Reading the FAE’s

Frequently Attempted Escapes

Legal action

Number of attempts: 454

Successful attempts: 0

Currently ongoing disputes 330

We here at SFC are taking the Law very, very seriously and our top litigation team is always excited to prove your claims of illegal confinement wrong.

Due process is a wonderful thing and the backbone of every civilized society. We are committed that this due process will be upheld, no matter how long this may take.

As a Sissy you have neither the funds nor mental stamina required to engage in the multi year long legal process this avenue will entail.

Going public

Number of attempts: 659

Successful attempts: 0

We feel compelled to remind you that by agreeing to our Sissy Aptitude Test, you signed a NDA that upon violation will entitle us to file a claim for damages up to 6.9 Billion Dollars.

It will also not result in chastity cage removal.

Physical ****

Number of attempts: 3459

Successful attempts: 0

Sustained Injuries: 42

As a clever sissy, you have already noticed how the metal alloy of our SFC chastity device is made out of titanium. Yes, you could cut through it. No, you can not to do so without sustaining severe damage to your penis and scrotum.

Even so, you might still be tempted to take that risk regardless. Please be noted that our SFC chastity device is equipped with Smart Integrated Self Service Yammers(SISSY) which will inflict a strong, but harmless, electrical shock directly towards your scrotum in order to prevent any damage to our device and your body. But do not take our word for it, feel free to try it out!

Lockpicking

Number of attempts: 1564

Successful attempts: 0

We like to inform you that the lock on your chastity cage is purely cosmetical and serves no function. Nonetheless you have our permission to play with your cage as much as you want and prove us wrong. ;P

Hacking

Number of attempts: 1337

Successful attempts: 0

We are confident enough in our design that we have no qualms informing you that, yes, there is indeed a way to remove our SFC chastity device by hacking into our servers and undo the electronic lock. Please be warned however that we do view this is a hostile action and appropriate actions will be taken.

Becoming more manly

Number of attempts: 259

Successful attempts: 0

We have already determined that you are a Sissy with a tremendously high Sissy Score. Our algorithm has a success quota of 99.95 percent with a margin of error of 0.05%

Any attempts at escaping your fate will be amusing at best and pathetic at worst.

Bribery

Number of attempts: 659

Successful attempts: 0

SFC organization is a multi quadrillion dollar corporation with over 500.000 employees. Whatever monetary wealth you may think you posses. It will not be enough.

Threats

Number of attempts: 4505

Successful attempts: 0

Any attempt at threatening us or our associates will result in immediate retaliatory action and your enrollment in the feisty Sissy correctional behavior program.

Infiltrating SFC organization and taking it over from within

Number of attempts: CLASSIFIED

Successful attempts: CLASSIFIED

This is a very cunning plan which has the highest chance of success. If you wish to join the SFC family please apply for a position today.

Fluffy pandas

Number of attempts: 0

Successful attempts: 0

By completing our Sissy aptitude test you have automatically received a number of mental optimizations that ensures certain thoughts such as cuddling fluffy pandas are impossible. Whenever you think about cuddling fluffy pandas, petting cute kittens or playing with happy puppies your mind will automatically reset to a more appropriate topic.

And since we are sure you will be asking this, yes, waddling penguins are as a matter of course, included.

Appeal to our sense of moral and human dignity

Number of attempts: 145254

Successful attempts: 1

We are indeed susceptible to this type of emotional ****.

Please refer to additional document B3G for optimal attire and position in order to maximize potential success.

Making a Deal with the Devil

Number of attempts: 5

Successful attempts: 2

While successful removal of the SFC chastity device was previously possible by selling your soul to the Antichrist, we are proud to announce that this particular loophole was patched as of our most recent product revisal

Please refer to additional document D-66 for more information.

Fleeing to an alternate dimension by way of large motor vehicle

Number of attempts: 2

Successful attempts: 2(potential)

Our SFC chastity device does not yet have the ability to transmit signals over multiple dimensions. While we are convinced that all functionality remain intact in case of dimensional leaps we are conceding to a degree of uncertainty on this subject.