Re-election! (The End) (Bad Joke Ending!)

"You know lying to me isn't nice." I replied angrily.

"I didn't lie to you." Eris smiled at me.

"What?"

"You just heard me wrong. I said I wasn't legally required to do anything you said. You just chose to take offense to my words."

"That isn't anything at all like what you said." I objected.

"Excuse Me, I don't believe you have standing at this point. You are not a party at this point to the disposal of divine power." Eris grinned at me and pulled a pair of glasses from her pocket, placing them on her face and pulling a large legal book from a valise that I hadn't noticed she'd brought with her. "Since the apple has been already disbursed, any further discussion with regards to renumeration is considered post-facto adjustment of contract, and thus moot."

"That was... that didn't even make any..." I tried to parse exactly what she had said. It sounded like English but she was already moving on to the next topic.

"Furthermore, any further discussion must be relegated to designated policy discussion zones, which this beach is not. As a result, please register any complaints with the department responsible for your personal soul transition team." Eris grinned again sweetly, patting me on the shoulder. "You really are a smart guy choosing to go with Chaos as your chosen solicitor in this, the most tough decision ever. And you did it, Brent." Her smile became toothy, and I started to feel really good about myself. For a moment, I almost forgot about the fact that she had just bald faced lied to me. Almost.

I shook off the feeling of warmth and looked at her roughly.

"Hey, YOU lied to me, and now you're trying to..."

"Who said I was lying to you?" Eris asked angrily. "That kind of insulting talk just won't do. After all, Brent, you're making very SERIOUS accusations. You need to be very sure of your evidence before making such wild talk. What proof do you have that I lied to you?"

"I just saw you DO It!"

"So... you don't have any evidence. I thought so. See... this is the reason nobody listens to people like you. You do realize that. You make these wild pronouncements, and everybody can see clearly that you're completely insane." Eris sternly addressed me before reaching out and slapping me hard across the face. "Don't you DARE kiss me, you bastard!"

I was momentarily stunned by the strike and for a split second couldn't believe that she'd just hit me. Suddenly, before I knew it, she was in my arms, and her head was pressed against my chest.

"It's just so much work, you know..." Eris sobbed roughly. "Everybody always hates me, and the one time I think I can trust somebody, and they go and do something like... that."

My mind whirled as she held herself there. Had I just kissed her? I had wanted to, and the thought was there, but... I was sure that. Well, otherwise why would she have slapped me? She certainly wouldn't have... thrown herself into my arms and started crying.

"I'm... I'm sorry." I mumbled, trying to remember if I had actually kissed her. Her breath was hot on my chest, and her hands ran along my back.

"Just don't ever do anything like that again." She whispered. "I have to be able to trust you before I can do anything for you. But you have to believe me."

For a second, I wanted to object as I looked into her sparkling eyes. No wait... that wasn't right she had...

"I... I just need a little time, Brent." Eris stepped away from me and smiled sadly. "I just got out of a very tough experience, you understand."

"Right, right I get it..." I mumbled, looking at the tears as they streamed down her face.

"You won't hurt me like that again, right?" Eris' eyes became wide and pleading.

"Right." I nodded, wanting to do anything to end her sadness and tears.

"Then say it... say you won't ever hurt me again..." Eris whispered.

Nodding patiently at her fear and helplessness, I agreed to everything she said. After all, it was only for a little while, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. It wasn't like she could actually hurt me. It had only been a little slap, and I could almost feel the memory of her lips on mine. She knew what she was doing, after all, and somebody like her, with the whole world against her, needed every friend she could get.

"Thank you, Brent. Now... would you kindly carry my bags? We've got work to do..."

The End

Credit Music