Ramya: my first client

My emotions are a jumbled mess. Some days I feel sexy and empowered after what I did, and others I feel like a godless whore that will never get married. But losing my virginity has left me super horny. And the memory of that torrid night is always fresh on my mind when I masturbate.

As I approach the ripe old age of 24 as an unmarried Indian, my parents put in overtime finding me a husband. I meet three potential grooms and their disapproving parents. Three rejections to humble me. My lack of virginity isn't even factored in yet. The pool for Christian same-faith matches is already smaller. Then I'm too tall, too old, too Americanized, too successful and strong-willed. Will I cook for my in-laws, will I respect elders? Will I fall in line?

The sneaky questions parents ask are the worst. Have you had a boyfriend here? In other words, do I fuck? What color are the men that have fucked me? The third groom's parents frustrate me so much, I admit to not being a virgin. I'll never forget the look of horror on my parents' face or the way I'm summarily dismissed in an instant by the groom's folks.

It's so frustrating. The only thing I have going for me is that secret German grandparent, the lighter skin I have that racist Indian culture prefers. The other, perhaps larger problem is that I have zero attraction to my potential grooms. I hate that my parents are disappointed, but the rejections are mutual in my heart.

Groom number four starts off as the worst of all. He's six inches shorter than me, so the biodata alone should have suggested an in-person meetup was a waste of time. Arjun is cute, but he's so small and petite. I could pick this man up and squat him. I could beat him in a fight.

We get the traditional half hour alone to talk. I decide to take him for a walk away from curious ears. For once I want to actually get to know the guy and find out what my big obstacles are. Although I am fluent in Hindi, we speak in English. Points for Arjun. When I ask him what he really thinks, the answer shocks me.

"I'd marry you for sure."

I have so many questions. I start with the obvious one. "I'm six inches taller. That doesn't bother you?"

He stares up at me with surprising confidence. "No. Our kids will be elite athletes. And you're smart. You have good genes."

That's a big win for me, but it's sad that personality isn't really a factor. But my short king reads it and adds, "You seem cool, Ramya. You have personality and humor. I notice and care about that stuff."

"Plus I'm hot. Come on, give me a win here."

"Yes," he laughs. "My parents will never go for it, though. I can see it in their eyes."

"Yeah, I saw it too," I sigh.

"I don't know why we're looking for a bride in America if they are worried you will be too Americanized. Are you still a virgin, Ramya?"

"No. I've only been fucked once, though. I didn't have a steady boyfriend or anything. I got impatient and wanted to try it."

"Good for you. I'm jealous," he says. "I want to get laid so bad."

"Don't tell your parents I admitted that. They're going to reject me anyway. No sense in giving them more gossip."

"I promise I won't. Thanks for telling me. I would still marry you anyway, for what it's worth."

That moves me. I appreciate his words so much. He's still a virgin. Something in me sharpens. The same part that used to light up when Claire still needed guidance. Mentoring, just with a different student.

I look down at him closer. Six inches shorter. Soft-spoken. Honest to a fault. An Indian boy who will get a mediocre wife and only know mediocre sex. The power imbalance is stark. I could ruin him carefully. I know how to make a first time good. And I’m already ruined for the market that matters to my parents.

We talk for twenty more minutes, and I really enjoy his company. It's like seeing behind the green curtain, getting the inside scoop on what Indian men really think.

Arjun confesses to me he's off to Vegas tomorrow for a solo trip while his parents return home. He has a budget and plans on hiring an escort to lose his virginity.

"Those girls make that much?" I ask, genuinely surprised.

"I've done tons of research. But I'd prefer to do it with an Indian. There's a surprising lack of Indian talent in the sex trade. And I'm a little nervous about catching something."

The urge to teach rises before I can stop it. "Crazy thought, but hear me out. I'm in Vegas all next week. My CEO is sending me to speak at a convention. Arjun, give me two-thirds of that budget and I'll take your virginity. I promise I can satisfy you just as good as those professionals, and you can take me as much as you want. I guarantee I'm clean. I used a condom the only time I had sex."

"Are you serious?" he asks.

My nipples are poking through my shirt now. I am very serious. "You're a cool guy. I want you to have a good time. And I'm saving for a down payment on my first rental property. It's a win win for us both and a giant middle finger to the arranged marriage culture."

"I don't know, Ramya, what if word gets out?"

"We're both keeping secrets now. I'd draft a non-disclosure agreement for us both, but that leaves a paper trail. I think we're just going to have to trust each other."

"Okay. I think I can trust you, Ramya."

"Plus I come at a discount. You'll have money left over to gamble." I lean down and give him a lingering, soft kiss, then wait for him to commit.

"Indians do love a deal," he says with a grin, and just like that, a side-hustle is born. I'm a prostitute.