Reassessment and the Nature of Oaths.

We'd been quiet in our drive back from the mall. It had been hard to remember that for all of Diana's amazing qualities -- all her divine power and her astounding beauty -- she was Wonder Woman. Seeing her throw herself at the thugs to protect that couple... seeing her strength and speed and agility turned towards combat -- and at the same time seeing how careful she had been to not cause permanent injury even to the criminals...

It was intimidating. And I admit, I felt a little guilty. I mean... I loved everything we'd done, but I was forcing this... hero to service me.

"You're thinking about our arrangement," she said, looking at me as I pulled into my parking lot.

I blinked, but nodded. "I am."

"Because you saw the other side of the woman you were ****," she said, matter of factly.

I paused, flushing slightly. I wouldn't have called everything we'd done ****... but of course it was ****. She had been **** into swearing an oath she couldn't break. Even if she enjoyed it -- even if she loved it -- she was incapable of consenting to it because she was incapable of refusing it. And I'd leveraged that to **** far more than my penis into her vulva. I'd **** parts of Diana she'd never had to confront out into the open.

And she'd enjoyed it.

"Yeah," I said.

"I told you. If you ever did anything like this to anyone else, I would bring you down and bring you in, and serve out the terms of my oath as conjugal visits." She didn't sound angry or harsh. Her voice was soft, but wasn't hesitant. "You threatened people I care about. And you locked me into something I literally can never break. You locked me into something I have to protect, even from my friends. And my friends would be horrified if they realized what was happening to me this weekend, and why." She paused. "And one of those friends is Batman, Tom."

I shivered, nodding. "I know," I said.

"And... let me be clear about something," she said. "While we are having this conversation, before we go back into your apartment." She turned to look me in the eyes. "You can't release me from this oath."

I blinked. "What?"

"Thomas... the terms of the oath you made me swear has no provision for you to voluntarily release me. In order to end the oath, you would need to break your pledge to protect the identities and secrets of my associates and allies, and that will never be acceptable. So do not mistake what I am saying. I am not trying to talk you into releasing me. You can't release me." She looked outside the car window, out at the parking lot. "That is the nature of oaths. They bind both ways. So we must be ready for the day Superman or Batman, Supergirl or Batgirl, Nightwing or Donna, or any of my other associates puts all this together, because my oath compels me to protect you. And I cannot break that part of the oath either -- which means that the day may come where I have to injure or even kill someone I love to protect you and the nature of our relationship."

I took a deep breath. "Why are you telling me this now?" I asked.

"Because when we walk into your apartment I'm going to want to fuck you," she said. "I want to fuck you right now. I want to slide down and undo your pants, take your erect cock into my mouth, and bring you to ecstacy." Her tones didn't change, but she did flush, very slightly. "That's also part of the oath. My fantasies and desires can't be held back away from you. And... if I wait for the end of the weekend... then the conditions between us will change. You need to hear this right now... during the time when I am yours. So you know I'm saying it as part of my protection."

I chuckled, though there wasn't much humor in it. "Right."

"I... believe... that you are developing feelings for me," she said. "Not as a sexual ideal, but as a person."

I frowned, turning to look at her again. "Of course I am," I said.

"And I also believe... that part of that is a growing sense... of responsibility. For me. For how I react. For what happens to me." She didn't smile, but her look softened slightly. "You have exerted your dominance over me, and I cannot do anything but submit, and therefore you have accepted responsibility at the same time. So you need to understand how broad that responsibility will be."

I snorted. "Yeah," I said. "Yeah, that's..."

"How it was before. In your other relationships."

"Yeah. How'd you guess that?"

"You bound me kinbaku style. In my own golden lariat, no less. You don't learn how to do that correctly the first time by reading a book or an online post. You've done this before."

"I'm... kind of surprised you know the word kinbaku," I said.

"Why?" She laughed, smiling just a little. "You already knew I had a bondage and submissive fetish. Even if I've never had the chance before now, naturally I'd seek out information."

I looked at her, half-smiling. "You're being more open about that."

"I know. You're doing that to me." She touched my forearm with her hand. "That's another reason I had to take this moment to speak to you -- this moment where you were reassessing our arrangement instead of invoking it. Otherwise, I'd be caught up in fulfilling your fantasies and exploring my own and couldn't say all of this. Thomas, you are... you are changing me. Frankly, in ways I neither anticipated nor would have wanted."

I considered for a long moment. "And you like that," I said.

She shivered. "Yes," she said, softly. "I like it. And that scares me. Because I have **** but to submit, Thomas -- this cannot be a consensual relationship, so your changing me this way... will happen whether it's what I actually want or not." She kept looking at me. "And it will happen regardless of any other relationship that I may have in my life... which means I won't have any other relationship. Not like this. You have taken that from me along with my agency."

I looked at her for a long, long moment. I felt guilty, and more than a little angry, and confused, and all sorts of other things. I didn't expect any of those. But then, this had been a weekend of surprises.

"But it has happened," I said, finally. "And you just told me the oath can't be broken, right?"

"That is... correct."

I nodded... and slowly moved a hand over her denim-clad thigh. Her breath hissed out with the touch, like I had run electrical current through her nerves. The oath... the fantasy... and her own desires... all flooding back to the forefront with that touch.

"Then there's no sense pretending," I said, not quite curtly. "You're mine, Diana, and you're going to be mine. And just saying that gets you wet and I know it."

Her eyes widened slightly, before she looked down. "I..."

"Let's go inside. Bring your new clothes. And when we get in there, I expect you to go into the bathroom and come out in the lingerie you modeled for me in the store. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Good," I said, then turned and opened my door, sliding out of the car. I watched her do the same -- noticing that she had added a certain sensuality to the movement. I let her get the packages, then locked the car before following her to my apartment door.

I'm not sure how I was feeling. I was angry, without a doubt. Nothing Diana said was wrong, but that doesn't mean I wanted to deal with it halfway through our first weekend together. This was supposed to be my fantasy weekend, and now--

I clenched my fist but kept walking. She was supposedly incapable of violating the oath. So what was that about? Wasn't that a violation? To throw in my face just how terrible a human being I was? I thought she'd been enjoying--

And that's what hit hardest of all. She had been enjoying the weekend. She was enjoying the weekend. I had literally bound her in chains she was incapable of breaking, and I'd still spent the whole time trying to bring her out of her shell, show her something about herself, and find what she liked and give it to her in the process. I could have been a complete bastard from the start and she'd just have to endure it. I could have marched her nude down Kubert Avenue if I wanted to, and she'd have shown nothing but delight! Instead--

Instead.

She looked at me for a long moment before she went into the bathroom to change. I could see something. Pity? Worry? Who knows? Maybe it was satisfaction. From inside her perfect cage she'd still managed to score a hit. How could that be a surprise. She was Wonder Woman, right? With the wisdom of Athena, no less -- how does a schmuck like me compete with that?

How does a schmuck like me rate even five minutes with Diana of Themyscira? Well, unless they cheated, like I did.

I sat down on the couch, pulling the golden lasso out from where I'd hidden it before we went out. I stared at its glittering cords for a long moment, then wrapped it around my hand three times. Hell, I had the magical key to unlocking self-deception, right? Why wouldn't I use it? Just because it would be insane? Just because I wouldn't like what I saw?

So I looked at myself. I thought about everything we'd discussed in the car. Thought about everything I'd done to Diana and how she'd reacted...

Nothing.

Maybe self-enlightenment took more than that.