Zigrag and his claimant crystal

Ogres may be fearsome beasts, but a nine-to-one advantage can do wonders in mitigating that. After little more than a few bruises and scrapes the massive greenskin falls with a crash and the way ahead lies clear. The room beyond is one of the few well-lit places in this accursed hole, causing you to squint as your eyes adjust to the light. A crazed cackle from the centre of the room tells you that you were expected. Your two groups file into the room to see a raised dais on top of which Zigrag sits on a throne not unlike your own, a gnarled staff in his hand and daggers to his sides. An ogre stands at attention to either shoulder, one holding a massive pike and the other a double-headed axe, and Feathers the barbarian sits with her wolf at the base of the steps.

"Welcome, welcome. I never got the chance to thank ye, imp, after yer li'tle stunt put me in control o' this clan. Now, unfortunately me lord says yer not to be entertained, so... shall we dance?" He taps his staff against the ground without waiting for your response, and after a bright flash of green light the ground begins to shake, numerous hands clawing their way out of the earth. He tosses the spent staff aside and draws his daggers, and Feathers gives a roar as she mounts her war beast.

You turn to the warrior women who recently joined you. "I know you said it'll be close, but you three take the barbarian and her pet. We'll take the rest of this lot." All three of them nod in response, not about to argue given that they're clearly getting the better end of the deal. The stunning raven-haired cleric lets loose a glowing bolt of light at the minute barbarian, her dress fluttering as magical energy radiates from her body. You turn to see the spear-wielding ogre pull his arm back. "MOVE!" Your group scatters and the weapon smashes into the centre of your position only moments before, the massive implement crushing the rock it impacts with sheer ****.

"Okay, Mary and I are on crowd control. Tlax, cover us. Everyone else, take down those ogres!" The gorgon rushes over to you, her hissing snake-hair slowing even the shambling bones who approach you with rusty weapons in hand. You feel your hand goes numb and step out of the massive storm developing in a particularly large clump of undead, then toss a fireball into another group.

A sharp pain interrupts your concentration as you feel a cruel dagger jab your side. Tlax lets out an angry hiss and swings both scimitars at the goblin rogue, but he leaps away with incredible agility and lands behind a group of skeletons. The reanimated bones soon crumble to ash under a withering blaze from your hands, but the goblin is already flying towards Celestina's back. "Celestina, watch it, boss incoming!" She spins around and blocks his daggers with her metal bow, staggering from the impact, then the goblin is **** to leap away again as Tlax catches up to him.

"Why doesn't a single thrice-damned rogue know how to keep still?" You yell in frustration as firebolt after firebolt misses the nimble greenskin commander, a horde of undead bearing down upon you. Right, crowd control. You turn away from the rogue so as to not be distracted, then with a rush of mana a ring of fire erupts around your group. Those skeletons which manage to push through the flames are heavily charred, giving you a bit of respite.

"FIRE HOT! NO WANT TOUCH!" "STOOPID, BOSS SAY MEANIE ON OTHER FIRE SIDE. WE TOUCH." "NO! ME STAY, YOU GO." "IDJIT, IF YOU GO ME GO!" "NO, YOU IDJIT, IF ME STAY YOU STAY!" The ogre who threw his pike stands on the far side of the ring, arguing with himself as his left head stares at the flames in fear and his right head stares at the left head in frustration. Sera leans back, her body going almost horizontal, as she dodges a swing from the other ogre's huge double-headed axe. The ogre then stumbles back and groans as one of Ari's sickly green arrows pierces its cheek, swatting the shaft and snapping it off as Celestina strikes it again in the torso. Mary and Tlax now have control of the skeleton situation, ice arrows and dancing scimitars taking down what few undead make it through the ring, so you begin channelling a flame strike of your own against the huge beast your companions are trying to bring down. The pillar of golden flame elicits an angry, pained roar from the giant, then after two more arrows strike his left head he lets out a low groan and starts tilting back. Sera and Ari leap in to stab him with their swords as he's exposed.

"Everyone watch out!" They spring back at your call, and a moment later the ogre slams into the ground, the room shaking from the impact. He lies there for a second then vanishes.

"SEE, THEY KILL BITA AND CHEWA." "NO, THEY KILL CHEWA AND BITA." "IDJIT, I SAY THAT." "NO, YOU SAY BITA AND CHEWA, BUT 'E CHEWA AND BITA." "WHY I STAND YOU?" "BECUZ I SO SMART." The other ogre has made it about one step from his original position before breaking into a new argument, both heads staring at the other and fists getting ready to punch. You hear the rogue's soft footfalls behind you as one of the ogre's huge, meaty fists swings at his other head, then dodge out of the way of the rogue's knife as a roar of rage echoes the cavern behind you. The goblin is badly wounded, slashes lining his body: for all his dodging he's far the inferior of Shadowdagger.

"You know, Zigrag, I could use skilled underlings like you. Give up this fool's errand and join me, and one day you may even make level boss." You leap back as his dagger cuts through the air in a frenzied swing.

"Hah, ye think I'd ever serve some red git? Goblins need ta stick together, rule thesselves." He groans as you strike him with a fireball, his movements sluggish from your party's magic and his own wounds.

"Is that what you call taking orders from some shadowy figure and his adventurer minions?" You duck as he desperately throws a knife at you, the blade spinning haphazardly before glancing off a rock.

"Ye think I was given a choice? Sure, I coul' lose my place like yer about ta, or I c'n bide ma time until da git goez up to figh' da wyrm. Whadda I care who runs Imporne? Ol' Zigrag'll have his place." He motions to the nearby ranger and then towards the flames where you last saw your scantily-clad acquaintances. "'Sides, since when do you hate working with 'venturers?"

You shrug. "Well, Zigrag, I'd be lying if I said it's been a pleasure to know you. I'm afraid that this is the end of the line for your dungeon." Doubt flashes at his face before his eyes widen at the torrent of flame you unleash from your hands. He sprints sideways, but isn't fast enough, and groans as his feet give out from under him from the heat. Another crash echoes through the cavern as the second ogre meets his end, and a sad howl pierces the air before suddenly ending in a low whimper. The flames abate to show the three warrior-women you teamed up with sitting in a circle, the cleric chanting something which slowly repairs their many wounds.

"Oi, 'venturers?" Lucia looks up at the goblin's **** cry, then walks over, her hips sensually swaying as she does. "Ya like loot, do ya? Take out this imp and hiz bitches an' ol' Zigrag'll set ya up?"

The magus tilts her head and puts her finger to her cheek. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have any epic items, would you?"

"No, why? Ol' Zigrag's got plenty a shin—" he suddenly looks down to see her blade piercing his chest.

"That's a shame. The quest says we'll each get one for killing you." A moment later, he vanishes, a treasure chest lying in his place as silence settles over the cavern. You raise an eyebrow. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not stupid enough to attack your party anyways. You're like eight levels higher than us and and outnumber us two to one. That would only end one way." She pulls out a golden ring with a blue gem, a heavy plate helmet with only a thin slit for the wearer's vision, and a small statuette of an angel. "Hmm, not half bad. We'll have to get this helmet mogged. Nice working with you, daemon. Remember," she squeezes her breasts together with her elbows and slides a finger in and out of her mouth, "look us up in town some time."

"Thanks, maybe I'll do that. Drop by my dungeon sometime."

"Maybe we'll do that too. Later." She tosses up a hand behind her in farewell and departs, and you take the opportunity to admire her swaying backside as she does, soon joined by those of her two friends. A minute later, the six of you are the only ones left in the room.

"So, what do we do now?" Celestina's voice calls you back to reality. "I only have two or three hours left."

You aren't really sure either. You walk over to the throne and sit down, closing your eyes and going over the possibilities in your mind. "Babe?" You hold up a hand to let your first lover know you're focusing, and a moment later you feel her lap slide on top of yours. "Babe!"

"What, Ari? I'm trying to focus—" you see her pointing finger, and move your eyes to the popup sitting right in front of you.

Dungeon: Zigrag's Place
All lieutenants, champions, and bosses in Zigrag's Place have been defeated.
Claim Dungeon?
Yes/No

Well, that makes things easier. You tap yes and the popup vanishes, nothing else changing.

Dungeon: Zigrag's Place: Conquest report
Dungeon conquered!

• No champions have chosen to join you. They will not respawn as long as you remain in control of the dungeon.
• No lieutenants have chosen to join you. They will not respawn as long as you remain in control of the dungeon.
• Zigrag has chosen not to join you. He will respawn in the wilderness around Imporne.
• All underlings and minions acquired.

You open the dungeon menus, confirming you now have full control, and scroll through the options. Finally, you find one you've never really seen any need for in the past.

Relocate Dungeon
Retrieves the claimant crystal with all spent fame. You will be able to re-claim another location.
Warning: All underlings and minions will be released from your control!
Confirm
Yes/No

You confirm: it isn't like you were here for the underlings anyways. DEE-OOO

Error: Cannot relocate dungeon while adventurers are present.

"Sorry, Celestina, you'll have to wait outside. Ari, could you round up any adventurers who are still here and get them out as well? Make it quick: I'm not sure how far away Zigrag will respawn, no need to take any risks." The two nod and you wait in silence, tapping the button every minute or so while your three daemonic champions chat off to the side. After a half hour of waiting, the button finally works, and you feel a rush of magic pulse through the dungeon as the wind rushes to a point in front of you, coalescing into a thick diamond, a much larger version of the claimant crystal with which you started this journey. You toss it in the air and catch it, feeling its heft.

"Well, Zigrag old buddy old guy, can't say I liked you but things ended alright, didn't they?"

"Huh?" Sera looks over.

"Oh, sorry, just talking to myself: don't worry about it. Say, I'm going to go meet up with Ari and Celestina and head back to base: we should probably see to the ranger as soon as possible. Can you three stick around a bit and see if any of Zigrag's old underlings want to join us? Might as well recruit if we can, especially if we can convince some of those beastmasters, wargs, or ogres to sign up. We could use everyone we can get for whenever Zigrag's boss comes calling."

"Got it. And the ones who don't join us?" Sera grips the hilt of her sword.

You shrug. "Eh, just leave them be. No reason to kill them unless they attack you: they were just doing their job, and now they're ordinary wandering monsters. But I think many of them will choose to join if you spell out all of the benefits of our operation: it's certainly a lot better than what they had here." With that you give each out of them a quick hug before walking out of the room, tossing and catching the claimant crystal as you go.