Princess BabyDoll has her first stream

I let out a long sigh. It’s not an easy question to answer. On the one hand, yes, I’m ready. I’ve streamed plenty of times before, so the technical aspect is easy and mostly muscle memory. The game is familiar and, except for the fun mods, will be easy to play. On the other hand, no, I’m not ready. I’m not ready to be seen as a girl by so many people at once. I don’t know how this is different than going to the mall or even the court office, but it is. I’m not ready to play the part of a flirt. Of downplaying my game and technical knowledge and play up my sexual innuendos and femininity.

I finally turn in Sarah’s arms and open my mouth to try and voice some of my nebulous concerns when she instead leans in and kisses me. Her smile is warm and even comforting. “Look, it’s clear you’re not ready. But I don’t think any amount of practice is going to get you closer. We’re at the sink or swim portion of this test. So, let’s make it easy. Go in and start playing. Just be you. Play the game and talk about it and don’t worry about being Princess Babydoll or Sadie or even a girl. Your voice is natural and won’t give you away. So long as you stay sitting down, your movements won’t give you away. Your clothes won’t give you away. But from your perspective, you’ll just be playing. In fact…”

Sarah takes my hand and guides me into my room. My studio. Everything is already set up but instead of leaving my gaming windows alone, she starts closing everything off and puts the game in full screen mode. “There. You won’t even see your audience. Play it just like earlier… like only I was watching. When you’re done, just give a quick ‘goodbye’ and sign off. Sound good?”

I feel like a large weight has been removed from my chest as Sarah cut through all the BS and knew what my concern was. It wasn’t me. It was this new me in front of the audience. Sitting down at the desk I smile up at her and nod. “I can do that. But, when do I start the stream?”

Sarah crouches down next to me and puts my ear bud in before putting my headset on over it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll start the stream remotely. You don’t even have to know when the audience starts watching, let alone how many of them there are. Go ahead… I’m gonna go get set up for my own stream. And remember… have fun!”

After adjusting my chair and the volume on my headset I start up Boulder Port 4 and start playing. After several minutes, I lose myself in the game and feel the smile come over my face from all the bikini clad villagers, fighters, and monsters. After a little bit longer, I find myself adjusting the mic and falling into my normal rhythm of talking about what I’m doing in the game. I’m not sure I could play a game now a days without narrating what I’m doing. When I get through a natural saving spot I glance over at the clock and see that it’s been fifty-five minutes. Normally I’d have had people in chat remind me to drink and stay hydrated and it was always a good reminder of time passing. I’d also expected to hear Sarah’s voice in my ear before now. Maybe just to tell me that I looked good or even to remind me that I’d been on camera for awhile and was doing well. But nothing.

I give the camera a nod and grab my water bottle. When I flip up the cap, I remember that Sarah had mentioned this was a better design as it wouldn’t ruin my lipstick. Being careful of the longer straw and gentle with my lips I lean back and take a long sip before capping it, smiling at the camera, and then returning to the game.

Going back to the game I fall into something approximating my normal rhythm. Playing, drinking, saving, narrating. It’s actually quite relaxing to let everything else fall away. Sure, I can’t forget what I look like. Any glance down at the desk shows my pink nails on the white and pink keyboard and the lavender gaming mouse. Any look that isn’t focused on the monitor lets me see the white ‘Princess Carriage’ as well as the pink walls behind it. But playing a game and narrating it is one of the most normal things I’ve done all week.

When I finally glance up at the clock and see that I’ve been at it for four hours without hearing from Sarah at all it finally hits me. Maybe she knew this would happen all along. That playing for more than a few minutes without focusing on being a streamer would relax me and remind me that at the core of all this… I was still me. That streaming as Sadie or PrincessBabydoll would at its core be just as easy as streaming as Nick or Nicholas tha Great. And letting me get to that on my own without streaming at all was worth losing a single day of streaming.

Saving the game, I left it on the menu screen and figured it might be worthwhile to practice playing up ‘PrincessBabydoll’ for the camera. Leaning back in the chair I smile at the camera and try to mimic the tone of the streamers Sarah and I had watched earlier in the day. I focused on both being playful in tone and flirty in body language. “Well boys, whattya think!? Like, my first stream has been fun, but it’s just the first and you can expect more from you’re favorite Princess! In fact…” I try to keep a straight face as I lean forward and wiggle my chest for the camera “…you can expect a LOT more, if you know what I mean!”

Remembering to be flirty was probably the hardest. I take a moment to remember ways that Sarah and other streamers seemed to look sexy without meaning to. Leaning back I give one a try, sticking my tongue out and licking casually at the corner of my mouth as if remembering something. “Oh, and the game was, like, super fun! But I’ve played it without that mod. I’m sure seeing me fight off bikini girls was fun, but I remember that fight and was picturing that big drider attacking me. Mmm.. something coming after me with eight arms sounds sooooo exciting…” I lean in and give what I hope is a mixture of a conspiratorial wink and an overt sexual wink right to the camera “… in fact I bet you’d like to see that for real right? Eight arms coming after me, touching me, rubbing me, all while I stare helplessly at you and coo?” My giggle is far more feminine than I thought it would be and actually makes me giggle harder.

After toying around, playing with a fake audience for awhile, I stay in character and decide to see if Sarah has set this up for recording. If it had streamed, it would automatically record to the server, but I wanted to watch over this later for my own benefit and see if this is the character I’d like to play for my audience. It’s probably way too over the top, but some of the less sexual things might be interesting to keep. Leaning in and looking down at the keyboard I keep talking, just as I would for any stream. “Stay right there everybody, I’ve been playing blind and want to check on some settings. I’ll pop the chat up and answer any questions you had.” Remembering something I tried on my own streams that worked out well I add “And don’t forget, big donors will always get their questions answered. Now let’s see…”

“Oh… lemme make sure this is saved for posterity. I want to remember this moment for as long as I live!” Grabbing my phone I click over to the camera and turn so that the computer and screen will be behind me. Taking a winking selfie I tap out a playful message and hit send, knowing that Sarah won’t post it as I didn’t actually start streaming… “Thanks for popping my cherry everybody!”

Turning back around I start typing out the commands to bring my windows back up in order. Watching my fingers fly over the keyboard catches my attention. My pink nails surprisingly don’t get in the way of typing. They might slow me down if I were typing out a full research paper, but I could easily keep up with a text chat and can certainly fly through my commands with ease. First up I minimize the full screen game and bring it back up in its smaller window. I then tab over to the streaming software and pull up the settings window. As long as I’m doing that, I bring up all the windows so I can double check the audience size and chat windows, seeing if Sarah ever peeked in and left me a message. Just before I look up, I bite my lower lip and nod to myself while bringing up the self-camera view.

My whole world seems to cave in at the same time. My eyes keep flicking from window to window, unable to believe any of the information that’s being presented.

Streaming length: 3.5 hours

Number of audience members: 738

Total subscribers: 385

Current subscribers viewing: 238

Current stream tips: $157

The chat window was full and still moving at a good pace. At the bottom I see a pinned message from DragonGirl069 “Can you hear me? Is your earbud even in? You’re doing so great!”

I’ve been streaming. Live. For hours. I have an audience more than three times my biggest audience ever. I’ve made ten times my normal tips. And I’ve just been overtly flitting with everybody. Just as I hear the ping from my phone, letting me know that Sarah has approved my social media post, I look up at the camera and know that no matter how startled, scared, and surprised I am, I can’t ruin what’s just happened. I need to exit, as gracefully as possible, and then log off so that I can recover and figure out what happened. Leaning back in my chair I put on a smile that I know damned well isn’t nearly as sexy and flirty as my previous smiles were. “Well. There’s.. uh.. quite a few of you out there, isn’t there! Well, I hope you.. umm… like all come back for my next stream.”

As I lean forward to log out, I remember the rehearsed sign off. Looking at the camera I feel my face return to it’s practiced smile as my hand follows its muscle memory and gives the perfect ‘blowing a kiss’ motion, kissy sound and all, before saying “Au revoir mes amours!”

With that done I use the stream deck to shut everything down automatically.

With my heart beating a million times a second I look at the chat window and scroll all the way to the top. I see that, like the steam itself, it was activated about three and a half hours ago. It goes for just over twenty minutes without any activity when a random user logs in and says hello. Fifteen minutes later someone else stops in to say hi. For an hour people keep logging in with most saying some form of hello and only a few logging out. When it’s clear I’m not talking to them, they start talking among themselves, some saying they’ve seen me before under a different name, others saying they’d never seen me ever. After an hour of that I see the first private message from DragonGirl069 “Hey, you’re doing great, but can you hear me?”

Looking at my phone as if it stabbed me in the back, I slip off my headset and pull the earbud from my ear. I can see it’s little light on, indicating it’s working. Picking the phone up though, my stomach drops as I find the problem. Yes, the phone is on and yes it’s connected to one of the earbuds. But for some reason, it’s connected to the left bud while I’m wearing the right.

Going back to the chat I see more and more people joining. By the time it’s up to 60 audience members, I’ve already got four subscribers. And then an hour into the stream, the deluge starts. I see DragonGirl069 enter the chat. As soon as she’s in, dozens start joining at the same time. She obviously did as she said she would and convinced her audience to join her. Then as if it wasn’t bad enough that I was just happily playing along, she starts acting as a moderator. Where most moderators would tap down and discourage sexist remarks, she seems to be fanning those flames. I can even spot the moment where I take a drink as they all start discussing just how sexy my lips look on that water bottle. The one that stops me cold is “I bet her lips would look even better wrapped around my c*ck!” Worse, a few messages later DragonGirl069 replies to that message “I bet you’re right!”

With my hands shaking I start scrolling faster and faster through the chat when another entry stops me cold. The message is innocent enough “Hey everybody, this is the one I told you about. Cute as a button, right?” but it’s the sender that floors me. The message was sent by PrinceLouisLove. Louis!

He must have brought his audience too. Sarah brought me up to around four hundred audience members while Louis added another two hundred. The rest were either finding me organically or were invited by other audience members.

At that moment the door to my room flies open and Sarah rushes in. Before I can even register what’s happening, she has me in a hug, pulling my face to her chest and holding me tight as she says excitedly “Oh my GOD Sadie that was AMAZING!! You were in the Zone and that chat!? You couldn’t have teased any more if we’d worked on it all day! You are going to be WAY more popular than I ever thought. And to think… we can skip right to being sexy as you’re already established it!”