Recovery.

You're still a mess when Todd reappears. You tried, really tried to pull yourself together, but the enormity of what you've done will not allow your brain to calm down.

He arrives sooner than normal, drawn by the sounds of gunfire, although you're hardly aware of how long it's been. He bursts into the camp with his rifle at the ready, prepared to kill a hundred men, but when he catches sight of you and of the dead man, he immediately discards his weapon and rushes over.

"Jesus, Alana, are you ok?"

"Killed a guy," is all you can manage to say.

"I can see that babe. Are. You. Ok?"

"Think so," you manage to croak before turning away from him and spewing up. He reaches for you, stroking your long hair, trying to brush some of the now crusted gore from your face.

"Babe, look at me," his voice is urgent. "Look at me."

You turn to him, slowly, looking into his wide eyes. His wide, kind eyes.

"Alana, you protected yourself. You protected our baby. God knows what he would have done to you." He pauses, and looks at the body. For a moment it seems like he's about to hurl as well, but he keeps the urge under control. "Babe you had to do this. Look at him: he's armed, he's clearly ****."

"He was armed. He was ****," you absently correct.

"What?"

"He was. He was. Not is. He's dead Todd. Because of me." You burst into tears, slumping against him. "He said he was going to **** me."

"Well he can't hurt you now," Todd soothes. "You stopped him."

You heave your sobbing cries out against your boyfriend. He's holding you tight, making shushing sounds, rocking gently to try to calm you.

It takes a long time but eventually you've cried all you have to cry. Todd shields your eyes as he helps you to walk over to the washing pail by the toilet, and starts to scrub the gore from your skin. You're shivering from the cold and from the adrenalin withdrawal, and when he's done he takes off his coat and puts it around your shoulders.

He leads you into the cabin, shielding your eyes again, and makes you lie down in the cot that you share, kissing you urgently and spreading the blankets over you.

"Stay here Alana," he insists. "I'll clean up. Stay here. Try to sleep if you can."

You protest that there's no way you can stay here, but almost the instant his hand leaves your chest, you slip into exhausted oblivion.

When you wake, Todd is sitting by your cot in a folding chair. He looks exhausted, and concerned, but the sight of his kind and slightly dopey face fills you with warmth.

"Hey Alana," he ventures. "I'm glad you're awake."

You notice the quality of the light. It seems late. "What time is it?"

"Almost sundown. I was about to light the fire."

"Please. I feel like I'll never warm up."

"Well you did just sit for hours and it's almost December." You try to smile at his kindly humour but the memory of what happened haunts everything.

"Where is..."

"I wrapped him in a tarp and dragged him way over past the fence. Hopefully a bear will come and take him or something and we won't have to deal with it."

"Clarence."

"Huh?"

"His name was Clarence. Or I assume it was. He seemed a little crazy so he could have been talking about someone else."

"Oh. Well, good we have a name I guess. I looked through his things and there wasn't any clue. Some useful stuff he had though."

You shudder at the thought of looting his body. You wave at Todd to make him be quiet. "Not now, please." You'll need to get over that, but for now you need more time to adjust.

"So I'm gonna light the fire and start making some dinner for us. Lucky we have a couple days supply left as I had to rush back without bagging anything."

"Thanks baby," you murmur. Your voice sounds and feels distant.

"Listen Alana... you did good today. I mean it. I'm really really glad you're ok. If he'd hurt you... "

You manage a smile and stroke his hand. "I know Todd. I'm getting there, I just need more time." And suddenly you're crying again. "It was so horrible baby."

"It's ok, it's ok..."

"Todd..."

"Yes babe?"

"I love you, you know that right?"

"Oh, I mean. I love you too Alana. I always have."

Your voice is tiny. "I'm glad I'm having your baby Todd," you finally manage to admit it, to yourself as much as to him. "It's not going to be easy but I want to try and build a family..." You pause a few moments. "When I thought... when I thought he was going to kill me, it was the baby that made me decisive. I couldn't let him kill my baby too."

Todd holds you as you sob some more, gradually calming you down as your cries escape into his solid, comforting chest.