Priapus helps Paul formulate a better wish

Paul woke with a start as something heavy slammed onto his chest. He lifted his head to see what it was, and found himself staring into the gaping hole of a melon-sized cockhead resting on his pecs. "Holy shit," he whispered, tentatively moving an arm towards the unfamiliar beast, "did that wish come true?"

"No" said a gruff voice, and for the first time Paul looked past the giant cock to see the midget straddling his chest that the cock was attached to. Paul shrieked in surprise and started squirming backwards. "Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you." Paul cautiously pushed himself into a sitting position, his back against the wall, his legs splayed out on either side of the midget's giant cock.

He took a moment to survey the bedroom intruder. He was between three and four feet tall, more of it in his torso than his legs. Totally nude, as was Paul. Covered in dark body hair, and his face looked like a cross between a mule and a pile of mule shit. His most striking feature, of course, was the nearly-two-foot-long thick-as-a-coffee-can penis, whose head was now poised somewhat intimidatingly in front of Paul's modest genitals. The midget was erect. So, for some reason, was Paul.

"Now as I was saying," said the midget, "No, your wish has not yet come true. But that's what I'm here to talk about."

"Who are you?"

"Oh come now, do you really have to ask?" Paul really did have to ask. "Mortals these days... I'm the god Priapus." Paul had a vague recollection of that. Something about an erection lasting more than two hours? In any case, Priapus' godly qualities were apparent now.

"Now as I was saying... hey, pretty boy, I'm up here!" Paul hadn't realized that he'd been staring at the monster in his lap. He looked up. "That's better. Now then, you wished to, quote, have the kind of cock Liz wanted end-quote, correct?" Paul nodded, still trying to wrap his head around any of what was going on. If this really was a Greek god, why the hell was he in Paul's bedroom? "Well, I'm here to explain to you why that's the wrong wish."

"First of all, why just Liz? What if things don't work out between you two? You wouldn't want to be stuck with the perfect cock for a woman you're not with, would you?" Paul frowned, and shook his head. "Right, so what you really want is for your cock to always be what your current partner wants, whoever they may be, got it?"

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," Paul responded.

"Good, that was the main thing I wanted to correct. The rest is relatively small matters. One of which is proportion. Observe. This..." he hefted his two softball-sized testicles, which quickly shrank down to the size of cherries in his hand, looking rather like Paul's own balls. "... looks silly. If you show up with a perfect cock and those teeny balls you'll be laughed out of the boudoir." He dropped his small balls, which swelled back up to their former voluminous size as they fell. "You'll want the wish to affect your balls too."

"Right. Actually," Paul was starting to mentally catch up, "while we're at it, why not my whole body?" Paul looked down at his belly, which wasn't fat, but was no six-pack.

"Sorry, not my area. I work strictly below the sash and above the knees. Now then, one more thing. What would happen if Liz pulled down your pants to discover a cock like this?" Priapus thrust his cock forward, and at first Paul thought he was just indicating it, but then Priapus's cock rubbed against Paul's much smaller member, and in a blink it wasn't so much smaller any more. Its head was now bobbing around just below his pecs. Paul stared at it awestruck, and slowly began moving his parted lips towards it.

"Cronus damnit, I've got to learn to stop being so dramatic. She'd freak out, that's what!" Paul stopped with his tongue mere inches from his glistening slit, struck by the emotion of the other's voice and, now that Paul thought about it, the truth of his words. "She'd insist you see a doctor right away, and then the doctor would probably sell you off to a pharmaceutical company as a lab rat, to see what makes your magic cock tick." Paul slumped back, swayed by the terrible scenario just laid out. "But don't worry, I can help with that too, as long as you see why it's important."

"Now then," Priapus continued, "I think that's all straightened out, and I have places to be, so if you will please repeat after me: I wish my genitalia were always my current partner's fantasy, but that no one but me would think that abnormal."

Paul repeated the wish.

"Oh, I almost forgot," the god replied, "I may be a god of fertility in part, but I'm more a god of sex, and I know the former can impede upon the latter. So everyone I work with I always ensure that they won't get anyone pregnant unless they intend to. I'll also make your junk perpetually hale and healthy."

"Uh, than-"

"No need to thank me boy," the god interrupted, "just doing my job. Alright then, you're all set. Have fun!" With that, reached down and pinched Paul's foot.

Paul woke with a start. He was lying down again, and alone. He reached down to his crotch to see if he still had the huge cock he'd dreamed of, but felt just his same old familiar Paulie. Worse, it was covered in something slimy-sticky. That bizarre dream with the midget had been a wet dream.

"A wet dream after I just got laid" Paul thought. He shook his head and let out a little sigh, confused at what strange things his mind was up to.