Purchase some birth control pills

None of the choices sound pleasant to you, but you're certain that you don't want to deal with putting any object, or anything at all for that matter, into the small void between your legs. However you didn't want to leave empty handed, so you thank the doctor for his time and advice and make a trip to the nearest pharmacy. Fortunately they sell a small trial package of twenty-something pills that will save you a decent amount of money - those things cost a fortune! You didn't anticipate that women have to pay a premium just to have access to a birth control method that doesn't require direct interaction with the genitals.

It's also giving you a bit more respect for the kind of trouble women have to put up with just to be sexually active. You make a mental note to give any future girlfriend a nice bouquet of flowers once a week as small token of appreciation for dealing with this nonsense.

You make your way back to the coffee shop and order a nice cup of creamy coffee before sitting down in a quiet corner. Reaching into your pockets, you retrieve and open the package to look at the pills - to your surprise, nearly half of them are useless placebos! Are they intentionally trying to rip you off just because you're a woman? Who even... whatever. You take a deep breath. You don't even need that many. After doing some quick calculations, you figure that you need five pills to get by. Two for today, three for tomorrow, and eventually a cold beer a day after that to celebrate. As long as you don't forget to take any, they will offer you flawless protection without having to do anything at all.

You begin popping out the pills you don't need to avoid getting confused. First the placebos, next almost half of the birth control pills, until you're left with the five you need. The others, you simply slide into the trash bin next to the table. Before you forget, you also take your first pill and wash it down with your coffee. Briefly pondering the situation, you decide to put the package back into your pockets and grab your phone for another round of TinDare to try and find a decent match.