Push It

Looking at that cow, you can't help but start smiling as an idea pops into your head. It's something that you've always wanted to try, but that you've never had a chance to do. For all you know, that'll be the only one that you get. And sure, it isn't an ordinary cow, not by any means, but it'll probably be just as fun.

Planting both feet firmly on the ground, you position both hands on the ailing cow's side. Your smile extends into a toothy grin as you begin to lean forward, feeling the bovine's immense weight as you start to shift towards it. At first, it starts to just moo more loudly, not moving at all, but then the moment you'd been waiting for comes: its hooves start to lift from the ground. Only slightly at first, then a little more, and then more still. The cow itself is going nuts, the legs it has in the air kicking around helplessly while it moos in protest constantly, but you don't care at this point. You're so close. You push it just a few more inches, and finally, it hits that point of no return, where gravity is doing more of the work than you are and the cow is pulled down, send flying towards the ground. Awesome.

Well, awesome until the cow actually hits the ground, at which point it completely explodes. Not just falls apart, not just blows into bits that fly around a little, but it lets out a loud BAM! as its flesh pops like a balloon, soaking you in... well, you aren't sure what it is. Some kind of white stuff. Milk, maybe, but you don't normally expect cows' innards to be made entirely out of milk. Then again, you don't normally expect their innards to be made entirely out of anything white...

Well, whatever it is, it was that cow's insides and now it's all over you, which is pretty disgusting, so you start making your way home so that you can clean it all off.