Problem and Solution

Kelly couldn't sleep that night, and she decided to get a cup of tea. The mess hall was quiet, and she was the only one there. She made her tea and sat down, taking a sip and savoring the warmth and flavor. She was about to take another sip when she heard footsteps, causing her to tense. She turned her head sharply and let out a sigh of relief when she saw Samantha standing there. She smiled weakly, still a bit on edge.

"Hey Sam," she said.

"Hey," Samantha replied. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was a little stressed."

"It's okay," Kelly said. "I understand. I just… I need help. If I tell anyone else they’ll think I’m crazy.”

“So you haven’t shared this with anyone else?” Samantha asked, taking a seat across from Chambers. Her tone was casual, but her eyes were focused on Kelly. Kelly felt a twinge of suspicion, but she pushed it aside. This was Samantha after all.

"No, I haven't. I mean, it sounds crazy. But I have to tell someone. It's driving me insane. I'm just so worried. I know something is seriously wrong here and I don’t want to think about what might happen if we do nothing.”

Samantha nodded sympathetically. "I understand. It's hard to keep things to yourself,” she drummed her fingers on the table, looked around the room, then leaned in conspiratorially. “We’ll figure this out together, okay?”

Kelly nodded and leaned in as well. "Thank you, Sam. I knew I could count on you."

Samantha smiled and patted Kelly's hand. "Don't worry, we'll figure this out, but, er, before we start…” She nodded at the cup of tea. “Would you kindly?”

“Gladly,” Kelly smirked, and stood up to quickly make another. She didn’t notice Samantha’s friendly expression go cold behind her back, nor did she notice her reach out and add something to her own cup of tea. When she returned, they both sat back down and sipped their drinks. Samantha watched as Kelly began to slur her words, and her eyes drooped. She was trying to fight it, but soon the **** took hold and Kelly fell ****, her head hitting the table with an audible thud. Samantha smiled and stood up, pulling out her omni-tool and calling Miranda-Bot.

"She's out," she said. "Come get her before anyone sees."

***

“There is nothing wrong aboard the Normandy,” Miranda-Bot said as he eyes projected that familiar glow. “All is as it should be. You will forget any suspicions you had. You will not pay any mind to any minor deviations in crew behavior. All is well aboard the ship, and you have no concerns.” She continued to repeat the mantra until Kelly’s mind was completely blank, the last vestiges of her free will crushed under the weight of her new programming. “You and Samantha will enter into a sexual relationship. You will believe that you have been seeing each other covertly for a year and are deeply in love. One month from now, you and Samantha will announce that you are engaged, and will take an extended leave of absence from the Normandy. You will both travel to Omega and submit yourselves to Aria T’Loak.” Miranda-Bot leaned in and kissed Kelly on the lips, her tongue snaking into her mouth. Kelly’s eyes went wide, and her body shuddered as she was programmed. She pulled away, and Kelly smiled dumbly.

“Yes Mistress. All is well aboard the Normandy. I will forget all suspicions. I am in love with Samantha Traynor. In one month, we will announce our engagement and leave to serve our true mistress.”

Miranda-Bot nodded. “Good. Now get dressed. Return to your quarters and sleep. You will not remember this.”

“I will not remember this,” Kelly repeated. “All is well aboard the Normandy.”

Kelly got dressed and left the room, a smile plastered on her face, her eyes glassy and distant.

***

A month later, Kelly Chambers and Samantha Traynor announced their engagement, and that they would be leaving the ship for a few months to get married and enjoy a honeymoon. There was some surprise, but EDI sheepishly admitted to having observed their love affair for some time out of curiosity. There were tears, hugs, and well-wishes all around. Shepard personally saw them off alongside Liara, who none too subtly leaned in and asked when she’d be so lucky as they watched their friends lift off. They had no idea what awaited them on Omega. If they had, they would have done everything in their power to stop it. But, as far as they were concerned, all was well aboard the Normandy.

Aria was admittedly less than enthused about having to produce two new bots on short notice, especially for crew whose value was debatable. Still, given one was a snoop and the other an unstable sex maniac of questionable integrity, she believed it would be prudent to have them both taken care of now rather than later. Apparently the Yeoman was even an amateur dancer. Perhaps they could nurture that talent. At any rate, it would take some time before these new units were ready to return to the Normandy, and then even longer to prepare the next replacement.

Of course, she had all the time in the galaxy.