Testing on Grace

Grace entered with only a cursory knock – she knew the door would be unlocked for her. She was wearing comfortable jeans and a gray sweatshirt, her strawberry blonde hair back in a ponytail. She was utterly casual, as she usually was when we got together.

It took me a few minutes to explain a vaguely plausible pretense for needing her help. When I finished, she said, “So, basically, you want me to download this dating app, make a profile, and match with you on it?”

“Yes – and then we'll see how it interacts between the two of us.”

“And why me? Why not just use one of these ten other phones you have lying around?”

“Well... it's about registries and stuff like that – all these phones are in my name, so the program won't let me have different accounts on them, so...”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just teasing you. I figure you have a good reason for doing things the way you do.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. That was our way. Lots of playing around, almost like close siblings.

“OK, I found the app,” she said. I walked her through installation and set-up. She made a profile and found me quickly. “Should I match with some other guys, too?”

“No!” I said quickly. “I mean, what would Henri think if he saw? You have a good reason to match with me, but if you match with other guys...”

“Yeah, good point. I just didn't know if you needed me to have multiple matches for the sake of your tests.”

“Nope, just me – whenever you're ready,” I said, trying not to seem anxious.

“OK – all done. Ha! Cute profile. You seem sweet.”

“Seem?”

Grace rolled her eyes. “You are sweet, OK. I just mean the profile communicates that.”

While she was talking I was finding her on the app. I noticed there were not very many options left. Very few unmatched women were on the app. I wondered what that was all about. I quickly matched with Grace and saw the usual message pop up.

As I read the message, I heard Grace say in an almost dreamy voice, “Weird. Ron? What's going on?”

“What do you mean?" I asked.

Grace quickly handed her phone to me. “I don't like this at all. I'm sorry, man, but you need to take this off my phone. Something doesn't feel right.”

“Don't worry about it,” I said, and Grace immediately seemed to calm down. Weird.

“OK,” she shrugged. “Now what?”

“Well, first of all, what does your app say?” I asked.

“It says Ron has captured you! You belong to him. You must do everything he tells you to do. Await your master's instructions. Do not speak to anyone except your master about this. I mean that's weird, right?”

“Yeah, I think it might be an app for people with a whole domination fetish, but then why wouldn't it ask whether you want to, you know, dominate or submit?”

“You mean top or bottom?”

“OK freak,” I teased.

“Hey! Don't kink shame!”

“Kink shame? What is... girl, I'm starting to think you're not what you seem.”

“No, I just... I read stuff. You know... like, stuff. But I'm not into any of that.”