Protect ya neck!

You're decent and average. Not stupid.

This kind of power, in the wrong hands, could cause some serious damage to the world at large.

Quickly, you write down:

"New Rule: John Doe, the possessor of the Rulebook as of the time this rule is written (referred to hereafter as 'The True Owner of the Rulebook'), is the only person who can use the power of the Rulebook until such a time when he amends this rule. Everybody else will see the Rulebook as a book they have no desire to even touch."

There. Now, the power of the Rulebook was safe from being abused.

Then, a thought suddenly occurred to you: what if you lost or misplaced the Rulebook?

Hastily, you put pencil to page.

"New Rule: Whenever The True Owner of the Rulebook wants to alter or add to the rules written in the Rulebook, the Rulebook and a sharpened number two pencil will teleport into his hands if they are unoccupied, or onto the nearest available horizontal surface that would cause them no harm if his hands are busy or full."

You set down the Rulebook and the pencil in your hand; it was time to test the rule.

As all this is new to you, of course you want to add more rules to the Rulebook; the moment your Rulebook leaves your hands, before you can even put down the pencil, you find it suddenly in your hands again, along with another pencil, this one sharpened to a point, before it even hits your conscious mind.

Seems like the rule is picking up on your subconscious desires.

You take a moment to consider how to word the rule better, before finally changing the rule.

"New Rule: Whenever The True Owner of the Rulebook actively thinks about altering or adding to the rules written in the Rulebook and then snaps his fingers within the next second, the Rulebook and a sharpened number two pencil will teleport into his hands if they are unoccupied, or onto the nearest available horizontal surface that would cause them no harm if his hands are busy or full."

You set the Rulebook down again, then put both two pencils. Waiting a moment to clear your mind, you think about adding a new rule to the Rulebook, then wait a few moments before snapping your fingers.

Aside from a few heads turning in your direction from the sound, nothing happens.

You think about adding a new rule to the Rulebook again, then snap your fingers right away, and then a pencil, different than the two on the table in front of you, and the Rulebook are suddenly in your hands.

You now realize, even if only you could use the Rulebook and would never lose it, it would do you no good if the Rulebook was damaged or destroyed.

Pencil, meet paper.

"New rule: Nothing in existence besides The True Owner of the Rulebook can damage the Rulebook in any way."

You had almost written "Nothing in existence can damage the Rulebook in any way", but remembered just in time that many people consider writing in a book to be damaging it. That would have been awkward.

"Hey, that's a neat trick, even if you have a pretty bad taste in books."

You look up to see a young man standing over you. He must have seen the Rulebook teleport into your hand and thought it a magic trick of some kind.

Quick, you don't want people noticing you using the Rulebook. Time to add another rule.

"Old rule: People other than the True Owner of the Rulebook do not consider any way in which he interacts with the Rulebook to be noteworthy."

Looking back up, the young man is no longer standing there; looking around, it only takes you a minute to find him at another table, typing away on his laptop.

Phew. Inconvenience averted.

Still, the Rulebook being immune to harm didn't protect you from harm. That said, there were so many ways making yourself immune to harm could backfire on you.

Quickly, you open up the browser in your laptop and begin researching how to make it so you can't be harmed. Only after a good thirty minutes of research do you put pencil to Rulebook again.

"New rule: The True Owner of the Rulebook is:

1. Completely immune to personal harm (physical, mental, etc) from any source, and does not need to eat, drink, breathe or sleep, though he can still do so if he wants to.
2. Completely immune to poisons and disease, and any physical or genetic defects he may have are permanently cured.
3. Completely immune to pain and discomfort, though his body still signals him painlessly when he is harmed.
4. Will never die or experience pain unless he wishes to.
5. Immune to mind-reading, mind control and other forms of **** (except things like **** or hostages, that threaten things other than his person that he cares about).
6. Completely immune to any sort of ennui, boredom, despair, bitterness or whatever else he doesn't want from setting in due to his never-ending life.
7. Ageless, incapable of aging past his prime, and his mental faculties will never deteriorate; if he is already past his prime, he will instead revert to his prime."

As you finish writing the last entry on the numbered list, you suddenly feel less worn down; all those hours at the hospital in your late twenties and early thirties had really worn on you, but now, you feel stronger and more energetic than you have in years.

Then, you remembered the **** allegation, the one that ruined your reputation.

"New rule: No one will ever accuse The True Owner of the Rulebook of anything he did not really do. People will always speak honestly talking about the True Owner of the Rulebook."

Now, you're protected, and all the world's your oyster.

~ooOoo~

Author's Note: Credit to Reddit's r/MakeYourChoice, particularly u/TroyX, for a lot of these rules. His meta-CYOAs are some of my favorite.

The title of this chapter comes from the 1993 song by the Wu-Tang Clan.