a question and you grasp one of his wrists firmly as a warning.

"Kuchiki-taichou, you need to keep still!"

Renji... "Hisana, Renji."

He pulls back and you see it, the dull walls of the hospital, the pale light signaling dawn, and yet, your mind is still wrapped, for some god forsaken reason on Hisana. Somewhere you hear a voice telling you that she wasn't real, but there's a louder one that says Renji is hiding her from you, that Renji simply wants her because of her resemblance to Rukia since Rukia seems out of reach.

"I will not ask again, Renji. Where is Hisana?"

He shifts uncomfortably, it's obvious there's something wrong and you refuse to accept that it's you. "Kuchiki-taichou... she's dead, remember?"

Dead... yes, that sounds right. It sounds right, but you didn't imagine it. You don't hallucinate. She was there, she was holding you. You could never forget the soft, gentle touches of your beloved wife. "No."

"What?"

You will not accept it. Logic doesn't seem to register, no matter how much you try. It's flown out of the window now. You move again, rustling the blankets and disturbing the yourself when it hits you like bricks falling from the sky. You noticed the ache, the burning, but you've brushed that one spot in your lap that won't be ignored so easily.

Though you're searching for your deceased wife, you still have a mind to hold back your groan when your hand brushes against your arousal. How could you be in such a state... how pathetic...

That heavy scent of intoxicating flowers, the warmth of a presence that doesn't seem to be there. You feel that familiar feeling of swimming and that darkness presses at the edges of your vision, but the look of concern on Renji's face roots you to that spot. That aching pain that's clawing at you is almost unbearable, but you will not ask for help. Hisana would know, though...