Remorse, Act 1

"So what did you do?"

"I kicked Marco's ass out. I beat my boy's ass raw with the belt. He admitted he'd nicked the panties and stockings from Cathleen over the years. He admitted he'd been with Marco since Marco started sprouting hardons. So I tossed all that shit out, sent him to a gay conversion camp for the rest of the summer, and sent him to a military school out in Alabama. And I told Marco's parents about it, and they put him up at some strict private school in Arizona." Carrie frowned deeply.

"That was ... way too harsh, dear." John nodded shakily.

"I was in a bad place, mentally. I felt if he'd been the son I wanted, I would have still had my wife. I blamed him, and to see him in my wife's clothes, being everything I never wanted..." Your dad broke down, sobbing.

"Do you regret it?" Carrie asked quietly. You stared at the screen, on the edge of your own panic attack. Your dad breathed unsteadily.

"I do. I blamed him, when he was just doing what came naturally to him, and what Cathleen saw in him. My disappointment was my problem, and I projected it onto him. I blamed him. And I buried it. That's why you wouldn't know he even existed looking around this house. But I love him, and I wish I could tell him how sorry I am. Look at me. He doesn't talk to me, my other kids are over a thousand miles away each. My hubris destroyed any functioning family I had." Your mouth was agape. You never thought you'd hear this.

"What happened to him?" Carrie asked.

"He only talks to Sam. He went to college in New Mexico, working some IT job. Sam said he's dating some girl, but frankly I just feel sorry for her."

"Oh?" Carrie said. Now this was hitting close to home for her.

"If he's fucking her, he's not being true to himself. He probably just fucks ass, because he couldn't fuck pussy properly." Carrie snorted. "He needs to learn to be honest with himself, and I robbed that from him." Carrie took your dad's face into her hands. She kissed him long and hard.

"I fell for you because you had the capacity to be candid and truthful and ****. You've shown more today. The ability to recognize you fucked up badly. I want to fix it together. But I have to handle an emergency in New Mexico. I want to talk more tonight. Will you wait for me?"

"Barbie...I'm not doing too well. Can't you stay?" Carrie shook her head."

"You've been so strong, my love. Just a little more, please." John nodded, taking another shaky breath.

Carrie texted you on her way out.

Carrie: Be at my place in 4 hours. Don't you dare be late.